Glow.

Love the peaceful glow of a Christmas tree... 

all pictures are straight out of the camera, no editing.

Unfortunately the boys wouldn't sit still long enough to get a good pic of them with the tree... 

Hopefully by next year I'll have a better lens that allows me to use a higher ISO and lower f/stop.

I took our tree down today, so I'm glad I took these last night.

Beautiful Christmas tree... see you next year. 

Christmas.

I am not having the same "whew, we made it through another Christmas" emotions that a lot of other people seem to be having.  Instead, I feel like I'm mourning the loss of a good friend.  I'm SAD Christmas is over and the countdown is on for next year's celebrations.

Life is so much different with kids, and the excitement of holidays is no different.  Christmas had a totally different feeling this year... Jaxon played a huge role in this, but I was filled with such anticipation for the day.  Each morning before even asking for some juice, he asked me to turn the Christmas tree on.  Each day we talked about Jesus' birthday and we talked about opening presents.  And every night, the countdown to Christmas day drew closer.

We are so thankful to be living close enough to our families this year that we were able to celebrate with both of them.  I already recapped our weekend with my family... but I'll gladly say it again, we had a great time.  I love love love every face in these pictures.

Since we knew we'd be gone over the actual Christmas day, we celebrated a few days early with our boys.  "Christmas Eve" we wanted to go see Santa, but after hearing about the 2 hour wait, we saw him from afar instead.  We came home, read the story of Jesus' birth, and opened 1 gift... jammies and a Christmas book.

Our "Christmas morning" was an early one for myself... I was SO stinkin' excited, I was wide awake at 5am.  Are you kidding me?!  I was practically pacing our hallway waiting for the boys to wake up, and when they did, we were ready for them.  A train table (thank you, Craigslist) filled with new trains and tracks awaited Jaxon, and many smaller toys for Cohen.

We hoped to do stockings before the gifts, knowing full-well that if Jaxon saw his train table, nothing else would matter.  He took a peek at his stocking and right away saw the train table.  I will never ever forget that look on his face... thank the Lord we have it on video as well, in case I do.

After the train table, we somehow convinced him to come see what Santa had brought.  Jaxon was hardly interested, but the complete opposite for Cohen.

My husband... oh, my sweet sweet husband... surprised me with a Pandora bracelet.  I have been asking for one for the last couple years, and eventually stopped asking for one because I assumed it would never happen.  A nudge from my friend Andrea probably didn't hurt anything either... ha!

We took a present break, and paused to eat some homemade cinnamon rolls... my yearly Christmas tradition with my boys.  Seriously delicious.

Finally, we opened the remainder of the gifts.  I got the majority of them from Zulily when they ran a Melissa & Doug sale... over $100 worth of quality toys for less than $40.  Unfortunately by this point, Cohen was ready for his morning nap so he was a blubbering mess through the majority of it, and I forgot to take pictures.  But... here are our remains.

Later that day, we headed to Tyler's family's house to spend Christmas weekend with them.  Such an amazing 4 days full of relaxation, games, laughs, delicious cupcakes, afternoon naps, amazing meals, and plenty of gifts to make a person feel abundantly blessed.

All in all, an amazing and perfect Christmas season.

Merry Christmas.

Wonderful Counselor.

Lord of life, Lord of all.

He is the prince of peace...

Mighty God...

Holy One...

Emmanuel.  God with us.

Happy Birthday, Jesus.

Merry Christmas, friends.

The big guy.

There's so many decisions to be made as a parent.  So many, that you don't even realize it until you're in the thick of it and then have to decide which road to take.  Some days, all you can do is close your eyes and pray that what you're doing won't ruin your kids for life.

Parenting is so much more than it appears.

Here's another blog about the role of Santa in a Christian home.  I know, it's all over the blog world, and a discussion that my husband and I have yearly.  Where does Santa belong in our Christmas traditions, if anywhere?  Should we even go down that road with our kids?  What does it look like for our family?

Recently I read a blog where a lady said she believes she is an atheist today because of Santa Clause.  She said she can vividly remember the day when she found out he was not real, and from that moment forward, could not listen or believe another thing out of her parents mouths in regards to what to believe in.  Maybe it's an extreme case, but it's one that has really struck a chord with me.

Growing up, we talked about Santa at Christmas time.  He brought us our stockings each year... yet I never remember "believing" in him hard core.  I never had the "WHAT?! SANTA ISN'T REAL?! moment.  In all of my memories, he was a fictional character.  It was just for fun that we talked about him.  The same goes for my husband, all of his memories as a child of Santa were make-believe.

Ideally, we'd love for it to be the same in our home with our boys.  The big guy that brings gifts to every child in one night and comes down the chimney to eat our cookies is not real, but in some odd way I feel like he can be.  The same way that we tell our boys that they are superhero's, and girls that they are princess'... it's part of the magic of an imagination, and child-like faith.

Blair said it perfectly this morning.  While Jesus' birth will ALWAYS be the forefront of our celebrations and Santa will never be the reason we celebrate, I think somehow we can find a balance between the "fun" of it, but yet the seriousness of the birth of our Savior and WHY we do it.

I heard it perfectly said recently... a Christmas with Santa does not mean a Christmas without Christ.

I'd seriously love to hear your thoughts... how does your family celebrate? How do you find a good balance?  If you have grown adult children, how did you handle this when they were kids?  Or if you're not a parent yet, how do you anticipate handling this when the time comes?

Celebration.

Well, just as expected I was able to snap out of the funk I was stuck in for a little over a week upon arriving at my parents house.  You see, my Mom doesn't give herself enough credit... she is an amazing decorator.  I don't know what it is, but something about being back "home" and seeing the lights on their house, the town village, snowmen everywhere, and the beautiful tree... it just screams Christmas.

We had a great weekend together full of lots of laughs, homemade cinnamon rolls (a tradition of mine that I wanted to "spread" this year), game after game after game including some outdoor kickball, and of course a delicious dinner followed by the reading of scripture and gifts.  My brother's gift to my Mom was restoring their old wedding video from 1981 on a 8mm, so we were able to sit around and watch it late Saturday night.  How fun it was to see my Mom as a bride and my Dad as a groom.

One of the ways I'm different from my siblings is my time clock and how I'm up early and not a fan of staying up late.  After about 10pm, I either turn into a zombie, a giggle-queen, or a total crank... then in the morning I'm typically the first awake, which annoys my siblings to bits and pieces when I'm so bubbly as they roll out of bed at 9am.  All of this to say, visits to my parents house always equal hardly any sleep for myself, but it's always worth it.

Sunday morning after playing keyboard at church, we hit the road and headed back home.  We had our big fancy hot date that night to Trans Siberian Orchestra... and again, it did not disappoint.  Dinner with great friends followed by an AMAZING concert that had us speechless is a sure way to help anyone feel refreshed.  It's been way too long since Tyler and I have been on a date, and it was so fun getting super dressed up and having a night free of toddler breakdowns, poopy diapers, and early bedtimes.

I hope you all had a great weekend and are getting ready for a fun week with family, traditions, and celebrations.

Fog.

Do you ever feel like there's a haze over your eyes... you know, like you're living in a fog?

I'm having an off week and struggling to snap out of out... just in a funk.

Nothing particular wrong, and seriously if one more person asks if I'm pregnant... ugh.  The answer is still no.

Maybe it's the lack of sleep, maybe it's the lack of quiet times I've had lately, or maybe it's just the lack of gratefulness... to look around and see beauty and joy in every day things.  Especially in this amazing season, how can you be anything but happy?  I don't know either.

I am hoping a weekend at my parents house followed by a fancy date with my favorite man (to see Trans Siberian Orchestra...!!!) will shift me back to reality.

Someone tell me something good happening in your life so I can rejoice with you!

Greetings.

i really wish i could have sent each of you an actual Christmas card... but close your eyes, pretend you're at your mailbox, and open!

merry christmas to your family... and thanks for reading my blog.

{linking up with faith}

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

It's official.  I need another few days to recover from the last few days!

Friday night we kicked off the weekend by going to the Plaza to see the Christmas lights.  This is our 5th Christmas season living in KC and have never gone... I know I know, I hear about it all the time!  So with a son who LOVES, and I repeat LOVES "Kiss-mas yites", we knew this year we had to go.  Unfortunately he was not feeling so great, so he dozed in and out of it... so Tyler and I just pretended there were no kids in the back seat (instead of sleeping kids), and pretended we were on a date.  And what a fun date it was.

Saturday my plans went down the toilet when my husband kindly told me that morning he needed to work.  I somehow convinced him to go in after my 4 errands were ran, and he agreed... thank you Jesus for running errands in peace.  When I got home, the baking marathon began!  I had 6 dozen cookies to make... 3 different kinds (2 dozen each).

Later that night, I took a trip down memory lane as I watched Jaxon help his Daddy load/unload firewood.

Sunday, we never stopped going going going.  Worship team, church, Christmas dinner at church, baking the last cookies, wrapping gifts, making an appetizer... and we were headed out the door to the Cookie Swap!

It was a blast and as you can see I came home with enough cookies to feed an army... which is a good thing since we'll be taking them to my parents for our family Christmas next weekend.  My sweet friend Andrea did an amazing job hosting!

So, today I'm thankful for friendship.  Christmas parties.  And for busy weekends... because it means you have people who want to spend time with you.  And for that, I'm grateful!

Have a happy week!

Survival guide.

I've heard a lot of marriage advice over the last 6 1/2 years Tyler and I have been married.  

Some of my favorite's that stick out above the others...

Every single day you must make the choice to love your spouse with 100% of you -- no matter what you receive in return.


Never let the word divorce cross your lips... it is never an option, so why make the threat.


Spend time apart every once in a while.  As much as you love your spouse, a girls night or evening alone at a coffee shop will do wonders for your marriage!


Eat together + pray together = stay together.

What about you -- is there any advice you've received that you'll never forget?

Reflection.

It's always the tough days that I reflect back on and wish I could do over.  So many times I realize it was "tough" because of my own doing... whether that was my lack of patience, lack of joy, lack of contentment, lack of gentleness.  You know what I mean?  It's very rare that a tough day is for any other reason, other than something inside of me.  My boys act the same day in and day out, with an occasional 'off' day... it's me that chooses my attitude, it's me that chooses my response. 

Tonight as I tucked the boys in, I let out a big sigh of relief.  Thankful this day is over, but also thankful I have another chance tomorrow.  To be better, to be more involved, to be even more loving.

Then I look at pictures like these, and videos like this, and almost wish I could go wake them up to play ...

... almost.  ;) 

I have not stopped giving thanks for you, 

remembering you in my prayers.

Ephesians 1:16

Awareness of His presence.

I am with you in all that you do, even in the most menial task. I am always aware of you, concerned with every detail of your life. Nothing escapes My notice—not even the number of hairs on your head. However, your awareness of My Presence falters and flickers; as a result, your life experience feels fragmented. When your focus is broad enough to include Me in your thoughts, you feel safe and complete. When your perception narrows so that problems or details fill your consciousness, you feel empty and incomplete.

Learn to look steadily at Me in all your moments and all your circumstances. Though the world is unstable and in flux, you can experience continuity through your uninterrupted awareness of My Presence. Fix your gaze on what is unseen, even as the visible world parades before your eyes.

~ ~ ~

“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”
—Matthew 10:29–31

By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the king’s anger; he persevered because he saw him who is invisible.
—Hebrews 11:27

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
—2 Corinthians 4:18

{Jesus Calling by Sarah Young, devotion for Dec 7}

First snow.

today is quite possibly one of my favorite days of the year.... the first snow of the season!

it was all fun and games at first... cohen eating snow, jaxon making snow balls and loving seeing his trail of footprints... 

however, it went sour pretty quickly.

momma was apparently the only one having fun. 

so we headed inside... unfortunately the chaos didn't end.

safe from that evil snow...

hot chocolate and snuggles make everything all better.

i mean, seriously? who doesn't like snow!? 

hopefully they'll grow into it... or else i guess i'll be outside playing by myself this winter. 

:)

Xander.

Remember, this kind of thing is totally on my heart lately.

Then I stumbled upon this little guy's picture, and a fundraising opportunity.

There's a giveaway as well, but seriously --  I just want to spread the word about the little guy.  If you feel led, even $1 would help.

And, on that note I should go to bed before I start reading too many of these kinds of stories ...the ones that make my heart feel like it could beat outside of my chest thinking about the 143 million orphans in this world.

Just FYI.

If you missed out on the Plum District voucher for an Erin Condren planner, here's another chance!

https://doodledeals.com/r/ae9ba43fb1/1408

Doodle Deals has a $50 voucher to ErinCondren.com for just $25.

If you need a reminder of my love affair with a planner, you can see it here.

have a happy weekend! 

On my heart.

When I think about Christmas, I think about past years.  Especially as a child, my family cherished the season.  I can still sing you the songs that were played each year on a CD while setting up the tree... I can tell you the names of the nursing homes we visited... I can tell you the trips we took to see family... I can even remember a handful of the gifts I received.  I remember my Grandma being there with us, how much she loved to open any gift that had a cardinal on them, I can still see her smile.  I remember the years my Grandma Nancy was there, how her presence made the holiday even more special.  I remember going to bed each night filled with excitement, and Christmas morning waking up to stockings full of gifts... loving every minute.  This was my family.  These are my memories.  Some of these traditions I hope to pass on to my kids the older they get. 

Today my heart is heavy thinking about all of the children, throughout the United States and beyond, who will not experience any of that.  They are orphans, they are waiting for a forever family.  Maybe they are your neighbors, who live in a broken and abusive home.  They are innocent kids, all over the world, needing love.  Needing a smile, craving a hug.  They need a reminder of what Christmas is all about.  Can you pause for a moment and try to even imagine what it would feel like to not have a family to celebrate with... isn't that half the beauty of Christmas? 

Maybe it was my friend Grace's post that got me emotional.  Her paragraph that said "Pray for all the orphans, that are waiting to be loved and part of something that they don't know, have not experienced, something that we take for granted...the love of a family!" -- it hit me a little too close to home.

I hear a lot of people talk about adoption, and Tyler and I have talked and began to pray about it as well.  There's a startling statistic that talks about how 30% of people talk about adopting, and yet only 2% take the first steps in doing something about it. {source}  My mood today is somber.  Something needs to happen, I'm just not sure what it is yet. 

I have no idea what this means for me or my family.  Maybe my role is just to pray for orphans.  Maybe my role is to support people in prayer and financially who are adopting.  Maybe this is the Lord's way of asking us to sponsor a child.  Maybe someday, we will add another member to our family through adoption.  

I have no idea what is going on in my heart ... but I can't deny that it's something.  

Last night.

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree:  

the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.  

~Burton Hillis