Changes.

Well, my sister finally convinced me to make the switch from Wordpress to Blogger. I am not sure why I didn't do it earlier, but cheers to a cuter and easier to understand blog.

We made it to Waco! The past week of our life was a complete whirlwind ... but we're here and finally getting settled into our new home. We looked at a total of 5 houses to rent and by the end of the day, we chose the one that we thought would fit our family and our budget the best! It is an older home, which I love ... has lots of old home charm! Definitely the polar opposite of our last house. I loved that one too, but this one just has more character. I do, however, miss my dishwasher. We didn't realize until AFTER we signed the lease that this new place doesn't have a dishwasher! Oh well. I miss the open layout of our old house and the big bright windows in every room, and going from 2200 sq feet 4 bedroom house to a small 2 bedroom home has definitely brought some "where the heck am I going to put this?!" challenges, but so far, it has all worked out. Luckily this house came with tons of storage (garage AND a shed) so it has been fine.

My biggest obstacle has been decorating ... having enough stuff to decorate and furnish our old stuff, and not wanting it to be cluttered in the new house has been a little tough. It's hard to find a balance between it being OVERLY decorated to feeling empty, so I am struggling trying to find a happy medium there. Right now it doesn't feel homey to me, and I think it's just because of the white walls. Our landlords weren't keen on us painting, and with me being 7 months pregnant and having Jaxon to worry about (I can just see a paint can spilling as I type...), I dropped the subject and decided to just grin and bear it.

Anyway, overall we are really happy with the house and I know the longer we're here the more like "home" it will feel. Plus, the saying is definitely true: "Home is where they love you". And I have two (and a half?) boys that love me immensely here, what more could I ask for?

Be back soon, and with pics ... I promise :)

Howdy, y'all.

Do I really have to start talking like that?  I refuse to say those two words ... howdy, and y'all.  Because they are both made up, and I am the grammar nazi.

Well ... Tyler accepted a job in Waco, Texas!  We are excited for lots of reasons.  First and foremost, it is a stable company and the job is NOT a contract! (hooray!)  They have incredible benefits, including 15 days of vacation a year as a newbie, excellent medical benefits, they take 10 days off in-between Christmas and New Years (and that doesn't count against your vacation time) AND they are paying for us to relocate.  Not only that, but all of those benefits start on day 1!  And with a baby coming in a couple of months -- ::gulp:: -- that itself is definitely an answer to prayer.  What else could we ask for?  Well, I guess we could ask for it to be in Kansas City or in the Midwest, but obviously God has other plans.  And we are okay with that.

Stability. Finding a house we can call our own.  A husband who comes home every night after work.  Perfect, perfect, perfect.

It is such a bittersweet thing.  I think this move is harder on me for one reason, and one reason only ... my boys.  I want so badly for them to know their grandparents, not just know OF them.  It kills me to lose my support system that is just hours away.  Okay, I guess I shouldn't say "lose it", because I know I'll never lose their support.  They just won't be able to rescue me when I have a 22 month old naughty boy and a newborn on my hands.  And not just their grandparents, but their aunts/uncles and cousins ... I know our families will always be apart of our lives, I have no doubt.  I just wish they could be apart of our everyday lives.

The second reason it will be so hard is because of our friends.  We have established a second family here in KC through our church and small group.  These people are irreplaceable and will forever hold a spot in my heart ... seriously.  I know the friendships we have with them will not die, and we can only hope our paths will cross again someday (soon).  And our friends that aren't apart of our small group but are still here in KC, including the newlyweds Brian & Angie that we adore ... tears ...

I have a feeling this move will be similar to our California move ... we lived there for almost a year and found work back in the Midwest and moved back 'home'.  Right now, I can't see this being a permanent, forever and ever and ever "until we retire" sort of thing.  Although, if Texas is where God wants us until we grow old and die at 99, then Texas it will be.  We have always prayed for His will to be done, and that will always be our prayer first and foremost.

We are loading the truck early Saturday morning and will leave for that hot, tornado-filled, snake-infested, red dirt state first thing on Monday.

This is definitely going to be an emotional weekend ahead, I can feel it in my bones.

Time for an update.

Once upon a time, a girl really missed her husband.  She wanted to go visit him, but after looking at airplane ticket prices, disregarded the idea.  Her husband sent her a text message asking her to come visit, emphasizing how much he really missed her and how he needed her.  So she jumped in the car and drove 12 hours, with a 1 year old, by herself.

True story!  {and the drive was seriously a breeze!}

I am in Denver!  We are together again.  And even though we're staying at his roommates house, who is a bachelor, who has 1 bathroom towel, no forks, no washcloths, and absolutely nothing except opened dog food in his fridge... we are together.  And even though we have no idea where we'll be next week, let alone in a month, we can go through this crazy ride together.

Right now, we have Tyler's resume out all over the country.  I mean, all over.  From Minnesota to Texas, from Washington to South Carolina.  And we will go wherever there is a good, stable job.  And medical benefits.  Because Lord knows we need those things.  Stability and benefits.

I have reached the point that I am ready to just go wherever we can that will give us some peace for a while.  If it ends up being somewhere other than the midwest, it will be temporary (1 year or so?) and we will continue to look for something close to our families.  But we have both reached the point that we're just ready to be settled again.  Sick of living out of a suitcase, sick of the constant worrying and stress.  Ready to just have a place to live, to decorate, to play, to eat, to belong... and to be a family again.

{can't you just see the pure joy in all of our faces?}

Dreaming.

Want to see my dream house?



I love yellow houses.  Love the big wrap-around porch.  Love the gazebo in the yard.  Cherry cabinets, granite countertops, brazilian cherry floors, stereo system wired throughout the house and a 1,000 bottle wine cellar in the basement?

Imagine what you could do with 4,140 square feet...

I keep dreaming of the day when I can sit on my front porch sipping a cup of coffee while my boys play in the yard.

Sign me up.

Cancellation.

Up and down... Up and down... lots of downs.

I feel like deleting the last post because it just makes me sad.  It brings me to tears reading "I finally feel like I can breathe", because all the sudden, all my air is gone again.  The plans that we thought were happening are no longer.  Exactly a week before Tyler was supposed to be home the company called him and said they no longer have the budgeting for his new job.  Essentially laid-off without even starting.

So that's that.  My husband is no longer coming home, he's still working in Denver ... although now they have given all the contractors a heads-up that they are going to be doing layoffs so I'm not sure how much longer he'll be out there ... maybe a week, maybe two weeks, or maybe he'll be one of the few contractors that gets to stay.  Which leaves us completely back to square one, him looking for a new job and once again praying that somehow we'll be settled and with health insurance by the time late October comes and baby boy #2 arrives.

I just wish I could just have a break from my life.  Jaxon brings such joy to my heart daily, and despite the stress of raising him alone and feeling terrible about him being without his daddy, I find reasons to smile and thank God for the blessings I do have, and try my hardest to focus on the things I don't.

But this weekend is hard.  He was supposed to be home yesterday.  Today we're supposed to be doing nothing, just relaxing and trying to spend every waking second together before he started his new job on Monday.  He's supposed to be laughing and playing with Jaxon while I make our infamous favorite Saturday lunch... mac 'n cheese.  ;)

Thanks for walking along this journey with us ... I know my blog has been pathetic and full of ups and downs... just hang on with me, hopefully sometime soon life will smooth out and just be more UP and not so much DOWN.