Jumping back in.

There's so many things to say here.  So much to catch up on, that the thought of starting up again is almost suffocating.  Stepping back from blogging the past few months and reevaluating the reason behind this platform has been refreshing.

Realizing that more often than not, I was writing for others instead of myself has been eye opening.

And even more importantly, the Lord working on my heart in some deep and hard ways has been challenging.  Realizing that my life is like a fuel tank, and there's a reason we need to rest each night, and also a reason why we need to recharge at the beginning of the day has helped me become more aware of my constant need for the Lord.

Through all of this refining and waiting, I have been in some sort of a daze and all the while, my boys have truly grown up right before my eyes, while I was unaware of it.  Just in the last week or so, Cohen has clinged to his big brother in a way I haven't noticed before.  When he's scared, he reaches for Jaxon.  When he has a question, he asks his brother.  I was told at the gym that the two of them are inseparable and only play with each other.

While I'm so thankful for their friendship and relationship, part of me is already missing when I was their go-to, instead of each other.  Mama is feeling a little bit left out, I guess!

What are some other things that I want to remember?

How Cohen has morphed into a big boy so quickly... getting rid of his binky, potty training himself in 2 days (seriously!), riding and pedaling his big boy bike, and upgrading to a toddler bed and out of his crib.  The crib is still up, waiting to be filled... hint hint Mr. Keith :)

The 3 days Tyler and I spent child-free in Lake of the Ozarks... we celebrated 8 YEARS of marriage!  There are not enough words to thank my parents for watching our boys... it was truly refreshing!

The fun summer we've had despite all the sad... full of lots of time at the swimming pool, days in our backyard and picnics at the park, bike rides, road trips, vacations with family, and we still have another month left.  :)  I'm also SO thankful for the cooler summer this year... last weekend we were in sweatshirts sitting on our deck!  Gorgeous.

Jaxon's dismissal of trains and his obsession with legos and Batman, especially if the two of those things are combined!  I've found myself encouraging him to play with his trains again... I never thought I'd miss the sound of Thomas the blue engine, but surprisingly enough, I do.  Sweet boy.

The way I continue to feel when I see old pictures of myself, even from a year ago after I had already made some progress!  I've been pretty faithful and consistent, still going to the gym 2-4 times a week, and am overall just thankful for the gift of health and my new lifestyle.

My deep deep deep love for my husband, and how our relationship has only grown through this trial and dry season of our lives.  In the last few years, he has really stepped into this role of "protector" for me.  I have seen the way he way he defends me and continues to put his family first and I really couldn't be more grateful for him... now, to do a better job of showing it.  :)

I'm ready to jump back into blogging, holding nothing back.  I'm sure I've lost a few friends along the way, but here I go again.

I love looking back through the archives of this "online diary", and don't want to lose my chance at continuing to fill the folders with memories.  Life continues to blow by me at crazy speeds, and if I'm not careful, I'm going to miss it.