In a mood.

I don't know what my deal is, but I'm in quite the funk lately.

I think about deleting my facebook everyday and recently started feeling the same about my blog.  On the days I don't write, I sometimes flip through old posts and then remember why I do it... to help preserve some memories.  I use to scrapbook, which is laughable at this point in my life, but now I love to look through the old albums and remember things I would have otherwise forgotten.  I hope the same rings true for this blog of mine.

I've just felt really anxious the last few days and can't put my finger on why.  Nothing bad happening in our lives, and for a while I was really thankful that nothing "huge" was going on either.  No major life decisions to make, no big problems... daily life has just been quiet and pretty mundane.  I heard once that we (as humans) are all getting ready to go through a trial, just getting over one, or just beginning one... so right now, I am trying to enjoy this in-between season where nothing major is happening.

It's been a tough last couple weeks in my relationship with Jaxon.  We butt-heads on a daily basis and I can't figure out what's going on with him.  He tells me about 10 times a day how tired he is, but doesn't take longer naps and won't go to bed early when we try.  He has reverted back to a lot of "baby" things... the baby talk, the frequent accidents (after being accident-free for months and months!), the HUGE tantrums, not listening, and ohmygosh... his whining is going to send me to a mental institute.

3's are no joke, people.

This isn't a post where I have a "lightbulb" moment and a great ending.  This is real life, where I have a serious case of funk and can't seem to snap out of it.  And this is my blog... the one that I want to run from, but am choosing to do the opposite, because I know that writing really helps sometimes.

I so badly wish I could go for a run to get those endorphin's pumping, but hardly making it up our stairs carrying a load of laundry yesterday made it pretty clear that my knees are shot.

I am going to make a conscious effort to choose joy this afternoon.

Some days, it's just a lot harder than others.