The little guy.

He's here!

Cohen Michael Keith made his grand debut at 7:59am on October 29th.

He was 7 lbs, 1 oz and 19 1/2 inches long.

We are absolutely smitten over him and Jaxon just stares at him and simply says "baby"... today he wanted to hold Cohen every chance he got. He lays his head on him and gives him kisses constantly.

Love love love.

My recovery isn't going as smoothly as my first time around, so I appreciate any thoughts & prayers you can send my way.

Cohen, on the other hand, got a 9.9 on his apgar (out of 10) and is breastfeeding like he's been doing it for years. He's amazing.

Be back soon.

{soon = as soon as a new mommy of 2 under 2 possibly can}

Ramblings.

Today's my last day one-on-one with Jaxon. {he's sleeping right now... hence the reason for this post} Tomorrow my Mom and Grandma will be flying in, which I'm crazy excited about. So today is it ... the last time I woke up because of just him, the last time we had breakfast and lunch alone, the last time we went to Toddler Time at the library alone, the last time we went on a walk alone... and the day is only half over, so there will be many more "lasts" today.

I heard a quote about love the other day... I can't remember whose blog it was on, and if these were the exact words, but it went something like this:

‎"The thing about love – it’s expansive. Finding more people to love does not take love away from those you already love."

It was a good reminder for me. That no matter who else in my life I find to love, including the boy who will make his appearance in 2 days... my love for the people that I already love will never change. My love for Jaxon won't diminish. My love for Tyler won't grow weak. My love for my family and friends won't change. It's just another person that God has blessed me with, and for that I'm so thankful.

It reminds me of something my cousin told me, when I first found out I was pregnant. She said to me "Right now, you love Jaxon with 100% of your heart. In your mind, you think once the baby comes that you'll love Jaxon with 80%, and the new baby with 20%. But you're wrong... God will give you another 100%. You will still love Jaxon with 100% of you, and suddenly you have another 100% to give to the new baby. You'll see..." I have never forgotten that... so thank you, Hollie.

As sad as I am for this chapter of my life to end {one-on-one time with Jaxon}, I am also excited for a new chapter to begin. My life will be flipped upside-down and most days I will probably be in tears by bedtime, but I know it will be filled with love. I know, without a doubt, that I will love every second. Because it's my life, and these are the boys that I've been blessed with.

On a less sappy note... here's some fun pictures from my iPhone this past week. {hence the crappy quality...sorry}

Sitting in a bucket ... hey, whatever is comfortable...

I have no idea where he learned this, but just this past week Jaxon puts things up to his face, like a mustache, and screams "HAHA!" ... it had me in tears one day from laughing so hard.

Doesn't quite understand that this is for the baby, not for him... he uses it as a recliner, when it's not supposed to recline. :)

Sitting and playing in the big box of clothes we got from Gma Nancy... again, wherever's comfortable...

Giving kisses to his Giraffe... all the sudden he is attached to this giraffe and his teddy bear. He has to have both at naps and gives them kisses and hugs before falling asleep {of course I'm watching this from the monitor... haha!}

Two peas in a pod... Daddy and Jax.

I am not sure I'll be back before the baby arrives, but I will definitely blog from the hospital and let you all know he's here. Thanks for the prayers... as the day approaches I am getting more and more nervous about the surgery itself... being in a new hospital with a new doctor and nurses and my HATE for needles gives me some anxiety when I think about it too much. But I am confident everything will be fine and next time you "see" me, I'll be a mom of two!

Finally, be strengthened by the LORD and by His vast strength.

Ephesians 6:10

Confession.

Hi, my name is Megan and I'm a stalker mama.

You see, we bought a video monitor and it arrived a couple days ago.

Ever since then, I can't stop watching my boy sleep. I watched him toss and turn while dozing off into la-la land for over an hour last night.

Then I watched this morning as he thought about waking up... sitting up in his bed, laying back down. Sitting up... laying down.

Now it's nap time and I am not getting anything done, because I'm too busy watching my son sleep.

Creepy? Maybe.

But really, what is more peaceful than watching a child sleep?

I think it's my new favorite TV show.

Progress, take three.

I just got an email from our realtor back in KC. Our buyer just backed out of our contract. Oh wait, you didn't know our house is still for sale in KC? Yes, it is. This buyer backed out for no good reason, and right now I'm super angry about it. For once, it's not even Wells Fargo's fault... just the buyer. Seriously, maybe the third contract we get on the house will actually go through. Third times a charm...? Sigh... so so so frustrating.

Anyway, trying to change the subject so it doesn't ruin my entire day ... I'm here to report on how close I am to being ready for the baby to get here. Here's my updated to-do list:

• Sort through Jaxon's old newborn/0-3 month clothes, cry because half of them are fleece and it will be 70+ degrees when this baby comes, and put them away.
• Buy a dresser, to put the above mentioned clothes away.
• Buy short sleeved clothes / light fabric long sleeves {newborn and 0-3 months} to replace the above mentioned fleece clothes that he won't be able to wear. {thanks, texas!}
• Get out the "baby stuff" and put it all away / set it up. {Boppy, baby tub, swing, bouncer, etc.}
• Buy newborn diapers. Buy any diapers. Just buy diapers. {this one seriously put me in a panic a couple weeks ago when I realized I haven't bought a.n.y.}
• Buy a baby book. Easy enough, you would think, but I can't find any. Any. Thanks Nana!
• Buy month to month stickers, to take pics on each "month birthday"
• Buy a co-sleeper.
• Buy a diaper bag.
• Buy crib bedding. {Jaxon will use his crib bedding on his new toddler bed, once he moves to his toddler bed, that is.}

You'll notice that some of my "to-do's" are only half done. Like, I did sort through all of Jaxon's clothes {and cried the entire time} but I don't have a dresser here yet, so I can't put them away. Tyler's parents graciously offered to bring an extra dresser they have sitting around their house that they aren't using to give to us when they come. So once they arrive and we get it set up, I can cross that one off my to-do list too. The other thing that's half done is the task of getting out all of the baby things and setting them up ... they are all out of storage, but I need to clean and sanitize them, and set them up. And install the car seat.

Oh, did I mention my husband is working every day up until the baby comes for the next week? He switched around his schedule so that he could have more time to be with me/us after the baby is born, which I appreciate. So I'm trying to remember that as I sit alone each day for the 13 hours he's gone... at least he comes home at night which is better than a few months ago when we were living 11 hours apart. {reality check!}

Still looking for a bassinet or co-sleeper... yeah, I'm a week away from d-day and still have no place for the baby to sleep... no biggie......

The only other thing that I need to do, that's not on my list, is pack my bags. Pack my hospital bag, and the diaper bag. I need to google the list of things to bring, I can't think of anything besides remembering newborn binky's. What can I say... mom of the year, right here ;) I'll do it one of these days ...

I guess I'm in a procrastinating kind of mood today.

One week from today my Mom and Grandma will be flying in! I can't wait!

And just because a post without pictures is boring...

I got 2 of these stools/chairs for our kitchen table off Craigslist yesterday. The guy paid $210 for them each, and I got them both for $75.

Score!

Tidbits.

- Sorry about the lack of posting ... Jaxon got a nasty cold last week, gave it to Tyler on Saturday and Sunday, and then of course I've had it ever since. I don't know what it is about Waco, but there's some kind of nasty virus going around constantly, and Jaxon is always the first to pick it up, either at library time or maybe in the nursery. I started giving him kids vitamins today... what else can I do?

- I am praying praying praying that we are all well by next Friday when Baby #2 makes his debut... honestly I can't imagine coughing and sneezing like I am now with a c-section incision. I remember the first time I sneezed after I had Jaxon, and seriously bawled. It hurt SO bad. This cold is seriously kicking my butt so I am praying for relief.

- Sunday we went to a pumpkin patch about 20 minutes outside of Waco. We had a blast, and went early enough in the day that it wasn't too hot. Here's a couple of my favorite pictures from the day:

- Sunday night we checked out a small group from church. We are really happy with the church we've been going to ... it is a non-denominational congregation and seriously, every week I've been I have walked away having learned something new. The pastor is SO good... and the worship is good as well. Anyway, we finally got enough courage to email one of the small groups and ask if we could come check it out, and we're so glad we did! The girls in the group were super super friendly and easy to talk to, and I heard Tyler chatting away with the guys a lot too. We both left feeling really refreshed and encouraged, so I am excited to go again this coming Sunday.

- My to do list before the baby comes is slowly dwindling down ... yet I still feel so overwhelmed. I wish some family could come and spend time with me for a few days before the baby comes to help me, or at least distract Jaxon while I do stuff. I wish I could quit wishing for things that can't happen. Haha.

- Tyler and I have been hanging out with a couple that we met at his company picnic about a month ago... they have a 3 year old boy and a 3 month old girl. Tyler and the guy work together, so the wife (Holly) and I have been hanging out about once a week for a play date or whatever, and then we have been getting together all together with the guys on one of their days off. They are a fun couple and just moved here also from Seattle. Anyway, she invited us over on Monday for a Pumpkin Carving party. Funny random fact about me... I've never carved a pumpkin before. Yeah, whatever, maybe it's weird. We had chili, homemade corn bread, pumpkin cookies, and pumpkin cheesecake dip. Here's the pumpkins Tyler and I carved:

Mine - it's a flower design in case you couldn't tell :)

Tyler's - haha!

The back of Tyler's ... is the K for our last name, or for the baby's first name?? Hmmm

- Tyler got a speeding ticket on Saturday morning on his way to work. He was going 44 in a 30... which sounds like he was being a crazy driver, but it was on a 4-way highway and honestly the next day he showed me where it was, and while we were driving 30 mph, people were honking at us and tailgating us really bad. It's a weird area and I'm not sure why the speed limit is so low... although I'm not trying to make excuses for him. When he got home and I was looking at the ticket, I realized they wrote his name wrong, which happens to him frequently. He got excited because he thought that he heard somewhere that if your name is wrong, the ticket is void. Tuesday he went to the courthouse to pay for the ticket and face the judge, and the judge said "Wait, according to this ticket you weren't even speeding." The officer wrote that he was going 44 in a 30, instead of the opposite... HA! Okay, again, I'm not condoning his lead-foot or anything, but believe me, this was an answer to prayer... God definitely knew we had better things to do with $200. And it was a reality-check for Tyler to quit speeding.

- We upgraded Jaxon from his high chair to a booster chair at the regular table. It's SO weird to eat dinner and look over and see him sitting next to me ... it's almost a flash-forward to when he's 16. See how cute he is?

- I am happy with myself for the ways that I've reached out to meet people since we've moved here. Like I mentioned before, I've been hanging out with Holly at least once a week, and I have met a few girls from library time that we're having a play date with later this week. And then of course the girls from small group... even though I've only met them once I have a feeling those could be some good friends of mine someday. And all of them told me to let them know when I have the baby and I'm ready for some company at the hospital so they will come visit me! Yay... you have no idea how happy that makes me. I guess I'm proud of myself for reaching out to people when, honestly, I really don't want to. I hope these friendships just continue to grow.

- We are now in the single digits for how many days before Baby #2 arrives, and more than anything at this point I wish I could sit down with Jaxon and tell him all about what's about to happen. He's too young to understand, and I'm afraid of Friday morning when he wakes up and Mommy and Daddy are both already gone to the hospital {and the baby will probably be here by that point}... so the people that usually greet him in the morning are gone {hello Grandma!} and then he's whisked away to come meet this other little bitty human who is now going to be living with him, and he doesn't understand why or who he is and why he's hogging so much of Mommy's attention, and where is Mommy for the next 3 days, why isn't she coming home? I just wish he was older, so he could understand it better. Can you tell I'm really worried about this transition?

- I joined e-mealz.com in hopes of getting new recipes and making grocery shopping a little bit easier for me. So far, I'm not overly impressed, but we've had a couple meals that we've really enjoyed and will make again.

- I keep finding myself looking forward to not being pregnant anymore, then realizing I should quit doing that considering the chance of us having another baby is ..... well, it depends on which one of us you ask. ;) Anyway, the baby was moving around a ton the other morning so I caught it on video in hopes of remembering these last few moments and will share it here soon, once someone tells me how to upload a video to blogger... :) Any helpers?

- I love this little boy so much my heart feels like it could explode some days.

- I think that's enough randomness for one day!

Wishes.

My inlaws are starting their Christmas shopping early this year, so they are asking for our Christmas lists already. It's hard to think about Christmas at all with everything that's happening in the next couple weeks, but it's only about 2 1/2 months away... gulp!

I am having issues coming up with some ideas, so I'm here today to pick your brain and see what you're asking for.

The only thing on my mind right now is new clothes. I will no longer be pregnant and will be working towards getting back to my pre-preg weight at that time, so clothes shopping sounds fun. At this point anything sounds like more fun than being pregnant anymore though.

I keep seeing all these cute girls in boots, and I wonder... am I boots person?

What about skinny jeans - or just jeans tucked into boots? Can I pull those off with these Buffie thighs I have?

I could always appreciate a new pair of TOMS. But I already have 2 pairs. How much is too much?

Or a new purse would be fun. But I'll probably be carrying my fantastic new diaper bag forever.

Maybe I'll ask for some new fun jewelry.

Or maybe I'll just stick to my usual list that has kitchen things on it, candles, and practical gifts... things I actually need.

I wonder if I'll decorate for Christmas this year. With a newborn and Jaxon to take care of, am I going to have the motivation or desire? Especially since it'll probably still be in the 70's at that time? And since we probably won't even be here for Christmas? Because then comes the dreaded chore of coming home AFTER Christmas to a Christmas-themed house and having to tear it all down. Not cool.

But I have to get the baby a "first Christmas" ornament... which means I need a tree. But where would I put a tree in this teeny-tiny house?

Okay, I'm done... see how crazy my brain is? It never stops!

Back to the Christmas list. What are you asking for?

Wordless Wednesday.

Rave.

Too often we hear negative things about companies. Complaints about customer service or about products in general, so today I am here to rave about a couple of companies that have knocked my socks off with their customer service recently.

{and no, neither are paying me for the reviews... although if they stumble across my blog I am gladly accepting gift cards and/or free merchandise, ha!}

First off ... Bed, Bath and Beyond.

Not only do they have the best coupon policy around {always mailing 20% off coupons, and you can use 1 coupon per item... so if you buy 4 things, bring your 4 - 20% off coupons that you have, and they'll apply them to each item instead of your total purchase} ... awesome in itself. The coupons also never expire. Sweet dude.

But what always amazes me is their return policy. Most companies (cough, target, cough) require that you have a receipt or gift receipt or else they will give you store credit for the lowest price they have sold that item for recently - jerks.

For my birthday this year, I bought a Keurig machine from them. Love it, can't say it enough. I had a really terrible coffee aversion when I was first pregnant with this baby, and so Tyler took the Keurig machine out to Colorado with him when he left to go work there. During that time, the pump stopped pumping water so we needed to return it, but Tyler did not have the receipt OR the box! He called BB&B asking them what he could do (thinking they would refer him to the manufacturer) ... they told him to just bring it in, even though he didn't even have the box. They looked up the transaction with our debit card, and let him grab a new one off the shelf, not paying a penny. Seriously... awesome.

Next up ... Zappos.com

Tyler has always sworn by this website when he buys any of his shoes. What we always do is go shoe shopping at the store, find the shoe we like, and then buy them off Zappos because it's generally cheaper, if not the same price. They always have free shipping, unless you upgrade to the overnight option. Tyler bought some Sketchers work boots/shoes from them in April, before he left for Denver. He has always worn Sketchers for work and is happy with them. This time around, one of the shoes was defective. It started falling apart right away, while the other shoe was just fine... so we knew it was just a 'lemon'. He stopped wearing them but didn't even bother to try and return them because he figured, like most companies, they had a 30 or maybe 60 day return policy. With his new job and 12 hour shifts he recently wanted to buy a different pair of work boots, so I told him he needed to try and return his Sketchers first. I logged on to their website only to find that they have a 365 day return policy! An entire year! Not only that, but they pay for the shipping to return them back to the factory. Sa-weet!!

While I was on their website, I thought I'd check their prices for Keen's for toddlers. Tyler bought a pair of Keen's right after we were married and loves them to this day, so he was all about me getting Jaxon a pair. They had them on sale - normally $50, on sale for $24. Less than half price, with free shipping? Sign me up.

THEN... Zappos decided to upgrade our shipping from regular (3-5 business days) to overnight for FREE! So the next day, look what showed up at our front door:

Aww, little camo Keen's. Adorable, right?

It is so nice to receive good customer service in today's "the customer is NOT always right" economy. If you decide to shop at either of those places you have a great experience also!

Color me happy.

Jaxon colored his first coloring a couple weeks ago while he was in the nursery...

You know me... I'm here to show it off.

Aww, didn't he do great?! The teacher said he grabbed it off the table after completing it and said "mommy?" Who knows what he meant, but I would like to think he meant "give this to my mom for me, will ya?"

To the baby book it will go ...

{despite the fact she spelt his name wrong... guess I should just get over that, it will happen his whole life I'm sure!}

Just being real.

Most days, I am happy.

And if I'm not, for whatever reason, I try really hard to see the positives in my life, which really does make me happy.

Today, I just feel so ... sigh... feeling sorry for myself, I guess. Missing both of our families. Missing my friends. Missing Jaxon's buddies and playmates. Missing our community of fellowship from church. Missing the fall, cooler weather. Missing missing missing.

It makes me sad when I think about staying overnight in the hospital room by myself. It makes me sad to think that all of our family and friends won't be there to meet the baby before we leave the hospital. {side note: my Mom and Grandma are coming, along with Tyler's family at some point. So that is a happy side note.} It makes me sad when I look at all of Jaxon's pictures and see our entire family there the night he was born. It makes me sad to see one of my closest friends Karalie at our side, caring for us and Jaxon. It makes me sad that my siblings and my Dad won't even meet my new son until Thanksgiving. It makes me sad that my sister won't sneak into my house while I'm sleeping with my newborn and do dishes for me. We had company pretty much non-stop in our hospital room celebrating our new baby boy, and this time around I'm just terrified of sitting there alone. It just makes me sad that things are going to be so different this time around.

And I'm scared. I'm scared to be a Mom to 2. I'm scared I won't have enough love, enough patience, enough time in the day to tell them both how much I love them. I'm scared Jaxon will feel replaced. I'm scared he won't understand. I'm scared of nursing again, and recovering from a c-section again with a 1 1/2 year old to chase after. I'm scared of never showering again and never getting any sleep or time in the day to just breathe. I'm scared of not loving this child the way I do Jaxon. I'm scared I won't be good enough for both of them. I'm scared they are both going to need me at the same time and I won't be able to help them both... who will I help first? I'm scared of my husband and my relationship going south because of the stress of it all. I'm scared of doing all these things without any support, without any friends and family nearby.

I realize these are 'consequences' of us moving away. I realize that, and obviously don't blame anyone for it. We moved here for a reason. To be together, to have stability, to have medical benefits. We moved here because God wanted us to. Why? ... I'm just not sure yet.

I feel bad even complaining, like I'm not allowed to. I mean, I expressed for how long that I'd go anywhere just to be with my husband and son and be together again. And I really did (do) mean that. I just cannot understand why the things had to happen the way they did ... why in January Tyler got laid-off to begin with. Why he essentially got laid-off again before even starting a new job 6 months later, which would have allowed us to stay in KC. Why we always have to live so far from our families. Why. Those are questions I may never have answered, and I have to be able to accept that... somehow.

Don't get me wrong... overall we really are happy here. Tyler coming home each night, eating dinner together, seeing my boys play together, falling asleep together... those are things I cherish and to this day appreciate more than I ever did before. Maybe that's the reason... maybe that's the answer for those questions. To help me not take for granted those things in life that I always just expected and never fully appreciated.

Today, I just feel sad. Tears keep coming out of my eyes. Jaxon just keeps looking at me and rubbing my leg to console me. Just as your Momma used to say ... sometimes, life just isn't fair.

On a lighter note ...

Guess what I got today in the mail. A hand-written letter from my sister. It, of course, brought me to tears ... but what doesn't these days? I swear I have some kind of crazy-pregnant-lady-always-crying syndrome. Poor Tyler... I'll be lucky if he doesn't admit me to a psych ward before my pregnancy ends.

She also sent me this recipe - Pumpkin Roll with Cream Cheese Filling. The only bad thing about this? I need to have it. Right now. You better believe I'll be making it tonight, or tomorrow. Whenever I can get myself to the grocery store.

Thanks for making me smile today, Sister.

The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy and loving-kindness, O Lord, endure forever -- forsake not the works of Your own hands.

Psalm 138:8

Pizza burgers.

Here's another recipe I made recently that we really enjoyed so I thought I would share. It's actually a family recipe of mine, and I remember my Mom making these frequently through our childhood, but I haven't ever made them myself and while sorting through my recipe basket looking for some new meal ideas, thought I'd give it a chance. Glad I did -- we both really liked them!

Pizza Burgers

- 2 lb hamburgers

- 1 can spam, grated (recipe calls for a large can, but I found the smallest one I could and used that much)

- 1 pound velveeta cheese, grated

- 1 jar Tomato Sauce

- 1 jar Pizza Sauce

- 1 tsp sage

- 1 tsp oregano

- Mozzarella cheese

- Hamburger buns

NOTE: This will make a very large batch, so unless you are feeding an army, you may want to cut the recipe in half, or plan on freezing the leftover meat mixture for a later time.

1. Brown hamburger, and drain excess grease.

2. Add grated spam. (believe me when I say I am not a spam fan, but I bit the bullet and added a little bit, per my husbands request. You can't taste it at all.)

3. Add grated velveeta cheese (try not to cut up your fingers like I did in the process... ouch)

4. Add jar of tomato sauce, and pizza sauce.

5. Add both seasonings (I also added some pizza seasoning, cuz that's just how I roll.)

6. Mix it all together, and heat until the mixture is hot.

7. Spoon heaping tablespoons onto each half of a hamburger bun. (Do not use huge oversized hamburger buns like I did... they will be better if they are the small, regular sized buns.)

8. Add some mozzarella cheese to the top of each burger.

9. Bake at 350 for 15-20 minutes. You want the bun to be crispy, so that they aren't soggy.

10. ENJOY! :)

Progress, take two.

A little follow-up to my "progress" post from the other day ... here's some of the stuff I've received in the mail recently.

First up, my Carters clothes order ...

It came full of itsy bitsy teenie tiny clothes that I "ooooed" and "awwwwwwed" over for hours after opening the package. The clothes are so tiny. It is hard to remember Jaxon ever being that small!! Tyler got home that night and as I was showing them to him, said "who is gonna fit in those?" ;)

I love Carters clothes and LOVE their prices and sales ... got all of these items on clearance for less than $35. Mama score!

Next up ... my much anticipated Pottery Barn Kids order arrived ...

I've never had a "designer" diaper bag before and I actually felt a little guilty buying this ... but it was on sale AND I had a coupon. And my husband kept telling me it was okay, and that I deserved it for taking care of Jaxon alone all summer. So okay, okay... you twisted my arm... I got it.

And the bedding? Well, after discussing forever if we should get new toddler bedding or new crib bedding, we decided on the crib bedding, because -- and I quote -- "I don't want Jaxon to feel like {insert baby's name here} is taking over all his stuff." -- were Tyler's exact words. Awww, my heart just melted, again. So I went with a boats theme, only because I couldn't find any "transportation" bedding I liked. Now I just need Jaxon to move to his big boy bed so I can put this new bedding up.

See what I'm talkin' about people?! It's progress.

I love getting packages. The UPS man probably seriously thinks I'm crazy by now. Maybe it would be fun to be a UPS/FedEx driver. I mean, who doesn't love getting mail? Maybe it would be fun to deliver happiness to people. Just another thought from my crazy train.

Back to my to-do list ...