Quality Time.

You know that "I need a date night soon before I lose my mind" feeling we sometimes get?

I've been feeling that way for months now and have been dropping super subtle (but not subtle at all) hints to Tyler. Usually when we go on dates it's because I've taken care of all the details - but I really wanted him to this time around.

Last night he called around 5pm and asked if I was ready to go.

I almost spit out my Coke Zero and my initial reaction was "but...nooo!" Sorry Tyler, my type-A personality usually has a hard time adjusting to last minute plans.

He had already lined up a sitter and planned a date full of all my favorite things. We ate at my favorite restaurant (Olive Garden), went Christmas shopping at my favorite store (Target), and sat and talked for about an hour at my favorite coffee shop (Starbees, of course).

Consider my love tank FULL.

Thank you Mr. Keith for loving me like no one else knows how. You are my favorite!

Safe in his arms.

There's something about being in this mans arms that I love.

I find so much comfort there.

When his strong arms are wrapped around me, I feel safe… like no matter what is happening in the world or in our lives, I am protected.

Last night it was our turn at small group to share our testimonies. Some of the basics of where we're from, what we like to do, and then the harder questions of times we've struggled in our walks with God and what He's teaching us.

My husband has an amazing story and as tears welled up in his eyes through multiple parts of it, I felt nothing but pride.  For the way he has overcome it all, the strength he has, and his dedication and commitment he gives to our family.

I know this is turning into a love fest, but there are times that I am simply overcome with love for him.  I am so grateful to be his wife.

These feelings are also being stirred up because I'm about to say goodbye to him as he leaves at 4am tomorrow morning for a work trip, and then again next week for a guys trip to VEGAS!  As much as I want to pout that I am being left behind with the kiddos, I honestly am excited for him.  He gets to be with my brothers and Dad for a few days, and get away from the everyday stresses of work.

We are also headed to Iowa this weekend to celebrate an early Thanksgiving with his extended family, whom I love!

Lots of mushiness, yes.  But lots of real feelings as well.

Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

1 Cor 13:13

Weekend away.

This past weekend, Tyler and I drove 6 hours north to Okoboji, where his best friend from childhood was getting married.

We packed and loaded the car within an hour...
We had peace and quiet and actual CONVERSATIONS (and naps)...
We stayed out late and slept in...
We rode roller coasters...

We didn't have any fun at all.  :)

Have I mentioned how thankful I am for parents that actually WANT to spend time with their grand babies?  As we were walking out the door to leave, I thanked my Mom for staying with them and she replied, "no... thank YOU!"

I love it so much.

Adam (the groom) has been Tyler's best friend since 5th grade, so being back on their old stomping grounds in Okoboji was tons of fun, and I lost count of the hilarious stories they told about the trouble they got in during their summers there.

On top of Tyler being a groomsmen, I was also asked to be their photographer, which was great!  For 6 summers straight, Adam worked the roller coaster at Arnold's Park, so he had this idea for a wedding party shot.  They would stop the roller coaster underneath this sign, and I would stand below to take the picture... sounds easy enough.  What he failed to mention to me, was how I would have to climb the cat walk next to the roller coaster (way up high), then step ACROSS the tracks, in order to get the shot.

It was worth it.  But if you know me at all, you know this was a HUUUGE stretch for me... I am terrified of heights!

It was a very unique wedding... the romantic ceremony on a boat, this roller coaster shot, and a lot of fun details throughout.  Except for this one groomsmen who kept hitting on me throughout the day..... ;)

The weekend went by lightning quick, but we loved every second away, as well as the hugs and kisses we got from the boys as we pulled in the driveway Sunday evening.

"MOMMMMYYYYYY!!!  DADDDDDYYYYY!!!  WE MISSED YOU!"... it never gets old.

Little blessings.

((inspired by my Sister's recent gratitude post))

First and foremost, for grace.  I do not deserve the way I am loved by the Lord and by my boys.  I can go to bed feeling like I've completely failed that day, yet each morning brings consistent reminders of His faithfulness and love for me. 

For one on one time while Jaxon was away for his first sleepover.  I was reminded how easy it was to "just" have one child... ha! 

For peace and quiet, even if it's for a few minutes.  I'll take what I can get these days! 

For early morning snuggles with this boy.  His cheeks are so incredibly soft and kissable, I hope that never goes away. 

For the beautiful days here and there, though few and far between lately!

For my role as Wife and Mom.   

For the realization of how precious life really is.  My Uncle went into full cardiac arrest this week and was put into a medically induced coma for 2 days.  He is now awake, though still intubated, but can respond to yes/no questions and is clearly not a fan of a tube being down his throat.  Between that and the Boston Marathon bombing... life is precious.  

For surprise and unexpected Family Days... and Lego Land.  :)  I am grateful for Tyler's boss who values family and told him to take a day off after being away in Colorado for 10 days.  Our day together was needed and SO enjoyed.  

For beautiful sunrises and the chance to spend a week with a friend who needed me.  It meant being away from my husband for another 7 days, but I'm thankful that I was able to go and be there when I was wanted and needed. 

For the little things... the way Cohen makes a ginormous mess under any table we eat at.  I know it won't be this way forever, and when he's 18 and eats with a fork (hopefully), I will look back and smile.  For now, I just leave an extra tip. 

For the absolutely great memories I was flooded with while driving by my old childhood home.  I am so thankful for every part of my story, it makes me who I am today. 

For coffee shops.  I love how recharged I feel when I leave.

For sunshine and boys toys.  His excitement about life is contagious. 

For another chance at a family day, this time spending it with our close friends.  This was our last "hoorah" with them as they moved away last week.  This transition has been so hard for me, it is the first time I've been "left behind".  When you move 7 times in 6 years, you're always the one leaving, so this is all new to me.  I trust that the Lord will once again prove himself faithful in bringing me another person to share my day to day life with, but for now I am just reminding myself how incredibly blessed I am to have Andrea and the amazing friendship we share.  Now we simply share it from 4 hours apart.

(wiping away my tears)  

For my sexy man husband.  I love this guy, and being away from him so much this month has only amplified my appreciation for him. 

For our church.  I have been swamped with responsibilities here lately, between helping design our new logo and website, photographing the staff, Women's Ministry planning, and so much more... yet I leave every time feeling fulfilled.  Work in the church is hard, and chaotic at times, but so rewarding.

For the unique child he is.  3 hats and a horse... why not!? 

For the way I can still hear him giggling underneath that cart.  It's obviously the best way to ride around Mommy's favorite red store! 

Thank you, Jesus, for my little blessings.

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good!

  His faithful love endures forever.

Psalm 107:1

It's ok.

Tyler has been on a work trip to Colorado for the last 9 days.  And in those last 9 days, I've decided that...

It's ok to travel to your Mom's house and spend 3 days there.  Her house is a safe place.

It's ok to not cook while your husband is gone.  Your kids eat mac 'n cheese and chicken nuggets so much better than the gourmet stuff anyway.

It's ok to DEMAND alone time.  I don't care whether or not Jaxon is napping in his room, but quiet time is a must.

It's ok to not have a clean house.  There's no one to impress, and I'll get to it when I'm done with whatever it is I'm doing.



It's definitely ok to not make the bed.  I'm the only one sleeping in it anyways.

It's ok to help myself to a second cup of coffee, even if it's at 4pm.  Those evening hours are the worst and longest, you know.

It's ok to have dinner with the same friends three nights in nine days.  These friends means so much to me, I am so thankful for the way they have loved on me and the boys recently.

It's ok to enjoy having the TV all to yourself after the kids bedtime.

It's ok to think about giving your dog up for doggie adoption because she won't listen and drives you crazy.  Instead of making a drastic mistake, it's ok for her to spend a lot of time in her kennel instead.

It's ok to not feel guilty about letting your kids play alone.  I've decided I'm done beating myself up about this.  My Mom did not sit on the floor and play with me 24 hours a day and I never ever ever remember feeling like she didn't love me.

It's ok to take advantage of the full 2 hour time limit on childcare at the gym.  Even if it means sitting alone in the hallway for 20 minutes.

It's ok to let your child dress himself, even if the pants are backwards and the shirt is a day old.  It's less laundry for you anyway.  And to let them break the rule "just this once" and jump from couch to couch.  Their Batman capes help them fly, after all!

Husband will hopefully be home in the next couple days.

It will all be ok.

My funny Valentine(s).

Keeping up with my tradition of buying Valentines shirts after they go on clearance, and taking some much needed updated pictures of the boys...

Poor guy has NO personality... can't you tell?  :)

Usually Cohen is the better picture-taker, but I was able to catch quite a bit of ... ahem... personality from Jaxon yesterday.  I love it.

(see last years pictures here)

Our teens had a fundraiser at church last night, 3 hours of childcare for $15 for both boys.  We debated for a while what to do and joked that dropping them off and just coming back home for a quiet evening sounded pretty amazing.

We ended up celebrating Valentines in true Kansas City form... Oklahoma Joe's BBQ.  Add trying this restaurant to your bucket list right now... so yum!!

Tyler had some go-carts planned for afterwards, but we changed our mind after seeing the outrageous prices, so then he suggested Target + Starbucks... I wasn't in the mood for either.  I know, really weird.  I told him I didn't care what we did at that point, so he chose Best Buy.

BBQ + Best Buy, Valentines 2013.

From the bottom of my heart, I really didn't care.  It's always good to enjoy some one-on-one time with my Man.  Conversations that aren't fueled by "take a bite and then you can get down", "get your feet off the table", and "STOP teasing your brother".

I love his dimples.

He left about an hour ago to go to Colorado for the weekend.  One of his good buddies from college (that he lived with for a long time) is getting married, and it originally started as a family vacation, but he wasn't able to get as much time off from work as we wanted.  I wasn't about to drive 8 hours with the boys (plus hotel cost, meals, etc) just to spend 1 day there.  Someone tell me you would have made the same decision so I can stop feeling guilty about not going.

Have a happy weekend!  And pray for my sanity, if you think of it.  :)

Hello... weeks later.

Hey there.

Remember when I used to blog multiple times a week?

Yeah, me too.  Life happens.

I feel this overwhelming pressure to blog but with the chaos that abounds in our home right now, I don't know where to begin.  I start to wonder how much I should share, and how much we should just keep to ourselves, so I figured I'll just start writing and see what happens.

:)

I'm afraid instagram has started to replace my blog, which is sad since I know years from now I will regret that.  I love looking through old posts, so many of them are ridiculous and I was such a dork (and probably always will be), but that was life then.  And this is life now... and I still want to document it.

So here we go, what's been happening in our neck of the woods?

Of course, day to day life with the boys... there's never a dull moment!
We've enjoyed a few beautiful "park days"... and then the next day it snows.  Crazy Kansas.
A few lazy days here and there as well.
Playdates with friends!
The flu hit Jaxon, and Praise the good Lord the rest of us have avoided it... knockonwood.
I celebrated my 27th birthday with friends, flowers, and a World Market + dinner date.  Perfection.

Cohen "graduated" from speech therapy... hooray!
Family night is always my favorite.
Coffee with my sweet husband is, too.
Family came to town to celebrate Jaxon's 4th birthday.
Had dinner with my BFF ... so much laughter!  I am so grateful for 15 years of friendship.

These boys are my life, can you tell?  :)
I love how I feel after a great workout.
I also love Erin Condren and her cute iPhone cases.
I don't love still not sleeping through the night.  I can't wait for Jaxon's 4 year old wellness appointment to talk to our pediatrician and pick her brain.

I feel so behind on the blog world that I have literally been avoiding my computer.  But then I see my amazingly cute new computer chair, and have a seat.  Try and tackle the 200+ unread blog posts in Google Reader.

So much cuteness inside World Market.  I'd describe it as a mix between Pottery Barn and Anthro, but way more reasonable prices.  Ahh, to win the lottery... :)

To close out the most random post in history, here's a glimpse at what's going on with us.

We are in prayer about a couple major decisions, and really would ask that you join us as well, if you think about it.  We've really been seeking the Lord the last few weeks and just as we felt an answer and one door open, a second door opened as well.  We've been struggling with which one is the "right" door and of course trying to decide which is best for our family.

I find so much peace knowing the Lord has our best interests at heart.  I believe He will continue to open and close doors, guiding us where He wants us to be permanently.  I also believe He will use us to advance His kingdom no matter which door we choose.

We just need prayer, and lots of it.  At times I start really freaking out about it, and almost feel like I'm having panic attacks.  Then I take a breather and realize it's because I'm not fully trusting, instead I am trying to figure it out on my own.  Never once have we ever walked alone - He is faithful.

You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You.

Isaiah 26:3

After sharing our situation with one of my best friends, her reply was "I feel like amazing things are on the horizon for you guys, I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store in the next couple months."

I am clinging to that hope and join her in the excitement of seeing whats to come for our family.

In other news, I can't believe we have a four year old.  Angry Birds birthday party coming to the blog soon.

So much craziness in one post, but hopefully we'll be back to regular scheduled programming soon.  Thanks for hanging in there with me.

The binky... and babies.

Sunday morning at 4am, Tyler and I were both awake roaming the entire house looking for a binky for our screaming 2 year old.  Extremely frustrated by the time we finally found one, we decided in that very moment that Cohen was no longer getting a binky.

Nap time rolled around, and per his usual routine, little guy asked for his "bee-bee".  I know there's a lot of ways out there to get your child off of his pacifier, but for both of my boys, I simply just told them the binky was gone.  I explained he was a big boy now, and there were no more binky's... after a little bit of protest, he asked me to rock him to sleep and I gladly obliged.

I'd be lying to you if I said I didn't cry as he fell asleep in my arms, without a pacifier.  27 months have flown by in the blink of an eye and I can't believe my youngest child has outgrown another significant "baby" item.

I was already having an emotional day, but the reality of not having any more babies in the house that need a pacifier really started to set in.  I'm fairly confident I might even feel the same way after we begin potty training and I change the last diaper.

And since we're on the subject and I now feel like there's an elephant in the room, let's chat.

When I was pregnant with Jaxon, I wanted a girl.  When I was pregnant with Cohen, I wanted a girl.  The Lord has a sense of humor giving me two boys.

I feel silly even giving this disclaimer, but I can see how some people would read into this the wrong way, so I'll say it anyway.  Of course I wouldn't trade my two boys for girls, of course I love my two boys with all of my heart, and at this point I wouldn't have it any other way.

But, undeniably so, I still want a girl.  Not for the bows and polka dots and cute outfits, but for the adult Mom & Daughter relationship.  The one that I have with my Mom, where we chat multiple times a week on the phone and she's the first person I call when I have something exciting or sad to share.  I want that relationship with a daughter.  I don't always want to be the Mom-in-law, and I don't want to be the mother of the groom and never the mother of the bride... I want that wedding dress shopping, daughter having babies and calling me for advice kind-of relationship.

However, at this point, my husband is not on the same page.  Deep down, I'd like to think that if money wasn't an issue, he'd be much more open to having more kids.  But the reality is, money IS an issue, babies are A LOT of work, kids are expensive, and chances are we'd end up with another boy.  :)

We have had multiple conversations about it recently, because even if I were to get pregnant TODAY, the baby and Cohen would be 3 years apart.  And then you have to wonder if our third child would feel left out, since Jaxon and Cohen are so close in age.  And we're not having 4 kids.

So many things to take into consideration, but as of right now, my husband is done and I am not.  We end each of our baby conversations with "let's continue to pray about it", fully believing the Lord will change one of our hearts.

Either I will find complete peace in our family of four, boy mom status, or the mud will be removed from Tyler's eyes to see the light and he'll change his mind.  Ha!

In all reality, I can see myself living a perfectly happy life with the family we have now.  Most days, I am seriously content with my sweet little family.  I will continue to trust the Lord for healthy and deep relationships with my boys, and if I can be honest with you, the thought of being outnumbered scares me quite a bit.

There's still so much to be decided, and I find complete comfort knowing I don't have to have it all figured out... as much as I'd like to.  :)

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;

    you formed me in my mother’s womb.

I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!

    Body and soul, I am marvelously made!

    I worship in adoration—what a creation!

You know me inside and out,

    you know every bone in my body;

You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,

    how I was sculpted from nothing into something.

Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;

    all the stages of my life were spread out before you,

The days of my life all prepared

    before I’d even lived one day.

Psalm 139:16 (msg)

Tidbits.

- I don't know who invented Daylight Savings Time, but I am 110% against it this year.  Not only does it jack with the boys' schedules, but I feel like it has put me out of whack as well.  Not to mention it makes running impossible, unless I want to run in the dark, which I won't.  Which means running on the treadmill.  Which I hate.  AND it's pitch dark at 5:15 when Tyler gets home.  Ugh.

- Whoops, sorry to start on a negative note.  Who is excited for the Election results tonight?!  This girl!  I feel so honored, so thankful, so privileged to have a voice and the freedom to vote.  I am so confident that our God is BIGGER than any candidate, and has complete control no matter the results.  I'm just ready for all the political garbage to be over!

- Tyler and I went on an unexpected date Friday night.  Sushi and to a coffee shop to play a board game.  Seriously my IDEAL date.  Coffee, games, and the man I love.  So perfect.

- Seriously, sometimes my OCD side just cannot handle the way kids play with toys.  Why can't we just sit and play with ONE toy at a time, and instead we have to dump ALLLL of them out.  And some days I really just want to throw away every single toy we have.
But then there's this crazy side of me:: I love to clean up our playroom.  Putting all of the toys in a basket, sorting them, and putting them where they belong makes me happy.  Until it needs done again 10 minutes later.

- I still haven't quite wrapped my head around having a 2 year old.  My littlest child is 2.  It feels weird to not have anyone younger than 2 in our house.  This probably makes no sense to anyone else but me, but I just haven't quite wrapped my mind around it yet.  Did I tell you we ate at T-Rex the night of Cohen's birthday party and my boys were freaked out the entire time?  We just went there a few months ago and they both LOVED it, and then we go on Cohen's birthday and they are scared.  Of course it works out that way!

- Lots of exciting things happening in my role at church lately and I'm so excited about what God has laid on my heart.  Nothing I can share yet... but I will soon.  :)

- The last 5 weekends have been spent shooting weddings, so to say I am excited for a break this weekend is an understatement!  (Leah, I have no idea how you did it all.summer.long!)  My parents are coming to town, and my Dad, brother, and I are running a 10k!  I am ready for it to be over so I can stop worrying about not being able to run it.  :)

- Did you enter my giveaway yet?  $50 off your Christmas cards?  Do it!

- I am "on call" the next couple weeks for an upcoming birth (for photography), and I am so excited!  I'm a little freaked out it will happen in the middle of the night and I won't hear my phone ring, but I've been cranking my phone up to full volume so I'm fairly certain it won't be a problem.  I should probably be more worried about waking up my entire household when my ringer does go off.

- I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS!!!!  I wish I could set up my Christmas tree tomorrow.

Ok, this is a totally random and ridiculous post, obviously there's not much going on in our neck of the woods.  I should go start dinner... doesn't it feel like that's all we do?

Cook, clean...pick up the toyroom... repeat.