"When friends betray us, when darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart - this is not our home."
"What if my greatest disappointments, or the aching of this life
is the revealing of a greater thirst, this world can't satisfy."
If I'm honest with myself, I can see that a lot of time my "funks" come during times that I'm not being as faithful in the Word as I should be. Once I can fully grasp that last line, "a greater thirst - this world can't satisfy"... that's where I'll find the peace and true joy I'm looking for.
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This morning I took the boys to the children's museum here in town, and left an hour later carrying a yelling/screaming/whaling/kicking Jaxon, while Cohen walked beside us out to the car. I told Tyler in tears, I really don't know if I can do this. I have no idea what I'm doing wrong... is this horrible horrible stage ever going to end?
Then I came home and put the boys to bed, and read this article shared by my sweet friend Leah.
Jesus, thank you for always knowing exactly what I need to hear.
3 hours until our night away at the marriage retreat!
I can't wait to be with my favorite person on the planet and hopefully have a chance to dig deep into our marriage. My prayer this morning was that I have a OPEN heart, OPEN ears, and my defenses can go down... so I am able to really hear my husband and his heart... and anything the Lord wants to say to me as well.
I'm confident this short break will also refresh me, as a Mommy.
I don't feel guilty about writing that, though I thought about deleting it.
"Short breaks don't make you a bad Mom, they make you a better Mom."
Or at least that's what MY Mom says, who really is fantastic. I think she knows what she's talking about. :)
All of that to say... thank GOD it's Friday! Have a great weekend.
We are in the throes of awful, no-good, three-year-old tantrums. I tell you what, after a year of dealing with these my patience is worn very thin. I wonder what I'm doing wrong all the time and it's very draining. I just want to make everyone happy but it doesn't always work that way.
ReplyDeleteI've been struggling with mom breaks too. I don't know why I have it in my head that needing a break makes me a bad mom, but I do. That article was also what I needed. Lately, as Liv screams for hours each night, I've been thinking "why would I ever have another one?". It helped me to feel not so alone. It can only get better.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully worded and oh-so-true. Praying for a revitalizing weekend for you dear.
ReplyDeletePraying for you, friend.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to think...Jaxon's birthday is in February, putting him at about 3 years and 2 months, right? Kids go through a cycle called equilibrium/disequilibrium, each side lasting about 6 months. For most kids, equilibrium happens around full birthdays and disequilibrium happens around half birthdays, but that isn't always the case - some kids are switched. Regardless, it sounds like Jaxon is maybe in his "disequilibrium" stage. I have most definitely noticed this cycle with Isaac. Birth, 1, and 2 have all been very easy stages for us. 6 months and 1.5 were both tough. Isaac is now 2 years 3 months. This is the typical time I start to see that shift to disequilibrium and I'm definitely seeing the signs now. Tantrums are ramping up and becoming more frequent.
I know that doesn't necessarily give you a "solution", but just being aware of that cycle is SUCH a help for me. I know you always hear about "everything is just a stage" but to actually know there is a normal cycle that kids go through...it's just a comfort for me, and nice to know that we always come out to an easier period of time.
I hope you have an awesome weekend with your hubby and come back feeling refreshed.