A bunch of mumbo jumbo.

Today is going to be a productive day.  Not only am I going to get grocery shopping and some cleaning done, but I am going to majorly update my blog.  The past few weeks have been a whirlwind, and so many times I have wanted to sit and write to myself, but haven't really had an opportunity to do so until now.  So, here goes nothing.

 I got the job as a Teller Supervisor of the new branch opening the first week of March.  Holy crap, a supervisor.  That means I actually have to hire people.  I have to do reviews, coach my employees if they aren't doing their job correctly, do disciplinary action, and also am able to fire people.  Holy crap.  As excited as I am to not be a banker anymore, suddenly I have realized what kind of responsibility I have taken on, and it has completely stressed me out.    You're telling me that I'm going to be second in command of the entire bank?  Who in their right mind hired me to do that.  Holy holy crap.  :::panic mode setting in::: 

Yesterday we had a scrap day at Christines, and as always, I loved it.  (I'm going to post pictures today of a few recent cards I've made)  It is so relaxing and fun to stamp and make cards with Christine... she is such an amazing human being.  It's so funny how our relationship went from her being a mentor to me, to now she's a close friend.  I can literally tell her about anything, as embarassing or funny as it is, and she is just a friend.  She offers advice, but doesn't put on the "mentor face" and tell me what I did right, or wrong, but just listens.  One of the most soothing things to my ears is "I understand.", or "Me too."  What?!  You can relate to me?!  Wow.  Not only that, but she shares with me things she struggles with.  What an amazing person to share life with.  There were also a few girls there from a small group that Tyler and I used to go to.  Lori, Sara, and Nichole.  They are amazing girls and fun to spend time with.  I got home from stamping and felt a little depressed and mad/upset that we don't go to their small group anymore.  The girls are wonderful and I connect with them very well, but my husband doesn't "click" with the guys in the group, except for Rodney.  If you know Tyler, you know that he isn't the type to go up and introduce himself and make conversation with a complete stranger.  On the other hand, if that complete stranger did that to him though, Tyler would sit and talk with him all day and night.  So, it makes me sad because I think highly of the girls and would love to attend their small group and get close to them, but it's hard to when my husband doesn't like it.  But, I can understand... if our roles were reversed, I would be the same way.  So Tyler and I talked last night and decided to start looking for a small group out of ICCC, our own church.  We've been invited to start attending a couple different groups, but one is for couples with babies (not us), and the other group hasn't officially started yet but is in the works, so once it does we will try it out.  I'm excited... we need fellowship desperately.  Not only do I need girlfriends, but Tyler needs guy friends also.  It's so hard to find young couples that we can relate to... but not only do we want friends, but we NEED friends.  

It's so hard for me trying to figure out what an "adult" life looks like.  Not only just the adult life, but the adult friendships.  I know after you're married there is no such thing as sleepovers anymore, and I know you don't see or talk to your friends everyday either.  But does that mean you talk once a month, once every few months, or once a week?  What is the "correct" amount of time that I should want to spend time with a friend?  For the life of me, I cannot find a happy medium.  Sometimes when I get depressed that I have no one to go to the movies with, or out for a coffee with, I always start thinking about other "older" married ladies.  Do they go out on weekends with friends or with another couple group?  No, not that I know of anyways. Sometimes I hate being grown-up.  To make matters worse, because my sister is one of my only friends and she is young and in college, I am constantly comparing myself to her life and wishing I had half as many friends as her, and wishing I was constantly having to decide who to spend my time with.  (I know, I need to stop.)  Instead, I'm at home, trying to think of someone to call.... with no luck.  I literally feel like I'm stuck inside a 30-something year old's life, but I'm only in my early 20's.  I have a stable job, a husband, a house, 2 dogs... so, this is the life?  This is what people do after they get married?  Let me set the record straight by saying I love being married.  Married life truly is awesome, and I am by NO means saying your life is over after you get married.  I love sharing my life with someone.  I just wish WE (as a couple) had friends to hang out with, and relate to.  No, I'm not talking every night, or even every weekend... I'm talking about once in a while, just having someone to go out for dinner with or someone to just spend some time with.  So with that being said... Tyler and I are currently taking applications for friends.  (hehe, just kidding of course!) 

Well, that is all that I can talk about at this very moment.  I am going to upload some journal entries that I've made over the past couple weeks, just so you know some things that I've been dealing with, and how you can pray for me.  Don't worry, not every post will be depressing like this one was.  :)