A change: week 4

I'm a day behind, but trying to stay on top of it so I can look back and remember my journey someday.

Weight Gain/Loss:  -1.5... (-6.7 total)

Exercise this week:  I worked out every day this past week, except on Sunday!  I ran 3 times, did Jillian 30-day shred, BodyPump, and Zumba.  Such a fun (and motivating) workout week! 

Overall health: Feeling good.  It's weird, but I'm starting to notice on the days that I don't workout, my muscles (especially my knees) ache so bad!  A little ironic, but maybe it's from the rest. 

Hardest thing this week: Hmmm.  Probably trying to not get discouraged with the 1 pound loss... it's a LOSS, so that's great, but I really worked hard this week and hoped for more.  I was under my calories every day except one, and the day I went over, it was only by 9 calories.  Totally patting myself on the back right now.  :) 

Overall thoughts:  I had 3 people tell me I was looking great/skinny so that is such an ego boost!  I'm really starting to like exercise and LOVE the way I feel afterwards.  Also?  I think it's time for some workout clothes.  I'm getting tired of wearing pajama pants to the gym... ha! 

This coming week: Running, running, running.  I have a super busy next couple of days, and then we leave on Sunday for our week-long vacation to Canada...!!!... so I hope to still stay active throughout the week.

Anyone else have a loss/gain to report?  Thanks for following along with me on this journey! 

Do not worry.

Sometimes I get jealous of the people who have husbands who work 8am-5pm, no weekends, with a steady income... and most importantly, with a secure company.

My husband and I have never had that 8-5 no weekends job.  When he worked for the aviation world, he worked 10-12 hour shifts, 4-5 days a week.  And now, in the engineering world, his schedule is all over the place.  Sometimes he gets home after I'm in bed and leaves before the boys wake up.  He has also worked about 80% of the weekends since starting, over a year ago.  The very few Saturday mornings he has been off feel like Christmas morning sometimes.

Normally, I'm not one to complain.  His job is great.  He's doing something that he REALLY loves.  It is different each day, and he learns new things a lot.  He comes home happy, and doesn't mind going to work in the mornings.  To me, that is worth the odd & extra hours that his schedule is... because he's doing something that he really loves.

Unfortunately, life always has twists and turns, usually when we're not expecting it.

And that's the hardest part for me.
The unexpected.
The unknowns.
The fear that threatens to swallow me whole.

Which, of course, goes perfectly with my devotional that has been on repeat in my head from a couple days ago...

"Concentrate on keeping in step with me, instead of trying to anticipate my plans for you.  If you trust that my plans are to prosper and not harm you, you can relax and enjoy the present moment."  

{Jesus Calling}

More often than not, I find myself trying to plan, trying to predict, trying to figure it all out... and completely missing the present moment I'm in.  I'm way too caught up in trying to have it all together and planned according to MY wants for our future, that I completely miss the point. 

Our goal each day should be concentrating on HIS heart and HIS desire, and resting...RESTING!... knowing He already has it all worked out anyway. 

My hope, my future... they are rooted in Heaven. Not here.

And yes, I'm totally preaching to myself today.  :)

We can make our plans,
    but the Lord determines our steps.

Proverbs 16:9

A change: week 3

Ok - I'm discouraged.  This is going to be a total debbie-downer post.


Weight Gain/Loss:  -0, no gain, no loss. (-5.2 total)

Exercise this week:  I ran 3 times (couch to 5k program), weights once, and a little bit of Zumba.  I didn't do as much as I originally wanted to.

Overall health: Feeling pretty good.  Much more active and conscious about wanting to get up and do stuff instead of sitting on the sidelines. 

Hardest thing this week: Jaxon *hates* going to childcare at our gym.  This deserves a post of its own, but each day when I have to convince, beg, and eventually end up TELLING him we're going to the gym is such a struggle.  I already have this internal battle with myself to go, then I finally get myself all pumped up and get ready to leave... only to begin the fight over again with Jaxon.  I'm absolutely not blaming my lack of going "above and beyond" this week on him - but it does make it so much harder.

Overall thoughts:  I should have taken measurements when I first began.  I had 2 different people encourage me to do that this week, and I need to get a tape measure.  I am starting to feel different (and some clothes are beginning to fit differently), but this week the scale didn't reflect that so I am discouraged. Also, I went over on my calories 4 of the 7 days... so no wonder.  Ugh... I have such a love/hate relationship with food and my inability to say 'no' sometimes.  1200 calories is SO hard to do on the days you don't exercise... which of course, just means I need to be doing some kind of exercise each day. 

This coming week: Running, and I'm dreading it.  Yesterday's work-out was BY FAR the hardest one I've had, and by the time I was done I wanted to never step on a treadmill again.  I started getting these shooting pains up/down my back, which spread to my front, and turned into massive stomach cramps while I was running.  My brother also encouraged me to do more weights this week, to burn more calories... and I'm going to try and go to a couple classes.  Maybe even some Jillian at home. 


What about you - how was your week?  Gain?  Lose?  Hanging steady?  Share below!

A little bit random.

How was your weekend?

I traveled to my parents house for the day on Saturday to spend some QT with my Dad... if you know him, you can probably guess what we did!

Played volleyball in the front yard.
Went swimming.
And played games that night.

Sounds just like him, yes?  I love you SO much, Dad!

Sunday we had a low-key day.  Our boys slept until almost 5pm so Tyler and I were lazy in the afternoon and then closed out the night with a squirt gun fight in the backyard and a little Sonic ice cream.  Well, Tyler had ice cream.  I didn't, because the MINI size was almost 400 calories... crazy stupid yummy delicious not good for you ice cream.

My husband really is the best Dad I could ask for to Jaxon and Cohen.  He drops everything the minute he walks in the door and plays with them until they go to bed.  He is SO patient!  The man hardly ever raises his voice and loves to teach them how to do new things.  I am so so so thankful for him and the role he is playing in our boys' lives.

Still one of my favorite pictures of him...

On a completely unrelated note, today I checked out a preschool in our area for Jaxon.  Such a surreal experience... one you think is YEARS from happening, until you blink and it's time for you to start thinking about that.

We are trying to decide if we'll enroll him in the summer program or not, but I'm confident the fall program will be here before we know it and he'll be away from me 2 (half) days a week.  What will Cohen do without him?

But then, in the same minute, I'm thinking... he's only 3... 3-year old preschool is not a necessity... is it worth the money... is it worth being tied-down and not being able to leave town if I wanted to during the week... is this the right route to go?

So, what do you think?  Will you enroll your child in 3 year old preschool?  Will you wait till s/he's 4?  Or will you just skip right to kindergarten?

I'd love to hear your thoughts, and why.

Have a great Tuesday!  Tomorrow is weigh-in... yikes.

 

“I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.

    I will advise you and watch over you."

Psalm 32:8

A sting.

I was sitting on the living room floor playing with Jaxon yesterday afternoon when I said to him,

"Jaxon, thanks for playing with Mommy."

"Yep!" he replied.

"I like being your friend, buddy."

"You're not my friend.  I don't want to be best friends.  And I don't want to play with you."

Yeah, he's 3 years old... I get that.  And in the big picture, I also know I'm not supposed to be his friend, but his parent.

But, it stung.  Quite a bit actually.

He's been saying things like this more frequently than not lately, and while part of me wonders if he really understands what he's saying, I also realize there's going to be a day (probably sooner than later) that he will fully understand it and still say mean things.

Sigh, this parenting gig really is hard work.

A change: week 2

I am really starting to ENJOY this!

That's a huge statement for me.  The running is getting more enjoyable, the counting calories is really turning into a breeze, and I am feeling so much happier overall.

Weight Gain/Loss:  Down 2.2 pounds...!!  (5.2 total)

Exercise this week:  I ran 3 times (couch to 5k program), weights afterwards, plus swimming twice and a fast walk/run with the boys last night. 

Overall health: Still tired a lot, which I'm hoping will get better.  This probably has a lot to do with me staying up too late... but I love that no-kids time with my hubby!  

Hardest thing this week: Beating myself up on the 2 days that I went over on my calories.  I really let it consume me on those couple nights, and I need to be better about not doing that.  

Overall thoughts:  I was under/right at my calorie goal 5 days out of the 7... happy about that!  Also excited about the 2 pound loss this week, right before I weighed myself I was thinking that I would be happy as long as it wasn't a gain, so a 2 pound loss was happy for me! 

This coming week: Zumba, 3x running, and hopefully some more pool time.  Summer is fun! 

I have gotten texts, emails, and facebook messages from a few girls who don't have blogs but are also participating... so, to anyone who is joining me in this... WE CAN DO THIS!  Let's focus on what we've lost and not how much farther we have to go.

One of those amazing ladies shared with me this morning:  "We cannot give our hearts to God and keep our bodies for ourselves."  Ouch... conviction!  

Leave me a comment or message and let me know how you did this week... 

Here we go!  Week 3! 

Preach it.

I was walking through the Target clearance aisle the other day, when I spotted this beauty.

I started feeling like it was preaching right to me as I begin to follow my dream, so it now hangs on my wall.

My original intention for this space wasn't necessarily a gallery wall, but as I keep adding things to it, I'm starting to realize it may end up that way.  I hope to add a family picture soon.

So I guess I'm curious... are you doing what you love?  If not, what's holding you back?

Life and Peace.

Trust Me and don't be afraid, for I am your Strength and Song. 

Do not let fear dissipate your energy. Instead invest your energy in trusting Me and singing My Song. The battle for control of your mind is fierce, and years of worry have made you vulnerable to the enemy. Therefore, you need to be vigilant in guarding your thoughts. Do not despise this weakness in yourself, since I am using it to draw you closer to Me. Your constant need for Me creates an intimacy that is well worth all the effort. You are not alone in this struggle for your mind. 

My Spirit living within you is ever ready to help in this striving. 

Ask Him to control your mind; He will bless you with Life and Peace.

{Jesus Calling - Sarah Young}

Letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. 

But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.

Romans 8:6

Goodness.

Bless the Lord, oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I worship your holy name

The sun comes up
It's a new day dawning
It's time to sing your song again
Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes

You're rich in love and you're slow to anger
Your name is great and your heart is kind
For all your goodness I will keep on singing
10,000 reasons for my heart to find

Bless the Lord, oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I worship your holy name

{10,000 Reasons: Matt Redman}

A change: week 1

I'll be posting each Wednesday with my weight loss for the previous week, and any additional thoughts I had.  If you have a blog and are interested in joining in a link-up, all you have to do is write a post about your journey the previous week, and link your blog in the comments!  I'd love for us to keep each other accountable.  And if you don't have a blog but would like to join in, just tell me how you did this past week in the comments.

So here we go!  Week one.  Deep breath in....

Weight Gain/Loss:  Down 3 pounds!  I am super excited about that.  I want to lose at least 1 pound a week, so 3 was a happy surprise!

Exercise this week:  I ran 3 times (couch to 5k program), plus about 30 minutes of weights after each run.

Overall health:  Not noticing a big difference (yet!), other than just feeling happier and better about myself after I exercise.

Hardest thing this week: Being able to decipher between being "hungry" and just wanting to snack.  Also, PORTION control!  I heard once you're supposed to eat enough to not be hungry anymore, not to eat in order to feel full.  There's a big difference there, and I need to learn this.

Overall thoughts:  Turning down Chick-Fil-A fries and sauce last night was a HUGE thumbs up for me!  Trying to learn that food does not make me happy, no matter how much I think it does before I eat it.  I went over on my calories this past week 3 days, and each time it was less than 100 calories over.  4 days this week I was under my calorie goal!

This coming week: I am going to try and go to the gym 4 times, plus be more overall active during the day and at nights.

... and deep breath out.

Week one is over and I'm feeling good about it.  Thank you all for your encouragement yesterday!  It really meant the world to me and I cried reading through the comments.

Have a happy Wednesday!

Time for a change.

I'm about to upload one of the worst pictures of me to ever hit your poor poor eyes and computer screen.

But, it has to be done.  Reality hurts.

Sorry about that.

I'm so tired of feeling this way...
depressed
really unhappy with myself
tired ALL.THE.TIME
eating when i'm happy/sad/nervous/mad/and any time in-between
self-conscious
jealous of others who don't look like me

As much as I hate working out... and I mean HATE it... I have to do it.
For myself... for my general overall happiness.
For my kids!  They deserve a happy Mom.
For my husband... he loves me no matter what, but I want him to really like me too.
And most importantly, for God.  He has called us to take care of our bodies and I'm disobeying Him on a daily basis.

So here's what I'm doing... and holy buckets, I can't believe I'm posting this for the world wide web.
I'm working out.  3-4 times a week, running..weights..elliptical..classes..ZUMBA!
I'm watching what I eat.  1200 calories a day, no more, no less.  No fancy expensive diets or counting points... just simple math.  (myfitnesspal iPhone app is helping tremendously!)
I'm taking advantage of any opportunity I have to be active.  Going on more walks, running around the yard with the boys, going on frequent bike rides.

I did really good a couple months ago.  I lost 12 pounds and really started feeling good about myself.
Then my knees started crapping out on me...
Then I got sick...
And once I was better, I once again used my knees as a crutch.  While it wasn't a lie, they really KILLED me, it was still an excuse.  I was afraid of the pain.
Because my Dad, who has had knee surgery and horrible knee troubles his entire life, is now a runner!  He's running a MARATHON with my Sister this year... what!?
If he can do it, so can I.

I have exactly 25 pounds to be back to my pre-pregnancy weight.  That number hurts to type... but you know what?  In 2007-2008, I lost almost 80 pounds by doing the same exact formula as above.

I can do this.

I can do this.  So can you.  Is anyone interested in taking this journey with me?  Maybe we can make a link-up out of it.

Each Wednesday I'll be weighing in, and reporting my results.  You guys are going to keep me accountable.  I need the help, the words, the motivation, the encouragement.

So here we go!  I started running + counting calories last week, and so I'll weigh in for the first time tomorrow.

See you then.  :)

Source: google.com via Megan on Pinterest

Workin' at the car wash.

Jaxon's best friend spent the night here this weekend, so we thought we'd put the boys to work.

out of focus... but my proof that this boy does not like getting his hands dirty!

Cohen was done... can't say I blame him.

The boys ran and ran and ran until the sun went down... I love tired babies!  Oh, and PS... little boys in swim trunks are just the cutest thing.

We had a perfect weekend... it was a great mix of getting things done, plus relaxing, plus just enjoying time together.

Friday I also got to talk to one of my favorite e-friends Leah, through her thick Minnesotan accent I was so thankful for the words of encouragement and advice she passed my way.  I love blogging and the sweet friendships I've made.

The Lord is stirring up things in mine and Tylers hearts, and while I don't feel like I'm at the place yet to share, I can say I'm excited about the days ahead.  He continues to open doors of opportunity and I couldn't be more thankful.

Tonight I lead worship for our small group.  One of my favorite things we do together... there's nothing more special and intimate you can do with friends you love than entering into the throne room alongside them.  My prayer is to be used as a vessel to lead them there.

"Not for us, but to your name be the glory!"

Hope you all had a happy weekend as well.  Bring on another summer-fun-filled week!