True or false?

Women who are pregnant (whether they know it or not) have many clumbsy moments... whether that's dropping things, tripping, or even just running into chairs/walls.

What do you think... true or false?

The M Word.

Let me preface this by saying I hope this post doesn't make me sound totally naïve.  I also hope it does not make me sound like Tyler and I are having marriage issues, because I promise you, we're not.  This is just a totally random post, okay?  :) Okay.

If you're married, I bet you're like me and have had a few people ask you lots of questions about your marriage.  Not just silly questions, but one I hear often (especially from someone thinking about getting married) is "What about being married is so hard?"  I always have troubles answering this one.  My most common answer... "I can't explain it.  Maybe it's just because living with another person is hard.  Maybe it's because communication is tricky.  I really don't know.  It just is."  I know that's not the best answer, but it's all I can come up with.  Today in church we wrapped up our "SeXed" series that we've been doing for the last 4 weeks, and today's topic was marriage.  Not just why God commands that we wait for sex until marriage, but also highlighting the difference between Commitment and Covenant.  Why being in a "covenant" relationship (marriage) is so much different than just a committed relationship (dating).  I was intrigued... so I thought I'd highlight a few different points.

Commitment	Covenant
v     I’m in this as long as you are in it	v     We’re in this regardless of what happens
v     Kept by self-effort	v     Kept by God’s blessing
v     Bound by words	v     Bound by relationship
v     I give 50%, you give 50%	v     We give 100% regardless of what the other gives
v     Benefits me	v     Benefits us
v     Kept until circumstances change	v     Only death separates us

I think the biggest thing for me to grasp a hold of is the 4th one... it's hard for me to wrap my mind around giving 100% into a relationship and not necessarily getting anything in return.  Not that I'm saying our marriage is like this, (because it's not at all), but wow, how huge is that.
Matt (one of the youth pastors) was talking about how he heard on the Christian radio station here in town a lady talking about she got so sick of putting all of the effort into her marriage that she decided she was going to divorce her husband.  But before she went through with filing the divorce paperwork, she decided she would go over the top and be extremely nice, caring, and literally serve her husband, so that when she did leave him, he would miss her more and realize what he had that he lost.  Well, in the process of doing that, he completely fell in love with her, and in return ended up giving more of himself to their relationship.  She in turn fell in love with him all over again also.  They ended up never getting a divorce.
 
Another thing that I "know" but is still sometimes hard for me to grasp is the idea that we're not just in this until the other person dumps you, but we're in this relationship regardless of what happens.  Through better through worse, through sickness and through health.  It's something I've heard over and over again, but can be hard to wrap your mind around at times.  I can honestly remember when Tyler and I were first married and I used to have these crazy dreams about how he would break up with me.  I don't know if this was because it happened *a few* times while we were dating, or maybe it was just my insecurities, but then I'd wake up and it would hit me... we're married.  We're not just dating.  We're in this for the long run.  What a comforting feeling.  Can you imagine if marriage was taken as lightly as dating sometimes is?  

Anyways, I know this is a totally random post.  The sermon this morning really struck me in a "ah-ha" sort of way, so I thought I'd share.

Your thoughts?

My wanna-be craft room.

Well, as promised, I return tonight with pictures of my craft area.  Remember in my previous post when I said it wasn't going to be anything fancy?  Well, it's not.  But it works for now.  It's going to be so nice to be able to stamp and not have to completely load everything back into my tote everytime I stamp.  Here's a few pictures...
     

 I'm so happy that everything now has a home.  :)

I wasn't able to stamp tonight because I spent the evening with Lindsay Seldon - she is working on favors for her upcoming wedding in June, and called me in a panic while she was at Archivers because she had no idea what she needed to buy.  I told her I'd be right there, and we went to Hobby Lobby and found lots of stuff.  She is making bookmarks and since she has never stamped and doesn't really scrapbook, she was overwhelmed with trying to come up with a design.  We went back to her apartment and came up with about 7-8 "mock" bookmarks for her and Andy to choose from, and then we'll duplicate them.  I had a blast with her... we don't get together nearly as often as we should since we only live minutes apart, but when we do get together, it's always fun.  So even though I'm sad that I didn't get to stamp tonight, I'm happy that I was able to spend some time with a friend.  :)

In honor of my little-tiny-not-so-great craft area, here's a few inspirational craft rooms that I want to have someday.  All courtesy of www.ratemyspace.hgtv.com

      

Hey, a girl can dream, right?  :)

Card parties = fun.

Here's a few cards that I made last night at a SU card party.  It was a blast - I had a great time.  Jenn (the demonstrator) makes sample cards and then you get to choose from the sample cards and make 5 different cards, 2 of each.  So you walk home with 10 cards, for $15.  I think that's a pretty good deal.  :)  I chose these 5 and made them last night at the party.  Remember to click on the thumbnail picture, and it will take you to the full picture. 

         

  

 I learned some pretty cool new techniques.  The first two cards aren't my favorite, but that's alright.  On the 3rd card (labeled "flowers") we did watercolor.  I was nervous to do it since I had never done it before, but it was so easy and fun.  We used these water pens and took a crayon color and rubbed it against the crayon, and then basically just painted it onto the paper.  It was so cool.  (I added the crayons and watercolor pens to the top of my "want" list..hehe). 
On the 4th card (labeled "gratitude") we took post-it notes and tore them, then stuck it to the bottom to cover up the bottom of the paper.  Then we took a roller and light blue ink and rolled it across the paper.  Then moved the post-it note up, and used the next shade of blue.  Then again for the 3rd darkest blue color.  I love how they turned out.  :)  My only regret on this one is that I wish I would have used the darkest blue color for my "With Gratitude" stamp so you could see it better, but oh well. 
On the 5th card (labeled "wonderful") we used a scoring technique on the background.  I'm not sure if you can see it in the pictures or not, so I tried to take a closer picture of the background.  I LOVE that technique and also added the scorer to my want list also.  I thought it added so much to the card.
Anyways, those are the cards I made last night.  I hope you like them!  :)

My husband and I went to WalMart today because I mentioned a few weeks ago that 'someday' I want a craft area (thinking farther down the road, like when we get a house this Spring) but today he said we could go "look" and see what they had and start on making me a craft area.  I was thrilled!!  We didn't get much, but I had to buy a table and chair, and then also got just a few different totes and plastic holders to hold my stuff.  I'm going to go set it up now, and depending on how far I get maybe I'll take some pictures of it later this afternoon after I'm done.  Tyler and Chad are going out tonight so I'm going to have some time alone to stamp tonight, so I'm excited. 

I hope you're having a great weekend!  I'll be back later today to write more.

Dogs, cards, and flowers... oh my!

Here's a random post.  Ready?....Go.

One of my many favorite things to do is to read.  I love relaxing on a Saturday, sitting on the couch with a soft blanket and a good book.  Oh yeah, and don't forget the two little dogs sitting on my lap.  Heaven forbid you be able to sit down and not have 2 dogs in your lap.  I had my camera nearby, so I was able to snap this (not-so-great) picture of them.  They love to snuggle.  Cute, huh?



I have a good friend, and her name is Stephanie.  She lives in the most beautiful state in the world (Colorado), so I don't get to see her as often as I'd like, but none-the-less, she's a beautiful, wonderful person.  She remembered my birthday this year and sent me this amazing card that I'm keeping around *hoping* I can some-what duplicate once I get that good.  Steph has a natural, amazing talent for stamping, which I totally envy, but that's not the point.  :)  Isn't this card cute?!  Thanks Steph... for the card, and for being my friend, even though I totally don't deserve it.  You can view her blog here: http://www.stephsstampinstuff.blogspot.com/



 Friday was my last day at MurLen.  (The branch of the bank that I've been working at for the past 1.5 yrs).  It was a sad day, because I've gotten to know the girls that work there, and get along with them really well.  Starting tomorrow, I'll be at my new branch.  We open next Monday, so this entire week I'll be setting up, organizing, and hopefully hiring 4 people since as of today, I don't have any staff.  Anyways - for my last day, they all brought in yummy food, gave me a card and gift certificate, and these beautiful flowers.  We also went out for dinner Friday night and had a great time!!
Does anyone know what kind of flowers these are?  I love them... they are different, and the colors are amazing.




Well ladies (and gents?)... that's all for now.  Have a great week!

Diet Dr. Pepper Cake/Cupcakes

If you're anything like me, you'll be extremely skeptical of this recipe, just like I was.  It is called Diet Dr. Pepper Cake, and I made it in form of cupcakes, instead of cake.  For the frosting, I used low-fat cool whip.  These are DELICIOUS.  They are light, fluffy, and moist... and best yet, they are "low-fat", because instead of using oil/eggs/etc in your cake/cupcakes, all you add is the Diet Dr. Pepper.  Take my word for it, these are awesome.  I just randomly tried this recipe and thought if I didn't like them, that I'd throw them away, but instead I took the leftovers to work and all my coworkers loved them also.
Here's the recipe:

- 1 box of white cake mix
- 1 can of Diet Dr. Pepper

 Mix cake mix with Diet Dr. Pepper.  DO NOT add eggs/oil like the box says to.  Mix the 2 ingrediants together and bake according to box directions.  Top the cake/cupcakes with a low-fat frosting or cool whip.

Let me know what you think.  :)

Happy day-after Valentines Day!

Let me be completely honest for a minute.  I sorta hate valentines day.  Not because I'm a big-holiday-hater, but I just think this holiday is so hyped up and crazy, that I sorta hate it.  Let me refer back to a previous post when I stated that my 2 love languages are "Words of Affirmation" and "Quality Time".  Now let me tell you what happened to me yesterday, on Valentines Day.

I had been in a Supervisor Training class all day yesterday and Tuesday, and by the time I got home, I was drained.  I hate learning how to put my employees on corrective action, I hate learning the proper way to fire someone, and I hate learning how many times "this" person can be tardy before "this happens".  I just don't like to think about being a mean boss.  Not only that, but I had made a major mistake on our bank account (which is bad considering I'm in banking), and I was really upset with myself.  Here's what happened, and don't disown me as your friend, promise?  Tyler and I owe on our taxes this year, AND we're trying to save money for buying a house.  So we decided that we would save all of our money and put it into a savings account for the house fund, and now recently I've opened another account for the taxes, so that we don't have to loan from the IRS when we submit our taxes this year.  (I've already done our taxes but haven't submitted them, so that's how I know how much we owe).  Every payperiod, I have brought our checking account to a $1.00 balance, because once I pay all of the bills, any money that is leftover goes to our savings.  Then we get paid, we pay the bills, and I transfer the leftover money to savings.  You get the point.  So earlier this week I made a transfer to our savings and a transfer to our "tax" account, and the same day made a huge payment on our credit card.  Long story short - I didn't account for the transfers I did earlier in the day and paid way too much on the credit card, resulting in 3 overdraft fees.  Let me just say... I have never been overdrawn.  Tyler has never been overdrawn.  We have never been overdrawn since we've been married.  I know, I shouldn't be so hard on myself since these fees were because we were trying to SAVE and TRIPLE our credit card payment, and it's not like they were because we are just frivilous and spend too much money, but I still felt like crap. 

So, long story short, by the time Tyler got off of work, I was not in a good mood.  He made us reservations to go to a Live Jazz Restaurant downtown for valentines, and I told him I didn't want to go.  Then I proceeded to have a "minor" breakdown.  I cried for a good 30 minutes.  Now, before you call me a baby... I can't remember the last time I cried.  I *think* it was the week before Thanksgiving.  So, crying felt good.  And the entire time that I cried, my husband just held me and kept telling me "It's okay, It's okay."  Holy crap - that felt good to cry that much.

All the emotions, stress, and anxiety I have felt in the past 3 months came out in that 30 minutes, and wow... it felt good.  We ended up staying in for the night and had some wine, and I made enchiladas and mexican corn dip.  It was probably one of the best valentines days I've ever had.  Not because my husband spent tons of money on a big gift, or because he took me to a nice, expensive restaurant, (because he didn't do either of those things)... but just because he told me how much he loved me, that everything would be okay, and we spent some quality time together. 

I am so blessed to have such an incredible, supportive husband.

I hope you had a great Valenties day also.

Menu planning = no fun.

One of mine and Tyler's new years resolutions is to only eat out one time per week.  If you know us, this is a huge thing because we love to eat out, and usually by the time I get home from work and the gym, I am in no mood to want to cook a big meal.  But in an attempt to save money before buying a home this Spring/Summer, we are trying really hard to only eat out once a week.  This weekend however we ate out 3 times... whoops.  ;)

Tonight I need to work on my menu for the next 3 weeks, so here's a few things that I have on the list, but if you have anymore ideas or new recipes you'd like to share with me, please feel free to add.  :)  We are definitely up for always trying new things.

• 
  
  Taco puffs (sooo easy but sooo good!)
  
  


• 
  
  Chicken Spaghetti
  
  


• 
  
  Chicken & Dumplings (slow-cooker recipe)
  
  


• 
  
  Spaghetti w/ meat sauce
  
  


• 
  
  Enchiladas
  
  


• 
  
  Cheesey potato soup
  
  


• 
  
  Spiral spaghetti casserole
  
  


• 
  
  Ricotta pasta with sausage (Rachel Ray recipe!  Yum-O!)
  
  


• 
  
  Lasagna... Ty's favorite.
  
  


• 
  
  Ravioli Casserole
  
  


• 
  
  Chili
  
  


• 
  
  And of course, the infamous frozen pizza
  
  

This is just a brief, small idea of what we'll be eating the next couple weeks... same 'ole, same 'ole.

Anyone have any good recipes you'd like to share with me?  :)

I love being creative

Here's a few samples of some cards that I made recently that I love.  You can click on the thumbnail, and see the full picture.  Enjoy!  :)

        

Journal entry - 1.24.08

It's funny how when you pray, God hears you.  I hate the prayers that go something like, "God, help me to understand this."  or "God, show me what I'm doing in my life that isn't pleasing to you."  or even "God, give me direction and a desire to do something different with my life."  I'm pretty sure He hears those prayers, and gladly says, "Comin' right up!!" 

 I have learned so much about myself in the quiet times that I sit and reflect.  I am a selfish person.  (Wow, that's hard to write/type).  I am always looking out for myself.  I want what is going to make ME happy, and I don't always think about how it will affect anyone else.  For instance... how about right now, when I have lost my best friend.  I am a selfish person for wanting this friendship, when I know that I am the only one benefiting from it.  Angie is not a better person because of me.  In fact, she is much happier and better off without me.  But instead of letting her go and wishing her well, I am sad and actually mad that she has moved on, because it's not just her moving on to the next stage in her life, but it's her moving on to the next stage in her life... without me.  I am no longer the focus of her attention.  She has different friends now, and that hurts, but it's the truth and I need to get over it and face it.  Instead of trying to focus my attention on being a better friend to her, and figuring out what our friendship looks like in this stage in our lives, I have spent my time thinking of all the ways that she has hurt me.  How freakin' selfish am I.  I hate myself for who I've allowed myself to become.  I am an entirely different person than I was in highschool/college, but not always for the better.

Another thing that I have realized about myself is that I'm never content.  I have a beautiful, nice townhome, but because it's not a house, or not as big as others, it's not good enough.  I have a stable job, that I am actually starting to enjoy, but because it doesn't pay like I think it should... then it sucks.  I have a husband who is incredible.  He is an amazing provider for us, he is caring, sincere, and is always looking out for me.  But because he doesn't "oooh and ahhh" over everything I do, then he doesn't love me.  (Obviously he does, it's just my crazy mind at work again).  Do you see the pattern here?  I do.  I get what I want; but then I want more.  It's like the term "keeping up with the Jones'", but there are no Jones', it's just me.  Why am I like this and what can I do to change? 

 Another thing I have realized is how much I depend on other people.  I am incapable of not just making simple decisions, but also incapable of feeling good about myself without being told to do so.  My self-image is so completely off.  For example, many of you know how much weight I've lost.  I can honestly say that in my mind, I have hardly lost any weight.  My sister took some pictures of me when I wasn't looking last weekend, and I happened to see them last night while I was bored and looking through Tyler's camera, and I couldn't believe it.  I was shocked.  "That's ME??!!??"  I seriously probably said that at least 10 times over and over again to Tyler.   If you've ever read "The Five Love Languages", you could have probably guessed that my primary love language is Words of Affirmation.  Words are so important to me.  This concept is hard for my husband to grasp... he does not understand WHY he has to tell me repeatedly throughout the week that I'm beautiful, and that he loves me.  He thinks one time every so often should be plenty, but to me, it's not.  Even on the nights that we go out and I spend tons of time trying to look pretty, I don't "feel" pretty until he tells me that I am.  This is a problem.  This has also spread out so that now I don't feel like I'm a good enough friend, sister, or co-worker unless I'm told.  My self-worth is slim to none.  I have always had a low self-esteem, but nothing like this.  It was during small group on Sunday morning that the "Ah-ha" moment set in for me.  One of my girls that I lead (they are 8th graders, remember) said "I hated the way my hair looked for school and I felt so fat, and kept telling myself that I was ugly.  Then I remembered that God created me the way that I am and that He thinks I'm beautiful... how dare I say any different."  Wow, I just learned a lesson from an 8th grader.  How embarassing.  But seriously - yes, words are important, but I shouldn't be so dependant on them.  Add that to my million-page list of things I'm working on. 

 I am living such a pointless life.  I don't want to just exist; I want to thrive.  I want there to be meaning to what I do.  I want to wake up in the mornings and actually feel like there is a reason to get out of bed.  I want to be on-fire for God, permanently.  I want to be important and make a difference in someone's life.  I want someone to say "I am better because of Megan and because she did 'this' for me."  I want a passion for people and to see others succeed in life.  I want to feel happy and careless again.  I want to smile and laugh like a child.  I want to feel and know that a calling on my life actually exists.  I want to feel passionate about something... I want my heart to burn for something, and never die.  I want to learn how to love again, and how to encourage and motivate people.  To be so passionate and in-tune with my maker, that everything I say and do is God-breathed. 

Heavenly Father, I come to you tonight completely broken, empty, and lost.  Thank you for those feelings - I know that means you are working in my heart.  Thank you for instilling a passion in me that I can't even describe.  I am a wreck.  My life feels so meaningless, and I'm so tired of it.  You have designed me for something so much more, and I praise you and thank you for that.  Please give me direction and a continued passion for something bigger and greater.  Forgive me for who I've allowed myself to be.  Forgive me for being selfish and for never feeling content.  I pray for a hedge of protection over my mind, that I would believe that I AM worth something, that there IS a purpose for my life, and that I would never forget that.  Forgive me for making myself feel as if I am worth nothing.  Forgive me for constantly telling myself that I'll never be good enough.  Forgive me for having such a low self-esteem.  I have been designed and created in your image... thank you for that reminder that you made me and love me just the way that I am.  I love you and praise you for who you are and what you're doing in my life.  Amen.

A bunch of mumbo jumbo.

Today is going to be a productive day.  Not only am I going to get grocery shopping and some cleaning done, but I am going to majorly update my blog.  The past few weeks have been a whirlwind, and so many times I have wanted to sit and write to myself, but haven't really had an opportunity to do so until now.  So, here goes nothing.

 I got the job as a Teller Supervisor of the new branch opening the first week of March.  Holy crap, a supervisor.  That means I actually have to hire people.  I have to do reviews, coach my employees if they aren't doing their job correctly, do disciplinary action, and also am able to fire people.  Holy crap.  As excited as I am to not be a banker anymore, suddenly I have realized what kind of responsibility I have taken on, and it has completely stressed me out.    You're telling me that I'm going to be second in command of the entire bank?  Who in their right mind hired me to do that.  Holy holy crap.  :::panic mode setting in::: 

Yesterday we had a scrap day at Christines, and as always, I loved it.  (I'm going to post pictures today of a few recent cards I've made)  It is so relaxing and fun to stamp and make cards with Christine... she is such an amazing human being.  It's so funny how our relationship went from her being a mentor to me, to now she's a close friend.  I can literally tell her about anything, as embarassing or funny as it is, and she is just a friend.  She offers advice, but doesn't put on the "mentor face" and tell me what I did right, or wrong, but just listens.  One of the most soothing things to my ears is "I understand.", or "Me too."  What?!  You can relate to me?!  Wow.  Not only that, but she shares with me things she struggles with.  What an amazing person to share life with.  There were also a few girls there from a small group that Tyler and I used to go to.  Lori, Sara, and Nichole.  They are amazing girls and fun to spend time with.  I got home from stamping and felt a little depressed and mad/upset that we don't go to their small group anymore.  The girls are wonderful and I connect with them very well, but my husband doesn't "click" with the guys in the group, except for Rodney.  If you know Tyler, you know that he isn't the type to go up and introduce himself and make conversation with a complete stranger.  On the other hand, if that complete stranger did that to him though, Tyler would sit and talk with him all day and night.  So, it makes me sad because I think highly of the girls and would love to attend their small group and get close to them, but it's hard to when my husband doesn't like it.  But, I can understand... if our roles were reversed, I would be the same way.  So Tyler and I talked last night and decided to start looking for a small group out of ICCC, our own church.  We've been invited to start attending a couple different groups, but one is for couples with babies (not us), and the other group hasn't officially started yet but is in the works, so once it does we will try it out.  I'm excited... we need fellowship desperately.  Not only do I need girlfriends, but Tyler needs guy friends also.  It's so hard to find young couples that we can relate to... but not only do we want friends, but we NEED friends.  

It's so hard for me trying to figure out what an "adult" life looks like.  Not only just the adult life, but the adult friendships.  I know after you're married there is no such thing as sleepovers anymore, and I know you don't see or talk to your friends everyday either.  But does that mean you talk once a month, once every few months, or once a week?  What is the "correct" amount of time that I should want to spend time with a friend?  For the life of me, I cannot find a happy medium.  Sometimes when I get depressed that I have no one to go to the movies with, or out for a coffee with, I always start thinking about other "older" married ladies.  Do they go out on weekends with friends or with another couple group?  No, not that I know of anyways. Sometimes I hate being grown-up.  To make matters worse, because my sister is one of my only friends and she is young and in college, I am constantly comparing myself to her life and wishing I had half as many friends as her, and wishing I was constantly having to decide who to spend my time with.  (I know, I need to stop.)  Instead, I'm at home, trying to think of someone to call.... with no luck.  I literally feel like I'm stuck inside a 30-something year old's life, but I'm only in my early 20's.  I have a stable job, a husband, a house, 2 dogs... so, this is the life?  This is what people do after they get married?  Let me set the record straight by saying I love being married.  Married life truly is awesome, and I am by NO means saying your life is over after you get married.  I love sharing my life with someone.  I just wish WE (as a couple) had friends to hang out with, and relate to.  No, I'm not talking every night, or even every weekend... I'm talking about once in a while, just having someone to go out for dinner with or someone to just spend some time with.  So with that being said... Tyler and I are currently taking applications for friends.  (hehe, just kidding of course!) 

Well, that is all that I can talk about at this very moment.  I am going to upload some journal entries that I've made over the past couple weeks, just so you know some things that I've been dealing with, and how you can pray for me.  Don't worry, not every post will be depressing like this one was.  :)