Happy Day.

{source}

Happy Birthday to me.  :)

I spent the weekend with my parents who came to celebrate my big day, and today I will spend it with my boys.  Jaxon said "Happy Bird-day" and "Mommy, open your bird-day" to me this morning which has already made my day.  Tonight we celebrate with my best friend and her husband, and in a couple days again with some of the best friends a girl could have.

Another year down and I'm so thankful for the opportunity to be here and see what this next year will bring. I don't know who/what I thought I'd be when I was in this stage of my life... but I'm so happy, and I'd like to think that's what really matters.

Also?  I'm officially in my "upper" 20's.  Yikes. 

Recruiting help.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Galations 5:22-23

If you've been around Jaxon on a rough day, you know this child is a screamer.  He has a set of lungs like I've never heard.

The scariest part?  He's just like Mommy.

I say this with no disrespect to my family, but we are yellers.  Not necessarily something to be proud of, but it's the truth.  We're loud.  We can go from zero to 100 in a few seconds flat, not even thinking twice about it. It took me a long time to even recognize this, but the Lord began to convict me of it within the last couple years, which made me want to change for my boys.  I don't want them to grow up in a house where they are yelled at by their Mom.  This is daily battle for me.  I want to be better at extending grace, practicing patience... someday, I want someone to describe me as "gentle", which is almost laughable at this point.  Every morning as I have my quiet time I pray for these attributes, and while I can definitely see improvements from 2 years ago, I say with honesty that I still have my moments.

So now I'm here, asking for your help.  I need some suggestions on how to break Jaxon of this habit of yelling.  Just like I used to, he goes from 0 to 100 in seconds.  He gets so angry that his veins on his neck look like they might pop.  I want to try and help him learn to control his temper at a young age, so that he doesn't have to worry about this as an adult.  I want him to be gentle, to be kind, to be patient.  The same things I work on daily, I want to help him with as well.

But, I'm at a complete loss in what to do.  As soon as he starts getting mad and I can tell he's on the verge of losing it, I try and catch it and tell him gently that he needs to calm down.  If he doesn't listen and loses his temper, then we usually try time out... which is a joke, because he screams the entire time, defeating the purpose.  We've sent him to his room to calm down, we've taken away trains and monkey jammies (ahh, the horror)... I feel like none of these work, because his reaction to being disciplined is yelling, screaming, throwing, and kicking... again, defeating the purpose.

I can't help but feel like I've completely failed some days.  I can see that this is a learned behavior and for too long he saw the wrong side of me.  Now I feel like I'm trying to back-track, when maybe I could have prevented it from the beginning if I would have been more self aware.  Ugh, parenting is so hard and so often I feel unequipped.

If you have any thoughts or ideas, please pass them my way.  I'm pretty desperate to change this, but have no idea how.

Insecurity.

Many of you already know that I love music.  Any kind of music actually, but specifically the worship genre.  Growing up in a musically talented home probably contributed a lot to this... being involved in every kind of choir, worship team, and band that I could find most likely did as well.  My Dad was a worship leader in our church growing up, and I was proud to follow in his footsteps.  I lead worship for our youth group (and for our church congregation from time to time) for 2 years before graduating, then my plan was to attend Mid America Nazarene University and get my degree in music ministry.  I'd graduate 4 years later with a great, high-paying degree (ha!), debt free of course (double ha!), lead worship in a church, and live happily ever after.

Except, that didn't happen.  Less than a month before I was scheduled to leave Iowa and go to MNU and room with my best friend, I attended a worship conference in Colorado Springs called Desperation.  While we were there, I could not ignore the Lord's voice and signs clearly leading me to New Life School of Worship.  Putting all of my previous plans aside, taking a huge risk, not knowing a soul in Colorado... I decided to go.  

I loved...LOVED...my time there.  I learned SO much from some of the best worship leaders in our country.  I lead worship by myself once a week in the prayer center, and made some amazing friendships along the way.  One of my professors (who was also the worship Pastor), took me under his wing.  He encouraged me in my abilities and spoke some truth into my life that I too often forget. 

All of this to say, Monday night I am leading worship for our small group.  A group of 7 couples who Tyler and I love like a second family.  People we've journeyed along for the past couple years... who have been with us in our ups and downs and anywhere in-between.  These people are some of our greatest friends.

But, here's the truth.

I am scared ...to ... death to lead worship for them next week.

You see, normally my role is one of a supporter.  Our worship Pastor {who is also a close friend of ours and also apart of our small group} is great, and I love serving on Sunday mornings alongside him.  Did you catch that?  Alongside him... leading worship by myself is terrifying to me.

I told a friend recently that I keep coming up with every excuse in the book to not lead.  Maybe I'll conveniently catch the flu next Monday... or maybe I'll just be honest and explain that I'm not comfortable doing it by myself.

Of course, just as I'm starting to make those things a reality, the Lord reminds me that I can do this.  I have the training, I have the experience... AND He will equip me for whatever I need. 

You see, my voice is not perfect... in fact, it's far from it.  Out of all the students and the major talent at School of Worship, I was definitely far from being the best.  I have a horrible excuse for a good vocal range.  I am extremely self conscious... I am insecure in my voice.  But I will tell you, my heart is in it.  I love to lead worship, NOT because of the spotlight or the attention, but because I love to worship.  I love the art in leading worship.  I love to try and create an atmosphere where people can let go and just spend time with Jesus.  Most of all -- I love how it has NOTHING to do with me and EVERYTHING to do with Him. 

So no... I'm not the best. Far from it. 

But, I am trusting in Him to take my best and give me everything else I need.  

I believe that I will be blessed for my efforts.

I am hopeful that it will be a deep and meaningful time.

And I'm praying for the hearts of those friends who will be there with me.

What about you?  If you're comfortable sharing, what is something that you're afraid (or even terrified) of doing, yet you clearly feel called to?  Even if means leaving an "anonymous" comment, I'd love to hear from you.  Maybe just saying it out loud will give you the boost you need to get it done.

I love sharing my journey with you guys.  Thanks for reading. 

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. 

Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. 

I will strengthen you and help you. 

I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

Updates.

Just a few random updates around our home that have taken place...

First up, I've been stalking Craigslist lately looking for a table for our playroom.  I really wanted a Pottery Barn Kids table, but I knew the only way that would happen is with a good Craigslist deal.  Sure enough, the Lord pulled through and provided this PBK table for a fraction of what it cost brand new.

If you've been to our house, you know that our kitchen is in dire need of storage space.  When we first moved in, we had our pots & pans below the oven, which made it impossible to use them without having to take them all out and put them all back in.  Such a hassle.  My Mom and Sister were out at garage sales one day and found this pot holder from Ikea, still brand new in the package plus the hardware, for $10.  

{info on kitchen cart here}

My Sister and I were thrifting one day, when I saw this empty frame.  It needed some paint, but I couldn't pass on the $2 price tag.  I painted it with a color I already had from my bench project...and wa-la, cheap, easy, and cute! 

That same day I saw a set of shutters for $2.  I took them apart and gave one to my Sister, hot glued the boards together so they wouldn't flip around, and gave it a good clean job.  Now it sits by our front door to remind me to put bills or cards in the mail.  

Nothing overly exciting, but just a few fun (and cheap) updates!

Writers block.

I keep checking my blog every couple of days.  Waiting for someone else to say something, because I'm not sure what to say.  Hopefully some of you can relate to that.

It's hard when every day feels like a Monday.  I do fine for the most part, but weekends are especially hard. And even though it's Friday, it still just feels like a Monday.

You know the movie "Groundhog Day"?  Yep, that's me!

Okay, enough whining.

Sunday after church I decided to be spontaneous.  This doesn't come natural for me because I'm a little OCD about staying on schedule, but when my good friend Andrea asked me to join her on a 4 hour trip west to see her parents, I was pretty quick to say yes.  It was a great escape from the norm of every day living.  We toured the (kinda small) town, found a coffee shop or two, ate some good mexican food, lounged in our pj's, and let the boys play.  Three days later we returned back home, and I feel refreshed and ready to conquer the world ... or, at least the laundry I'm drowning in.

I am so grateful for a friend that I can be myself around, spend 8 hours in the car talking and not run out of things to say... and someone I can just journey along-side in this crazy life we live in.

My husband picked me up Wednesday night in our new (to us) vehicle, a Chevy Traverse.  Dang, that man did amazing on this purchase.  We walked away paying about $45 less a month than we would have, if I would have had my way a few days earlier while we were there doing a test drive.  Oh, and let's not forget all of the upgrades: a DVD player, new tires, 2 sun roofs, leather seats, and more space than I ever imagined.  I am so thankful to be married to a WISE man who cares about nothing more than what's best for his (our) family.  Between my research on the vehicle, and his mad negotiating skills, we walked away extremely confident in our decision and mostly just feeling thankful.

Hold on to your seat, I'm about to get random.

Anyone ever heard of project life?  I am thinking about doing it.  It seems to be a happy medium between crazy scrapbooking and nothing at all.

I went to Trader Joe's for the first time last weekend... sad to see the store closest to me did not sell any wine.  Side note:  almond butter = ahhhmazing.

I want to make this, and this, and these.  None of them would go good with my diet, but diet schmiet.

This article made me feel really good.  Understood.

Considering these shoes for my next tennis shoes purchase... or maybe for my birthday coming up, hint hint.

I'm in love with chevron prints and I'm trying to figure out how to incorporate that style into my house.

The whole SOPA and PIPA thing has my stomach in knots.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, you can read about it here.  Please consider signing a petition, here is one from Google.

The next 'big' project in my house will be re-decorating our bedroom.  This picture is my inspiration.

Oh my, these seriously make me laugh.

Have I mentioned today that I love Jesus?  And coffee?

Loved this article about using YOUR words.

 where's cohen... peek a boo!

Ahh, feels good to be back.  I'll try and be a little more regular in my posting next week.

Happy Weekend!  Any big plans?

Winner - Erin Condren giveaway

Thank you so much to everyone who entered... whew, lots of entries and I was so happy to share some EC love...

My husband very rarely reads my blog but knew about the giveaway.  I told him to pick a number between 1 and 77, and he chose #23.


DRUM ROLL PLEASE...

Congratulations Stacey!!  Email me at meg.keith@gmail.com and I'll give you the code!

Thanks again to everyone who entered!

Tragedy.

Two years ago today, Haiti was hit with a catastrophic earthquake.

I didn't go overseas to help, I didn't spend countless hours volunteering and giving.  I've been thinking about it a lot this week, and how I'm thankful for the people who DID give of their time, energy, and who made a lot of sacrifices to stand in the gap.

But, something I did do was ache along side them... and I prayed.  I remember my heavy heart.  As a new Mom, I tried to put myself in their shoes and imagine what it would be like to lose loved ones, to lose everything you once knew.

Sometimes it takes a tragedy to put things into perspective, and today is one of those days for me. In the midst of tragedy, in the middle of a trial... we may lose everything in this world, but we will never lose what really matters, our relationship with our creator.

I find myself going through these materialistic phases, where I want,want,want and after I get one thing, my mind jumps to the other.  It takes a heart transformation for me to realize what's really important.

source

Anyone else thinking about Haiti today?

Erin Condren Giveaway!

Oh sweet friends of mine... I have a treat for you today.  :)  The best giveaway of all time...

You all know about my love affair with Erin Condren... it is so extreme that my husband has kindly labeled me an "Erin Condrenaholic".  I have the life planner, the address book, the note pads, and an iPhone case on the way.  It's nuts, I tell you... but what's not to love?  If you didn't see my post about my life planner, you can catch up here.

Such a fantastic company... quality products ... CUTE cute stuff ... and I'm so excited to partner with Erin and give one of my lucky readers a

$25 GIFT CERTIFICATE!

So, if you've been holding out for a sale... here you go!  Half off a life planner.  Or maybe you have another product of theirs on your mind... whatever you decide to spend it on, I know you'll love it.

Here's how to enter!

Mandatory entry:
"Like" ErinCondren.com on Facebook, then leave me a comment saying what you would buy with your gift certificate if you won!

Extra (optional) entries: 
Become a follower of my blog, or leave a comment saying you already are!
Share this giveaway on either Facebook or Twitter, then leave a comment saying you did!
Sign up for the newsletter on their website, then leave me a comment saying you did!

Make sure to leave me a separate comment for EACH one of your entries. 

I will count them up and randomly pick a winner at NOON on JANUARY 14.

GOOD LUCK!

In the details...
Giveaway begins today and ends January 14. Winner will be picked at random and will have 48 hours to claim their prize before a new winner is chosen.  The gift certificate cannot be used towards iPhone cases.  Open to US residents, ages 18 or older.

Extra fine print:
I was given this opportunity from erincondren.com.  All opinions are 100% my own and no compensation was made. 

In the moment.

One of my New Year's goals is to be more present, more aware, more in tune with what's going on around me.

It's so easy to grab your phone to respond to a text or phone call, and not end up putting it down for another 30 minutes.  Between the games, photos, facebook / twitter ... you see what I mean.

I was blog-surfing yesterday and stumbled across this post.  She had created a wallpaper for her lock screen on her phone to help her remember the goal for the year.  Then she tells you how to put it on your phone... can't beat that.

I was pretty quick to upload it ...
An extra reminder never hurt anyone.

Go here to download a copy for yourself!

How sweet it is.

Don't you love days that you can lounge in your jammies?

No where to go ... no one to see ... just enjoying every second of having absolutely nothing to do.

Every good and perfect gift is from above...

James 1:17

Snippets.

It's been a while since I talked about what's happening in our neck of the woods, so for anyone who is wondering, here ya go!

The weather has been amazing lately, hasn't it?  While I do love a nasty snow storm, these higher temps that have allowed me to let the boys run and play outside are lifesavers. Am I the only one who hates having to bundle up their kids just to run an errand?  Big bulky winter coat... hat... gloves... shoes... check!  Summer time is so much easier.  Shoes... and, let's go.  :)

I finally uploaded the pictures off of my iPhone recently.  I took 4,657 pictures over the last year and I'm amazed at how much faster my phone is running now... ha!  Who knew...

This post has been pinned on Pinterest and brings in almost 25,000 hits on my blog a day.  It makes me wish I would have taken the post a little more seriously (with directions I gave) ... I was a bit sarcastic in my writing of the post, which is a little embarrassing now, especially when I receive so many emails asking for "real" instructions.

I can't believe Jaxon will be 3 next month.  He has hardly left his train table's side since receiving it for Christmas, which makes me so happy.  

Tyler is working 7 DAY work weeks until Mid-February.  It's going to be a long month so I'd appreciate your prayers!  I am so thankful for the gym membership we have, and how it's an hour and 15 minutes (that's my max time I'm allowed to leave them) of ME time!  I have also really been digging into the Word again in the mornings, so I hope between the two of them, I can keep my sanity the next month-ish.  My Mom was SO great to remind me recently that at least he gets to come home each night, unlike last year when he was working in Denver for 4 1/2 months.  It really put things into perspective for me.  Things can always be worse.

Speaking of the gym, I went to this 20/20/20 class this morning.  20 minutes of cardio, 20 minutes of strength, 20 minutes of arms/abs.  I almost died.  We ran 1 mile for the cardio (plus 6 times up/down 4 flights of stairs) and the instructor said "these 20 minutes of cardio go SO fast, we gotta push ourselves..." all I could think while she said that they go fast, was "fast? this is the slowest 20 minutes of my life."  Hopefully I can find the strength to return next week.


My friend Grace and her family are adopting a sweet boy from Thailand this coming year.  Along with every adoption comes the need for financial support, but more importantly, prayer. You can read more of their story here, and if you feel led, I know they'd greatly appreciate any help you can provide... whether that's financially OR as a prayer partner.

We are in the process of negotiating a new vehicle.  We've had our Rav4 since 2006, and it has served us extremely well... but we need something with more space. (and no, this is not a pregnancy announcement!)  If you have any recommendations for a roomy SUV with a 3rd row option, please pass it on!  At this point, we have our eyes set on a Chevy Traverse but we'll see what happens.

Cohen is now 14 months old and he is finally starting to TRY and walk!  We've always joked that he's a really lazy baby, but I know that the reason he hasn't even tried is because of his ears.  Up until getting his tubes put in, he would hardly even stand unassisted.  Seeing him try and walk is so exciting... I scream almost every time, which is probably part of the reason he topples over... ha!

I have a really really really great giveaway planned for next week... so stay tuned.  I think it's even good enough for all of you lurkers to come out of hiding.  :)

Twenty-twelve.

I've been unusually quiet this week thinking about how to start off another year of blogging.  Do I make it lighthearted or serious?  How do you kick it off?

I want to be sure I'm living intentionally in 2012.  Loving whole-heartily, and extending forgiveness easily.  I want to live by my life verse...

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

{Romans 12:12}

Joyful in the hope of His promises for my life.  Patient when trials come along.  Faithful in prayer, learning to commune with him daily and throughout the day, not just during specific prayer times.

On top of this, there's a list of other things I want to do in 2012, which include:

a cleaner house
better time management
work-out 2-3 times a week
run a 5k ... gulp
less complaining, more gentleness
read more


Did you catch that tiny mention of a 5k?  Heaven help me...

What about you?  What do you hope to do/be/accomplish in 2012?  
{Feel free to link back to your post if you have already blogged about this!}

Best of 2011.

Tears ran down my hot cheeks this afternoon as I read through our 2010 update.

2011 just HAD to be better... and, it sure was.

The Lord is so faithful to comfort, provide, encourage, and give us the desires of our heart.

January

After returning to Texas after a vacation to the Midwest for Christmas, our desire to move home got strong. // Cohen got petussis. // Went to a Kari Jobe concert with a good friend. // Started really understanding the relentless pursuit for his people Jesus has.

February

Waco had it's first snow, and the entire town shut down. // Jaxon's 2nd birthday party. // Started weekly accountability chats with a mentor, and weekly coffee dates with a friend. // Traveled to Branson to spend a long weekend with my family. // Jaxon said his first prayer.

March

Enjoyed beautiful days outside with my boys. // God taught me a lot about comparison. // SO.CLOSE. to selling our house back in KC. // Cohen started solids, I started making my own baby food. // Disconnected from twitter & facebook for 40 days for Lent. // I started 30 day shred.

April

Started thinking about potty training Jaxon. // We celebrated Easter. // Our house in KC sold... yay!! // Visited World Hunger Relief in Waco. // Date night swaps with some friends. // Seriously homesick and had no idea when we'd see family again. // Tornadoes and fires swept Texas.

May

Had a tooth pulled, and dentist drama. // Celebrated Mothers Day. // Started Zumba. // I realized I had helped 11 families start cloth diapering. // Tyler got a call about a job in Kansas City. We accepted. 3 days later he started. A week later, the boys and I joined him. // Our last Sunday at Antioch, first Sunday at our old church. // We love our new home, but landlord drama begins.

June

Took our first trips to see Grandpa & Grandma AND Nana & Papa. // Playdates with old friends and cousins. // My Sister got engaged! // Home improvements are in full force. // Potty training begins. // Cars 2 date with Jaxon. // Lots of walks and afternoons at the park. // Coffee with my Momma

July

A fun 4th of July. // Celebrated 6 years of marriage! // Family canoeing trip + Family camping trip // DIY projects in full force. // Vacation to Wisconsin Dells & Minnesota with my parents // Tyler started a new shift, 1pm-10pm // A/C in our house did not work properly // ER trip for Tyler's sliced finger.

August

Coffee dates with my BFF. // Sister's bridal shower. // Lots of bike rides! // Cohen's ear infections start coming one after the other. //  My family came to visit // Enjoyed our family mornings together // Jaxon and Daddy attended their first Royals game together. // Cohen's first hair cut.

September

More days spent in water. // College football games watching my brother play. // Took my Sister's engagement pictures. // Spent more time at Nana & Papa's and Grandma & Grandpa's. // Planned and threw my Sister's bachelorette party // Loved the fall weather.

October

Started sewing and finished my Sister's wedding programs // Celebrated my parents 30 year anniversary // Sister's wedding!! // My babies spent 4 days at Nana & Papa's house, first time away from Mommy // Cohen's 1st birthday! // Cohen's 8th ear infection in 6 months = tubes // Urgent care with Cohen for 106degree temp // Tubes surgery // Halloween

November

Went to Women of Faith with my Mom and church friends // Bike rides & walks with the boys // Start my new "job" // Erin Condren rocked my world // Painted the upstairs, months overdue // Sister and husband came to visit // Thanksgiving with my family + a trip to Iowa // Christmas decorating

December

Loved every minute of the Christmas season // Busy weekends // First snow // Plaza lights // Fancy double date to Trans Siberian Orchestra // Christmas with both families // Christmas morning with my boys // Fires in our fireplace // The magic of Christmas in a child's eyes.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 

I am so thankful for the reminder of God's goodness and blessings this past year...

My heart is full being reminded of it all.

I am ready for another year... filled with expectation for what will come.

It's a new year... new people, new challenges, new experiences... but thankful to serve the same God. 

Here we go!  

HAPPY 2012