The little guy.

He's here!

Cohen Michael Keith made his grand debut at 7:59am on October 29th.

He was 7 lbs, 1 oz and 19 1/2 inches long.

We are absolutely smitten over him and Jaxon just stares at him and simply says "baby"... today he wanted to hold Cohen every chance he got. He lays his head on him and gives him kisses constantly.

Love love love.

My recovery isn't going as smoothly as my first time around, so I appreciate any thoughts & prayers you can send my way.

Cohen, on the other hand, got a 9.9 on his apgar (out of 10) and is breastfeeding like he's been doing it for years. He's amazing.

Be back soon.

{soon = as soon as a new mommy of 2 under 2 possibly can}

Ramblings.

Today's my last day one-on-one with Jaxon. {he's sleeping right now... hence the reason for this post} Tomorrow my Mom and Grandma will be flying in, which I'm crazy excited about. So today is it ... the last time I woke up because of just him, the last time we had breakfast and lunch alone, the last time we went to Toddler Time at the library alone, the last time we went on a walk alone... and the day is only half over, so there will be many more "lasts" today.

I heard a quote about love the other day... I can't remember whose blog it was on, and if these were the exact words, but it went something like this:

‎"The thing about love – it’s expansive. Finding more people to love does not take love away from those you already love."

It was a good reminder for me. That no matter who else in my life I find to love, including the boy who will make his appearance in 2 days... my love for the people that I already love will never change. My love for Jaxon won't diminish. My love for Tyler won't grow weak. My love for my family and friends won't change. It's just another person that God has blessed me with, and for that I'm so thankful.

It reminds me of something my cousin told me, when I first found out I was pregnant. She said to me "Right now, you love Jaxon with 100% of your heart. In your mind, you think once the baby comes that you'll love Jaxon with 80%, and the new baby with 20%. But you're wrong... God will give you another 100%. You will still love Jaxon with 100% of you, and suddenly you have another 100% to give to the new baby. You'll see..." I have never forgotten that... so thank you, Hollie.

As sad as I am for this chapter of my life to end {one-on-one time with Jaxon}, I am also excited for a new chapter to begin. My life will be flipped upside-down and most days I will probably be in tears by bedtime, but I know it will be filled with love. I know, without a doubt, that I will love every second. Because it's my life, and these are the boys that I've been blessed with.

On a less sappy note... here's some fun pictures from my iPhone this past week. {hence the crappy quality...sorry}

Sitting in a bucket ... hey, whatever is comfortable...

I have no idea where he learned this, but just this past week Jaxon puts things up to his face, like a mustache, and screams "HAHA!" ... it had me in tears one day from laughing so hard.

Doesn't quite understand that this is for the baby, not for him... he uses it as a recliner, when it's not supposed to recline. :)

Sitting and playing in the big box of clothes we got from Gma Nancy... again, wherever's comfortable...

Giving kisses to his Giraffe... all the sudden he is attached to this giraffe and his teddy bear. He has to have both at naps and gives them kisses and hugs before falling asleep {of course I'm watching this from the monitor... haha!}

Two peas in a pod... Daddy and Jax.

I am not sure I'll be back before the baby arrives, but I will definitely blog from the hospital and let you all know he's here. Thanks for the prayers... as the day approaches I am getting more and more nervous about the surgery itself... being in a new hospital with a new doctor and nurses and my HATE for needles gives me some anxiety when I think about it too much. But I am confident everything will be fine and next time you "see" me, I'll be a mom of two!

Finally, be strengthened by the LORD and by His vast strength.

Ephesians 6:10

Progress, take three.

I just got an email from our realtor back in KC. Our buyer just backed out of our contract. Oh wait, you didn't know our house is still for sale in KC? Yes, it is. This buyer backed out for no good reason, and right now I'm super angry about it. For once, it's not even Wells Fargo's fault... just the buyer. Seriously, maybe the third contract we get on the house will actually go through. Third times a charm...? Sigh... so so so frustrating.

Anyway, trying to change the subject so it doesn't ruin my entire day ... I'm here to report on how close I am to being ready for the baby to get here. Here's my updated to-do list:

• Sort through Jaxon's old newborn/0-3 month clothes, cry because half of them are fleece and it will be 70+ degrees when this baby comes, and put them away.
• Buy a dresser, to put the above mentioned clothes away.
• Buy short sleeved clothes / light fabric long sleeves {newborn and 0-3 months} to replace the above mentioned fleece clothes that he won't be able to wear. {thanks, texas!}
• Get out the "baby stuff" and put it all away / set it up. {Boppy, baby tub, swing, bouncer, etc.}
• Buy newborn diapers. Buy any diapers. Just buy diapers. {this one seriously put me in a panic a couple weeks ago when I realized I haven't bought a.n.y.}
• Buy a baby book. Easy enough, you would think, but I can't find any. Any. Thanks Nana!
• Buy month to month stickers, to take pics on each "month birthday"
• Buy a co-sleeper.
• Buy a diaper bag.
• Buy crib bedding. {Jaxon will use his crib bedding on his new toddler bed, once he moves to his toddler bed, that is.}

You'll notice that some of my "to-do's" are only half done. Like, I did sort through all of Jaxon's clothes {and cried the entire time} but I don't have a dresser here yet, so I can't put them away. Tyler's parents graciously offered to bring an extra dresser they have sitting around their house that they aren't using to give to us when they come. So once they arrive and we get it set up, I can cross that one off my to-do list too. The other thing that's half done is the task of getting out all of the baby things and setting them up ... they are all out of storage, but I need to clean and sanitize them, and set them up. And install the car seat.

Oh, did I mention my husband is working every day up until the baby comes for the next week? He switched around his schedule so that he could have more time to be with me/us after the baby is born, which I appreciate. So I'm trying to remember that as I sit alone each day for the 13 hours he's gone... at least he comes home at night which is better than a few months ago when we were living 11 hours apart. {reality check!}

Still looking for a bassinet or co-sleeper... yeah, I'm a week away from d-day and still have no place for the baby to sleep... no biggie......

The only other thing that I need to do, that's not on my list, is pack my bags. Pack my hospital bag, and the diaper bag. I need to google the list of things to bring, I can't think of anything besides remembering newborn binky's. What can I say... mom of the year, right here ;) I'll do it one of these days ...

I guess I'm in a procrastinating kind of mood today.

One week from today my Mom and Grandma will be flying in! I can't wait!

And just because a post without pictures is boring...

I got 2 of these stools/chairs for our kitchen table off Craigslist yesterday. The guy paid $210 for them each, and I got them both for $75.

Score!

Tidbits.

- Sorry about the lack of posting ... Jaxon got a nasty cold last week, gave it to Tyler on Saturday and Sunday, and then of course I've had it ever since. I don't know what it is about Waco, but there's some kind of nasty virus going around constantly, and Jaxon is always the first to pick it up, either at library time or maybe in the nursery. I started giving him kids vitamins today... what else can I do?

- I am praying praying praying that we are all well by next Friday when Baby #2 makes his debut... honestly I can't imagine coughing and sneezing like I am now with a c-section incision. I remember the first time I sneezed after I had Jaxon, and seriously bawled. It hurt SO bad. This cold is seriously kicking my butt so I am praying for relief.

- Sunday we went to a pumpkin patch about 20 minutes outside of Waco. We had a blast, and went early enough in the day that it wasn't too hot. Here's a couple of my favorite pictures from the day:

- Sunday night we checked out a small group from church. We are really happy with the church we've been going to ... it is a non-denominational congregation and seriously, every week I've been I have walked away having learned something new. The pastor is SO good... and the worship is good as well. Anyway, we finally got enough courage to email one of the small groups and ask if we could come check it out, and we're so glad we did! The girls in the group were super super friendly and easy to talk to, and I heard Tyler chatting away with the guys a lot too. We both left feeling really refreshed and encouraged, so I am excited to go again this coming Sunday.

- My to do list before the baby comes is slowly dwindling down ... yet I still feel so overwhelmed. I wish some family could come and spend time with me for a few days before the baby comes to help me, or at least distract Jaxon while I do stuff. I wish I could quit wishing for things that can't happen. Haha.

- Tyler and I have been hanging out with a couple that we met at his company picnic about a month ago... they have a 3 year old boy and a 3 month old girl. Tyler and the guy work together, so the wife (Holly) and I have been hanging out about once a week for a play date or whatever, and then we have been getting together all together with the guys on one of their days off. They are a fun couple and just moved here also from Seattle. Anyway, she invited us over on Monday for a Pumpkin Carving party. Funny random fact about me... I've never carved a pumpkin before. Yeah, whatever, maybe it's weird. We had chili, homemade corn bread, pumpkin cookies, and pumpkin cheesecake dip. Here's the pumpkins Tyler and I carved:

Mine - it's a flower design in case you couldn't tell :)

Tyler's - haha!

The back of Tyler's ... is the K for our last name, or for the baby's first name?? Hmmm

- Tyler got a speeding ticket on Saturday morning on his way to work. He was going 44 in a 30... which sounds like he was being a crazy driver, but it was on a 4-way highway and honestly the next day he showed me where it was, and while we were driving 30 mph, people were honking at us and tailgating us really bad. It's a weird area and I'm not sure why the speed limit is so low... although I'm not trying to make excuses for him. When he got home and I was looking at the ticket, I realized they wrote his name wrong, which happens to him frequently. He got excited because he thought that he heard somewhere that if your name is wrong, the ticket is void. Tuesday he went to the courthouse to pay for the ticket and face the judge, and the judge said "Wait, according to this ticket you weren't even speeding." The officer wrote that he was going 44 in a 30, instead of the opposite... HA! Okay, again, I'm not condoning his lead-foot or anything, but believe me, this was an answer to prayer... God definitely knew we had better things to do with $200. And it was a reality-check for Tyler to quit speeding.

- We upgraded Jaxon from his high chair to a booster chair at the regular table. It's SO weird to eat dinner and look over and see him sitting next to me ... it's almost a flash-forward to when he's 16. See how cute he is?

- I am happy with myself for the ways that I've reached out to meet people since we've moved here. Like I mentioned before, I've been hanging out with Holly at least once a week, and I have met a few girls from library time that we're having a play date with later this week. And then of course the girls from small group... even though I've only met them once I have a feeling those could be some good friends of mine someday. And all of them told me to let them know when I have the baby and I'm ready for some company at the hospital so they will come visit me! Yay... you have no idea how happy that makes me. I guess I'm proud of myself for reaching out to people when, honestly, I really don't want to. I hope these friendships just continue to grow.

- We are now in the single digits for how many days before Baby #2 arrives, and more than anything at this point I wish I could sit down with Jaxon and tell him all about what's about to happen. He's too young to understand, and I'm afraid of Friday morning when he wakes up and Mommy and Daddy are both already gone to the hospital {and the baby will probably be here by that point}... so the people that usually greet him in the morning are gone {hello Grandma!} and then he's whisked away to come meet this other little bitty human who is now going to be living with him, and he doesn't understand why or who he is and why he's hogging so much of Mommy's attention, and where is Mommy for the next 3 days, why isn't she coming home? I just wish he was older, so he could understand it better. Can you tell I'm really worried about this transition?

- I joined e-mealz.com in hopes of getting new recipes and making grocery shopping a little bit easier for me. So far, I'm not overly impressed, but we've had a couple meals that we've really enjoyed and will make again.

- I keep finding myself looking forward to not being pregnant anymore, then realizing I should quit doing that considering the chance of us having another baby is ..... well, it depends on which one of us you ask. ;) Anyway, the baby was moving around a ton the other morning so I caught it on video in hopes of remembering these last few moments and will share it here soon, once someone tells me how to upload a video to blogger... :) Any helpers?

- I love this little boy so much my heart feels like it could explode some days.

- I think that's enough randomness for one day!

Just being real.

Most days, I am happy.

And if I'm not, for whatever reason, I try really hard to see the positives in my life, which really does make me happy.

Today, I just feel so ... sigh... feeling sorry for myself, I guess. Missing both of our families. Missing my friends. Missing Jaxon's buddies and playmates. Missing our community of fellowship from church. Missing the fall, cooler weather. Missing missing missing.

It makes me sad when I think about staying overnight in the hospital room by myself. It makes me sad to think that all of our family and friends won't be there to meet the baby before we leave the hospital. {side note: my Mom and Grandma are coming, along with Tyler's family at some point. So that is a happy side note.} It makes me sad when I look at all of Jaxon's pictures and see our entire family there the night he was born. It makes me sad to see one of my closest friends Karalie at our side, caring for us and Jaxon. It makes me sad that my siblings and my Dad won't even meet my new son until Thanksgiving. It makes me sad that my sister won't sneak into my house while I'm sleeping with my newborn and do dishes for me. We had company pretty much non-stop in our hospital room celebrating our new baby boy, and this time around I'm just terrified of sitting there alone. It just makes me sad that things are going to be so different this time around.

And I'm scared. I'm scared to be a Mom to 2. I'm scared I won't have enough love, enough patience, enough time in the day to tell them both how much I love them. I'm scared Jaxon will feel replaced. I'm scared he won't understand. I'm scared of nursing again, and recovering from a c-section again with a 1 1/2 year old to chase after. I'm scared of never showering again and never getting any sleep or time in the day to just breathe. I'm scared of not loving this child the way I do Jaxon. I'm scared I won't be good enough for both of them. I'm scared they are both going to need me at the same time and I won't be able to help them both... who will I help first? I'm scared of my husband and my relationship going south because of the stress of it all. I'm scared of doing all these things without any support, without any friends and family nearby.

I realize these are 'consequences' of us moving away. I realize that, and obviously don't blame anyone for it. We moved here for a reason. To be together, to have stability, to have medical benefits. We moved here because God wanted us to. Why? ... I'm just not sure yet.

I feel bad even complaining, like I'm not allowed to. I mean, I expressed for how long that I'd go anywhere just to be with my husband and son and be together again. And I really did (do) mean that. I just cannot understand why the things had to happen the way they did ... why in January Tyler got laid-off to begin with. Why he essentially got laid-off again before even starting a new job 6 months later, which would have allowed us to stay in KC. Why we always have to live so far from our families. Why. Those are questions I may never have answered, and I have to be able to accept that... somehow.

Don't get me wrong... overall we really are happy here. Tyler coming home each night, eating dinner together, seeing my boys play together, falling asleep together... those are things I cherish and to this day appreciate more than I ever did before. Maybe that's the reason... maybe that's the answer for those questions. To help me not take for granted those things in life that I always just expected and never fully appreciated.

Today, I just feel sad. Tears keep coming out of my eyes. Jaxon just keeps looking at me and rubbing my leg to console me. Just as your Momma used to say ... sometimes, life just isn't fair.

On a lighter note ...

Guess what I got today in the mail. A hand-written letter from my sister. It, of course, brought me to tears ... but what doesn't these days? I swear I have some kind of crazy-pregnant-lady-always-crying syndrome. Poor Tyler... I'll be lucky if he doesn't admit me to a psych ward before my pregnancy ends.

She also sent me this recipe - Pumpkin Roll with Cream Cheese Filling. The only bad thing about this? I need to have it. Right now. You better believe I'll be making it tonight, or tomorrow. Whenever I can get myself to the grocery store.

Thanks for making me smile today, Sister.

The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy and loving-kindness, O Lord, endure forever -- forsake not the works of Your own hands.

Psalm 138:8

Progress, take two.

A little follow-up to my "progress" post from the other day ... here's some of the stuff I've received in the mail recently.

First up, my Carters clothes order ...

It came full of itsy bitsy teenie tiny clothes that I "ooooed" and "awwwwwwed" over for hours after opening the package. The clothes are so tiny. It is hard to remember Jaxon ever being that small!! Tyler got home that night and as I was showing them to him, said "who is gonna fit in those?" ;)

I love Carters clothes and LOVE their prices and sales ... got all of these items on clearance for less than $35. Mama score!

Next up ... my much anticipated Pottery Barn Kids order arrived ...

I've never had a "designer" diaper bag before and I actually felt a little guilty buying this ... but it was on sale AND I had a coupon. And my husband kept telling me it was okay, and that I deserved it for taking care of Jaxon alone all summer. So okay, okay... you twisted my arm... I got it.

And the bedding? Well, after discussing forever if we should get new toddler bedding or new crib bedding, we decided on the crib bedding, because -- and I quote -- "I don't want Jaxon to feel like {insert baby's name here} is taking over all his stuff." -- were Tyler's exact words. Awww, my heart just melted, again. So I went with a boats theme, only because I couldn't find any "transportation" bedding I liked. Now I just need Jaxon to move to his big boy bed so I can put this new bedding up.

See what I'm talkin' about people?! It's progress.

I love getting packages. The UPS man probably seriously thinks I'm crazy by now. Maybe it would be fun to be a UPS/FedEx driver. I mean, who doesn't love getting mail? Maybe it would be fun to deliver happiness to people. Just another thought from my crazy train.

Back to my to-do list ...

Progress.

I keep having break-downs night after night about how I'm no where near being ready for this baby to be born. Seriously, I may have been a little crazy when I was pregnant with Jaxon having my bags packed, nursery complete, 700 diapers ready to be peed/pooped on, etc at like 32 weeks. So imagine my panic when I'm 34 weeks pregnant and do not have any of the above completed, and much less actually.

Here's my list of to-do's:

• Sort through Jaxon's old newborn/0-3 month clothes, cry because half of them are fleece and it will be 70+ degrees when this baby comes, and put them away.
• Buy a dresser, to put the above mentioned clothes away.
• Buy short sleeved clothes / light fabric long sleeves {newborn and 0-3 months} to replace the above mentioned fleece clothes that he won't be able to wear. {thanks, texas!}
• Get out the "baby stuff" and put it all away / set it up. {Boppy, baby tub, swing, bouncer, etc.}
• Buy newborn diapers. Buy any diapers. Just buy diapers. {this one seriously put me in a panic a couple weeks ago when I realized I haven't bought a.n.y.}
• Buy a baby book. Easy enough, you would think, but I can't find any. Any.
• Buy month to month stickers, to take pics on each "month birthday"
• Buy a co-sleeper.
• Buy a diaper bag.
• Buy crib bedding. {Jaxon will use his crib bedding on his new toddler bed, once he moves to his toddler bed, that is.}

See, doesn't that list make you want to cry? Okay, maybe that's my hormones. But it does make me cry. Quite frequently actually.

One night Tyler said "just start buying the stuff. What are you waiting for? You keep crying about it but you're not doing anything about it."

Smart man, he is.

So here's the same list, more up to date, now that I've made some progress.

• Sort through Jaxon's old newborn/0-3 month clothes, cry because half of them are fleece and it will be 70+ degrees when this baby comes, and put them away.
• Buy a dresser, to put the above mentioned clothes away.
• Buy short sleeved clothes / light fabric long sleeves {newborn and 0-3 months} to replace the above mentioned fleece clothes that he won't be able to wear. {thanks, texas!}
• Get out the "baby stuff" and put it all away / set it up. {Boppy, baby tub, swing, bouncer, etc.}
• Buy newborn diapers. Buy any diapers. Just buy diapers. {this one seriously put me in a panic a couple weeks ago when I realized I haven't bought a.n.y.}
• Buy a baby book. Easy enough, you would think, but I can't find any. Any. Thanks Nana!
• Buy month to month stickers, to take pics on each "month birthday"
• Buy a co-sleeper.
• Buy a diaper bag.
• Buy crib bedding. {Jaxon will use his crib bedding on his new toddler bed, once he moves to his toddler bed, that is.}

For what it's worth I looked at buying diapers while I was at Sam's the other day, but they don't carry newborn diapers. C'mon Sams, get it together. You're on my nerves.

Okay, I've crossed 5 things off my list. But it's progress, people. One day at a time. And somehow, I'm confident it'll all work out ... somehow.

{Don't forget to enter my giveaway! Go here to enter!}

Countdown.

6 weeks from today.

41 days.

I will be in surgery.

Not sleeping the night before, I'm sure.

Sobbing the entire way to the hospital, I'm positive.

And shortly after 7:30 am, we will meet our second baby boy.

{crap, I'm bawling already!}

October 29 is the big day.

^"6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Phillipians 4:6-7

All about baby.

How crazy is it, that at 31 weeks pregnant I bought my first baby item?

A soft blankey, that's right. I don't care that Jaxon has 700 blankets in his room that are unused and some still with tags... this little guy needs his own blankie. Sure, almost everything else may be hand-me-downs, but not his blanket. Ahhh, so soft. Can't wait to wrap him up in that!

It seems like such a surreal thing to actually know what town I would be delivering this boy in ... remember a month ago we had no idea where we'd be, and now all the little details are coming together, and I'm getting excited. I toured the 2 hospitals in town in the last couple weeks trying to decide between the two... which one would I be having my baby at. Last night I toured the second hospital and know for sure that I'll deliver there. It is still not as great as Olathe Med where I had Jax, but apparently that hospital is just amazing and I won't find one as good here.

The biggest difference between Olathe and this new hospital is how many times I will be moved. At Olathe, I was prepped for my c-section and recovered after surgery for 3 days, all in the same room. It was a glorious thing. Now, at this new place, I will first go to pre-op. Then to my csection. Then to recovery (post-op). Then eventually they'll wheel me back to my post-partum room where I'll spend 2-3 days. The hospital is nice and brand new, has a NICU on site in case we need that, has a big beautiful nursery, etc ... but I just hate the thought of moving so much during my stay. My mom reminded me last night that I'll only be spending an hour or two at each room until I get to the post-partum room, which is true. So ... grin and bear it. That's what I'll do. What other choice do I have?

Otherwise on the pregnancy front, all is well! Besides pretty bad back pain at the end of each day, I feel great and have a lot of energy, even for being so far along and having a toddler to chase. We did decide on a name, but we are not sharing this time around, just for kicks and giggles ... and because it's fun to hear everyone guessing what they think it'll be. My mom is convinced up and down that it's Hayden ... stay tuned... soon you'll find out if she's right or not. :)

This week I need to focus on finding a new OB doctor ... at this point I guess I'm not overly concerned about how friendly he/she is, honestly I'm really just needing a good surgeon. How crazy is it to be finding a new doctor when I'm 31-32 weeks pregnant though?! Those girls last night at the tour that showed up with their pens and paper and were not even in their 2nd tri probably think I'm insane. I look back at my pregnancy with Jaxon and just smile at how 'perfect' everything was and how it all just came together. Had his nursery done by this time and just spent everyday at work browsing baby message boards. This pregnancy is just so so so different, but not necessarily in a bad way. Just different.

We'll close out with a belly pic ... my mom tells me that I'm carrying farther 'out' this time instead of 'across' (aka WIDE! haha) I think she was just trying to make up for the time she called me huge. It's okay, Mom, I still love you. :)

Here I am in all my hugeness glory!

How crazy that this baby boy could be here next month!!?? Depending on if my new doctor does csections at 38 wks, or if he/she does them at 39 wks... I'll have a new baby in my arms in either 7 or 8 very short weeks.

Inhale ... Exhale ... Inhale ... Exhale ...

Funny guy.

Talking about baby names this morning ...

I made my list, Tyler made his.



Yes, you can start feeling sorry for our 2nd born now.

{sorry to anyone who has a child with any of these names ... they just aren't my style!}

Part two.

On a much, much, much happier note...

... Tyler makes me laugh. Hard. He has the most random personality, he can go from quiet and serious and just randomly make this off-the-wall comment that has tears rolling down my face. A lot of people are not fortunate enough to see that side of him. I love being his wife. Love.it.

... I had one of those "ah-ha" moments realizing that I honestly think the reason the stupid bank fired me was because I was never going to trust God enough to quit. As much as I hated it there and absolutely loathed being a working Mom (hardest thing EVER!), I would have never trusted God enough to quit. I know, that sounds terrible, but I am sure a lot of you can relate to that feeling... thinking you know better. I would have thought there was just no way we could ever survive without my income and wasn't strong enough to risk it all and quit. So here's those fancy bank people laughing thinking that I'm suffering because I don't have them anymore, and here's me laughing because they are soooo wrong. We are not suffering. We are happy and thriving.

... It is such a weird thing being pregnant. First trimester, let's face it, sucks. Puking and my terrible coffee aversion I had ... it was terrible. But now I feel kicks. I feel him moving around. Jaxon lays his head on my belly and {tries} to wrap his hands around me. The sickness is gone, the belly is sticking out there, and it is amazing. I am really trying to enjoy these moments, because I am about 99% sure we're going to be done having kids after this baby boy makes his appearance into this world. So despite the back pain, the RLP (round ligament pain), and having "i'm huge and fat and disgusting" meltdowns... I love these times. I love carrying our second son. It is a miracle.

... I looooove being with Jaxon all day, every day. As overwhelming as it can get at times, I love moments like this:
{watching Barney in the morning}

and like this:
{knocked-out asleep after a fun day at the pool with mommy}

... I love the sunshine. I do not love heat, but I love how sunshine instantly boosts my mood. I love driving down the road with the radio cranked up and windows down just enjoying life. It may be crazy and upside-down, but I have everything I need.

... I think people take advantage of being together with their spouse. Sometimes while I'm sitting at stop lights I look over and see this man and woman sitting there just staring forward. And all I can think is, "hold his hand. Love and remember the small things, even if you are just on your way to the grocery store. At least you're doing it together." I can't wait until the day that Tyler and I can just be together again. I mean, we are right now, because I'm visiting him, but I mean permanently. I think this time away has seriously taught me so much ... I'm learning to love the little things and it's funny how every day since I have been here I have thought about what to wear, and seriously tried to look nice for my husband. He deserves to have a good-looking wife, not someone who is still in PJ's and hasn't showered for a few days when he gets home from a long day at work. Right? Right. I hope I never forget marriage is something to constantly work on and to never get lazy at.

... I love the movie "Pretty Woman". Sometimes when people ask me what my favorite movie is, I can never think of it. So next time, just remind me that my favorite movie is Pretty Woman. I could watch it once a week and never get tired of it. I also like The Notebook, The Holiday, The Proposal, and all of the Bourne movies.

... I was at Target a couple days ago and bought leggings. Aren't you proud of me, sister? I am a little behind (always) on fashion things, that is one thing I wish I would have the motivation to change about myself. I love dressing cute, but I really just don't have that many cute clothes. One day maybe I can give my credit card to my sister and let her buy a new wardrobe for me. Anyways, back to the leggings. A lot of maternity shirts now are really long and they just don't look that cute with shorts or capris. So I thought "hey, maybe I should buy some of those legging things." Later that day when Tyler got home (correction: to the hotel), he said "wow, you look cute!" Score.

... A couple days ago, I went to this really fancy mall a couple miles away from our hotel. Jaxon and I spent... um, 3 hours there... just walking around. People watching. Sitting by the fountain and letting him splash in the water. Walking slow and letting all these rushed people pass me. Sipping on my beloved Starbucks that I can finally drink again without vomiting. And I loved it. I never do things like that... everywhere I go I am always in a hurry. It was so refreshing and relaxing to walk slow and just browse, I had no intention on buying anything (and you'd be proud... I didn't!). You should try it sometime. Just take a moment (or day) and relax. Let life and people pass you by and just enjoy having a slow-paced afternoon.

... I love weddings. And I love that I am the matron of honor in Brian & Angie's wedding. {They have an incredible story, check out their blog!} Their wedding is in October, which means I am going to be... 8 1/2 months pregnant. The really funny thing is that when we were little teenage girls dreaming about our wedding, Angie used to always tell me I would be pregnant in her wedding. She has always been spot on about things like that ... a little freaky, actually. ;) I am so excited for her to be married and experience how much fun it is. I mean, yeah, it's hard work. But it's fun, isn't it?! I love it. And I love her. Cannot wait to see her walking down that aisle.

... Now that I am a SAHM, I am going to try reeeaaallllyyyy hard to: A.) cook more frequently, because my husband loves it when I do. B.) do laundry more frequently, because my husband loves it when I do. C.) Get dressed and 'get ready' every day, even if I am staying home... because my husband loves it when I do. {and so do I! I hate feeling yucky and lazy}. D.) blog and stay in touch with friends. I love it when I do. E.) spend a lot more time with God, and not so much time on facebook. Yes, I am a facebook addict. And I am terrible at devoting specific time with my maker. Because HE loves it when I do, and I do too. So refreshing. F). Find a gym, get a membership, and work out. Because it makes me feel sooo good when I do. And if they have babysitting service, I have no excuse. And... G). Read more. I love to read, just never ever do it.
Those are my goals, hold me to them.

... There's more that I could say, but because I only had two pictures in this post my sister is probably thinking about algebra and other boring things by now, along with the rest of you. I love to blog, I am just not very good at it. But I'll keep trying.

See? No matter how crazy your life is, take a second to reflect on the many good things surrounding you right now. So here's your challenge... write a post about all the good things in your life and the things you love and send it to me. Things are never as bad as they may seem. I promise.

Part one.

I have so much on my mind today, and so much of it is fun things and exciting things... and so much of it is heavy and depressing. So today my posts will be split up between two... part one and part two.

A few weeks ago my Momma and I were chatting about this decision I was trying to make, trying to decide if I could justify finding out the sex of this child with the hubs while I was going to be out in Denver visiting him or wait a few weeks longer and pay nothing (hello, insurance!) and find out alone. Okay, not alone, because a-bazillion people have told me they would love to go with me, but without my husband. You know, not having the whole "holding hands while we look at this amazing creation and miracle full of anticipation finding out whether there is a penis on-board or not." Anyway, my Dad suggested that we should just wait and find out when the baby is born. "Are you kidding me? Do you not know your daughter? I do not do surprises. I hate them." was my reply ... to which my Mom said "isn't that your life right now? A big giant surprise? Not knowing anything about your future at this point?" Ha... thanks for pointing that one out. I said, "yeah, doesn't mean I have to like it NOR would I choose it, if it was up to me."

We decided to find out together because honestly, money is not everything and I really want to cherish every moment I can when I'm with my husband. We found out we are having another BOY !!! There is such a special place in my heart for boys, they love their momma's! I cannot wait to see Jaxon be a big brother, be best friends with his little brother, and to meet this amazing miracle in October.



Life, even though it's completely upside-down right now, is good. Jaxon and I are currently out in Denver visiting Tyler right now, and even though we are living out of a suitcase and our home is a hotel, we are cherishing every moment we get as a family. Each night once Tyler is off work we find something fun to do, even if it's just driving around gawking at the weird people and beautiful mountains, we are together. I love being here with him ... it just makes life feel halfway normal again. Come next Tuesday when I'm boarding the plane to leave, I may have something else to say on this subject.

We got an offer on our house that we are super excited about, and now we are just waiting for the bank to approve the offer and then they will give us a close date that we have to be out of the house by. (it's typically 30-45 days after approval) I am grateful to have my parents and inlaws who have both said they will come out and help this poor pregnant lady pack up a 4-bedroom house. If that tugged at your heart, even just a little, know you are welcome to come join me anytime day or night and help me pack. Cuz seriously, packing 4 bedrooms, 3 baths, a garage, a sub-basement, 2 living rooms, etc ... makes me a little sick to my stomach. Oh, while watching a 16 month old whose life's purpose and goal is to destroy and undo anything I just did. And where am I going to load and move all of these things? That is a really good question. To which I do not have an answer for.

I try not to complain. I really do. And I think I do a decent job of not complaining. But not knowing where we are going to be living in a month or two, being pregnant and not knowing where I am going to give birth to this baby, and feeling so ... alone? It sounds strange, because I'm not alone. My parents, my inlaws, my extended family, my small group & church, my friends, have been nothing but amazing. I know I have a lot of options for where Jaxon and I could live for a few months. But I don't want to be without my husband. But at the same time, I don't want to move 12 hours away from my current home, just to move again weeks after I have a baby.

What would you do? No, seriously. I want to know. Move and unpack, just to move again very shortly after having a c-section... or maybe we won't have to move, if the hubs gets hired directly on after his contract ends. So would you risk it? Or would you move your things to a storage facility and roam from home to home until you have a definite answer as to what direction your husband's job will take you and then go from there? Tyler obviously wants us out here, and I want to be here too, but I don't know. There is too much at stake and being 12 hours from our family and any kind of support system makes me really hesitant.

Regardless I am thankful for a God who continues to show his love and mercy every day. He wraps his arms around me in my down times and comforts me in my alone and scary times. He has poured his love into our lives so many times in the last 6 months, I have lost count. He has proven that he is faithful; never going to leave us or forsake us. He has taught us how to trust and lean on others. And for all of that, I am so thankful.

You deserve an award if you made it through this post. I apologize if you are now depressed after reading this, ha!

As always we appreciate and covet the prayers that are being said for us ... so thank you for that.