Home.

wherever

we are together,

that is home.

Time to get down and dirty.

You all know the love I have for cloth diapers. I love them. In fact, on Valentines Day when the hubs and I were out for dinner, we were playing the random question game... and of course the inevitable "what 3 items would you grab if the house was on fire?"question came up... to which I replied, "oh! the cloth diapers of course." ha!

{see my previous posts here and here in case you're getting caught up}

Anyway, I feel like it's also pretty inevitable that there's going to be some things I don't like about them as well. So in my effort to be realistic and honest, we're going to talk about that today.

First and foremost, now that Cohen is eating solid food and not exclusively nursing, using cloth diapers is much more of a chore. It's not as easy as taking the diaper off, removing the insert, and throwing it all in a bag and washing them. Unfortunately now, I have to spray the poopy diaper. And let me just tell you... I hate this diaper sprayer. Hate it. Almost as much as I hate cotton balls. Seriously, I think it might be the worst invention ever. I've gotten a few tips from friends that have helped, but my opinion on this thing will never change. I've sprayed myself in the face multiple times, I've sprayed poopy water everywhere, and the thing I hate the most? Carrying a dripping, soaking wet diaper from the bathroom back into the nursery where the wet bag is. It's just gross.

I know there's the flushable liners I could use {which would catch the poop, then I just throw the liner away}... but at 6cents a piece, it seems to defeat the purpose of using cloth diapers. I'm using them to save money, so it just doesn't make sense to me.

My last complaint. My son is apparently a "heavy wetter" and I cannot figure out how to prevent nighttime leaks, without changing his diaper through the night, which wakes him up and remember my rule: never wake a sleeping baby. I have tried doubling a newborn insert with a regular insert. I've tried a hemp insert with a regular insert. Tonight I may try 2 hemp inserts... I don't know what else to do. But one thing I am sure of... I am tired of washing his sheets every.single.morning.

That's it. See, there's not many things I don't like about them... I'd still recommend them to anyone {and I do!}. I suppose one way to fix one of the problems would be to not give my son any solid food, but that would be mean. And I don't want him to be 5 years old still nursing.... not my cup of tea and I don't think his kindergarten teacher would appreciate that. {i'm joking, by the way.}

If you are a CDing mama and have any advice for me, I am all ears... seriously, I am desperate for some help over here. If you're not a CDing mama, you should be. Just saying. :)

Easter.

There in the ground His body lay

Light of the world by darkness slain

Then bursting forth in glorious Day

Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory

Sin's curse has lost its grip on me

For I am His and He is mine

Bought with the precious blood of Christ

"In Christ Alone"

I can hardly sing this song in church because it is SO powerful. Most of the time I have to just worship without singing, because if I sing along I start the ugly cry. You know what I'm talking about.

Saturday I heard about an Easter egg hunt at a church here in town that "hid" 20,000 eggs. We took the boys and had a great time.

We had to bribe this child off of the toy equipment in order to pick up some eggs before they were gone... he could have cared less.

He finally listened and picked up about 10 eggs... then back to playing.

Cohen had a blast, obviously... ha!

Our church service yesterday was one of the most powerful I've been to. After church we had a very low-key day {including a nap for mommy!}... it was a great day celebrating the resurrection!

I kept finding myself getting frustrated that my boys would not cooperate and take cute Easter pictures.... then my husband so kindly reminded me that this is our life... a 26 month old and {almost} 6 month old... they are not going to just look at the camera and smile. Guess he's right... so I'm at peace with the not-so-great pictures I got of them together.

This was Cohen's first time sitting/standing in the grass, so he was too busy to look at Mommy.

We met some friends for lunch at On The Border. They also have 2 boys, close to the same ages as ours, so we thought there was a high chance of it being a complete disaster. Luckily it was great and we really enjoyed our lunch with them! All 4 boys were great!

Cohen's basket ... aden & anais blanket and burp cloths/bibs, an outfit, and books & a block.

Jaxon's basket... Thomas bath squirters, Thomas book, "Emily" (a Thomas train), shoes, and a puzzle. We're on a big Thomas kick around here.

The boys looked so cute... it's so fun getting them dressed up for holidays. Thanks again Grandma for the outfits and shoes! <3

I am so thankful for my boys... you know it's so easy to get caught up in things you don't have and in doing so all you're doing is giving the enemy free-reign to tell you lies. We may live in Texas and be way too far from our 'extended' families, but we have each other. We have love, health, and happiness and I couldn't be more thankful.

It was a beautiful Easter day and I hope yours was as well.

I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.

Philippians 3:10-12

Sunday's comin'.

It's Good Friday.

Today has meant more to me than all the Good Friday's before this. Yes, Jesus' crucifixion and death has always made me sad. It has always touched me. But not like it has today.

I spent my quiet time this morning sobbing. Literally as soon as I sat down and started praying, realizing what today was, my heart hurt. My savior, the one who has saved me, redeemed me, healed me... the one who gave it all for me. To think about how He easily could have removed himself from this position. How he was mocked. The pain He went through.... how my sin held Him there. And as he took His last breath, how the veil was torn... He made a way for me to personally know the Father.

I wrote in my journal "thank you isn't enough." I mean, what do you say to the One who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?

I am not sure I will ever find adequate words to thank him for what He did, but I will spend my entire life trying to live for him... to please Him... and looking forward to the day I can tell Him that face to face.

It's Friday... but Sunday's comin.'

Also, if you are familiar at all with Cardboard Testimonies... take a second and check out Meredith's blog and see my cardboard testimony. I was so happy to be apart of it... and I will explain mine in more detail another day. :)

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.

Isaiah 53:5

Believing.

If you think about your friends, you can probably rattle off a few different names of people that you're pretty close to. If I was to ask you who your best friend was, that persons name might roll right off your tongue, and some of you may have to pause and think about it for a second.

For me, it's easy. I've had 2 best friends my entire life. One of them was born 3 years after me and is my Sister. The other is not blood relation to me, yet some days feels like it. Her name is Angie, and she is one of the most genuine, compassionate, encouraging, and giving people on this planet. She's absolutely amazing and I'm honored to be apart of her life.

We met in our early teenage years, at a church retreat. As the years went by, we spent many many nights and days together doing what teenage girls do best... crying, fighting, laughing, praying together, and of course, talking about boys. Dreaming of our futures.

Angie's dream came true last summer when she married Brian. She found the person that God created for her. He is an amazing guy who makes her laugh and loves her unconditionally. She waited a long time for this man, and God blessed her for doing so. Not only is Brian a gift to Angie, but she is exactly what he needs as well. You see, years before they event met, Brian was diagnosed with cancer. He has gone through some awful times, as well as times of celebration and rejoicing as different spots have disappeared or gotten much smaller. Angie has stayed by his side since day 1... she went into their marriage knowing he has cancer and that never changed her mind. She knew this was the man God created for her, and never looked back. She is strong for him. God has given her a heart of pure compassion for others, a heart full love and encouragement, and a heart full of passion for this life they have together.

Tears run down my face as I so badly want Angie to be able to experience the gift of motherhood. This love that I have for my boys is only something that can be understood once you become a mom yourself. I want to be 82 and swinging on a front porch swing, as we look out in a big yard full of our grandkids talking about the good 'ole days, with Brian and Tyler laughing at the teenagers and young adults we once were. I want nothing but pure happiness for Angie and Brian, because they deserve it.

I am prompted daily to pray for this beautiful couple. Praying for longevity in their marriage... that this cancer would be gone from Brian's body and that a miracle could take place, right here and right now, in 2011. In just 2 short weeks, Brian will have another PET scan, and on May 10th they will get the results. I believe with all my heart that God is going to heal Brian. That they will live long and happy lives full of laughter and love... and kids and grandkids. That God will continue to use them to minister to others and testify of His wondrous works and miracles that He still performs today.

Will you join me in praying, and believing, for this amazing couple?

If you need help planning that big "HE'S HEALED" party that you're planning on throwing, let me know. I'll be there in a split second.... err, 9 hours. :)

Love you Ang, always!

{if you want to visit her blog and let her know you're praying for her, click here}

Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He sent out his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave. Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind. Let them sacrifice thank offerings and tell of his works with songs of joy.

Psalm 107:19-22

What I wore Wednesday.

Just for you, sister.

bible study & hanging at home today

cardi: ny&co

tank top: gap

jeans: old navy

I scored big time at Gap the other day with their "buy 1 shirt, get 1 free"... shopped the clearance department and got 6 shirts for $50.80... which ended up being only $0.80 cents out of my pocket, thanks to gift cards... thanks mom!

Love deals like that, and hooray for now having a little bit of a summer wardrobe.

It's done and final.

Those were the words of the title office this afternoon as the buyers signed the closing docs, and our home is finally sold. It's done. It's final.

I know I should be happy that it's over, but right now, I'm just really sad.

Sad about the memories that we should be creating there.

Sad about not having enough pictures of it.

Sad about how it all happened.

Sad.

"It's just a house, Megan."

Except it's not. It was our first house that we owned. A place that we spent hours upon hours making our own. The nursery that we brought our squishy newborn, Jaxon, home to. The striped dining room walls that I loved. The bathroom where I found out I was pregnant with Cohen. The kitchen that I actually looked forward to cooking in. The fireplace... lots of evenings spent talking and cuddling in front of. The open layout that was perfect for entertaining. The spare bedrooms that hosted family and friends. The living room where Jaxon first crawled... the basement where he learned to walk. The living room where we loved to host small group. The jet tub, a perfect place to de-stress. The flower bed and yard that Tyler babied and took great care of. The carpet stains from sippy cup leaks and mud from shoes of people who visited us. A place of refuge, of retreat.

See? It's not just a house. It was our home... we'll miss it. I can only hope and pray that the people that now own it can create even more memories in it, and love it as much as we did.

*sniff.

Stereotypes.

Can you find yourself relating to any of these typical stereotypes?

{image found here}

One thing I will vowge for.... in Texas, the kids really do say "yes ma'am" and Jaxon is currently learning it himself as well.

Sunday inspiration.

Just a few of my favorite images from pinterest this week... I'm in spring & easter mode!

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I'm trying to decide if I'm brave enough to do egg coloring or not with Jaxon this year...... I'm thinking I might be asking for trouble, but but but..... it's Easter, how can I not!

Excited for this week... what about you?

Help me.

My motivation is lost.

Motivation to keep our home in great condition. {toys everywhere...ahhhhh!} Motivation to stay ahead of cleaning and laundry. Motivation to get in touch with my crafty side and beautify my house. Motivation to continue to work out. Motivation to hang out with friends. Motivation to do anything.

Part of this may be from the lack of sleep I'm getting. You can't even begin to understand the term 'sleep deprivation' until you have a baby. Jaxon has done amazing sleeping through the night since about 14 months, but lately? Up 3-4 times per night! Add this in with Cohen waking up 2-3 times, and you have one very exhausted mama.

The lack of motivation I feel about my house, I think, is due to us renting. Going from being a home-owner to renting is awful. All I can think about each month when I write that rent check is money going down the drain. And why make changes or spend money to fix or beautify this place when it's not even ours, you know?

I look around and see all these craft projects going on in blog world and want to do it myself. But then I don't. I look around blog land and see home improvements taking place and think about how I could do that as well... but why?

To add salt to the wound, I just really miss our families. Really miss them. Like, ache in my gut... that kind of missing them. Staying home for Easter and having no company to come really stinks.

Anyway, if you find my motivation can you tell it that it's mama is really missing it and wants it to come back?

Enough wining for today... someone tell me something nice that's happening in your life to distract me and make me happy for you.

A first.

I don't know why, but one of the first things I thought about when I found out I was having another boy was the idea of my boys not only playing together and becoming best friends, but the thought of their first bath together.

I went to a big kids consignment sale a few weeks ago and scored this bath chair for uber cheap... it is pretty much like a Bumbo chair, but for the bath.

We were so excited to try it out, mostly because I knew Cohen could finally have his first bath with his big brother.

Just as suspected, they both loved every minute of it... I really can't decide who liked it more. Jaxon loved 'sharing' his toys and helping Mommy wash C's hair, and Cohen was mesmerized by all his big brothers moves.

It was so sweet and just as I had pictured it.

Lord my God, You have done many things - Your wonderful works and Your plans for us; none can compare with You.

Psalm 40:5

So sweet.

Note his hands folded and wrapped so tightly around his bff, Scout.

Be still my heart.

<3

Tidbits.

I'm in a blogging slump ... obviously ... not sure what to talk about so let's just chat about life, shall we?

- 2 weeks ago I started Jillian's 30 day shred and I am down 7 pounds. Happy about that. I had to sit out 2 days this week because my knees just about gave out {read: i couldn't walk, literally}. I had to take a break before it completely gave out again... I really need surgery on my other knee someday but it's just not happening right now.

- Jaxon has officially reached the terrible twos age. And I know, half of you are going to respond and say "twos were nothing, wait till you get to threes", to which I will reply: just shut it. :)

- We are playing the waiting game and I hate it. I can't share any other details other than that, but will you please pray for patience and perseverance in the hubs and I?

- Do you have a Pinterest account? If not, you should request an invitation.... it's so fun, but addicting. I love how convenient it is to 'save' a picture you see online, instead of having to download the picture, save it to a folder on your computer, etc. You just click 'pin it' and you can access your idea boards from any computer. Love it! Once you get one, follow me!

- I am a little afraid to talk about this in fear that Cohen might hear me, but he is putting himself to sleep at naps & bedtime! While I'm happy about it, I'm also a little sad. I nurse him, then lay him down while he's still awake, and he's out a few minutes later. I just love to rock my babies, so yeah, I'm a bit torn in how to feel about it.

- Still reading "The Love Dare" and really like it. It has been fun to be challenged each day to show my love to Tyler... he doesn't know I'm reading it and occasionally he asks me "is this part of your quiet time?" I just smile and say "yeah, kinda."

- We are "date night swapping" with some friends from small group tonight. They are bringing their kids over and we'll watch them all night {including putting them to bed here...eeck!}, and in exchange they'll watch our kids next time Hubs has a day off and we get a chance to go on a date. I feel a little bit like we got the short end of the stick, since I know myself and know we won't let the kids go to bed anywhere else, but it's all good.

- Last Saturday I took the boys out to "World Hunger Relief" farm here in Waco. Basically it's a company and farm that is dedicated to training people to work in communities to provide alleviation of hunger throughout the world. These people live/work/eat/play on this farm and obviously grow and eat their own food. It was cool to be out there and felt like I was in another world, even though it was just 10 miles out of town. They also have produce, eggs, and grass-fed meat that you can buy, which I thought was cool.

- It is the weirdest feeling not knowing when we're going to see our families again. Something is just not right about that. sigh...

- Tyler has been working 55-60 hours a week and is purely exhausted each day when he gets home. I feel awful that he has to work that much just for us to survive and am looking forward to the day when this isn't the case anymore. I am so thankful for his hard work and dedication to our family to see us through this tough financial season we're in.

- A good verse I stumbled across the other day: "Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek him." - Hebrews 11:6

- Happy Friday!

Here's my question.

And I need answers.

Do you double space after a period at the end of a sentence?

Apparently I missed the memo that you're not supposed to do this anymore.

monday morning.

hello to a new week.

hello sweet time with my boys this weekend.

hello flu bug.

hello pretty blue bonnets popping up all over town.

hello rainy skies.

hello cohen's first tooth.

hello dreams about our future.

hello shopping for new summer clothes. {and hello gift cards!}

hello monday... i need another cup of coffee and then i'll be ready for you.

April fools?

1 year ago today, we sent out the following email and picture to our closest friends and family:

Despite the discouragement about Tyler's recent job loss, we have had a little surprise pop up in the last few weeks... we found out we are expecting another little Baby Keith to arrive sometime in early November!! (my official due date is November 9 at this point). No, it is not ideal timing but God knows better -- so, we can trust that Tyler will be employed at that point and we'll be settled, wherever that may be. And despite our circumstances we are thankful for this little glimmer of hope and joy that we've been blessed with. Our kids will be 21 months apart, so hopefully they will grow up to be best friends. :) I have been very sick so far, so you can add that to your list of prayers also... haha! We got to see the little baby yesterday and all is well with him/her, its little heart was beating away quickly and it was moving around a lot. The gift of life is an amazing thing... truly a miracle!

PS, Yes I know I sent this on April Fools, but I can assure you this is not an April Fools joke. :)

All of my worries and anxieties about becoming a mother of two diminished and I am finally feeling confident in my new role.

Jaxon has also been transformed into an amazing big brother... just like the rest of us, he's smitten.

And this little guy?

Well, to say he's stolen my heart is an understatement.

I can't believe how much has changed in just this past year. It definitely gives me hope and an excitement for the year ahead as well.

Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you.

Psalm 116:7