The M Word.

Let me preface this by saying I hope this post doesn't make me sound totally naïve.  I also hope it does not make me sound like Tyler and I are having marriage issues, because I promise you, we're not.  This is just a totally random post, okay?  :) Okay.

If you're married, I bet you're like me and have had a few people ask you lots of questions about your marriage.  Not just silly questions, but one I hear often (especially from someone thinking about getting married) is "What about being married is so hard?"  I always have troubles answering this one.  My most common answer... "I can't explain it.  Maybe it's just because living with another person is hard.  Maybe it's because communication is tricky.  I really don't know.  It just is."  I know that's not the best answer, but it's all I can come up with.  Today in church we wrapped up our "SeXed" series that we've been doing for the last 4 weeks, and today's topic was marriage.  Not just why God commands that we wait for sex until marriage, but also highlighting the difference between Commitment and Covenant.  Why being in a "covenant" relationship (marriage) is so much different than just a committed relationship (dating).  I was intrigued... so I thought I'd highlight a few different points.

Commitment	Covenant
v     I’m in this as long as you are in it	v     We’re in this regardless of what happens
v     Kept by self-effort	v     Kept by God’s blessing
v     Bound by words	v     Bound by relationship
v     I give 50%, you give 50%	v     We give 100% regardless of what the other gives
v     Benefits me	v     Benefits us
v     Kept until circumstances change	v     Only death separates us

I think the biggest thing for me to grasp a hold of is the 4th one... it's hard for me to wrap my mind around giving 100% into a relationship and not necessarily getting anything in return.  Not that I'm saying our marriage is like this, (because it's not at all), but wow, how huge is that.
Matt (one of the youth pastors) was talking about how he heard on the Christian radio station here in town a lady talking about she got so sick of putting all of the effort into her marriage that she decided she was going to divorce her husband.  But before she went through with filing the divorce paperwork, she decided she would go over the top and be extremely nice, caring, and literally serve her husband, so that when she did leave him, he would miss her more and realize what he had that he lost.  Well, in the process of doing that, he completely fell in love with her, and in return ended up giving more of himself to their relationship.  She in turn fell in love with him all over again also.  They ended up never getting a divorce.
 
Another thing that I "know" but is still sometimes hard for me to grasp is the idea that we're not just in this until the other person dumps you, but we're in this relationship regardless of what happens.  Through better through worse, through sickness and through health.  It's something I've heard over and over again, but can be hard to wrap your mind around at times.  I can honestly remember when Tyler and I were first married and I used to have these crazy dreams about how he would break up with me.  I don't know if this was because it happened *a few* times while we were dating, or maybe it was just my insecurities, but then I'd wake up and it would hit me... we're married.  We're not just dating.  We're in this for the long run.  What a comforting feeling.  Can you imagine if marriage was taken as lightly as dating sometimes is?  

Anyways, I know this is a totally random post.  The sermon this morning really struck me in a "ah-ha" sort of way, so I thought I'd share.

Your thoughts?