I've been thinking this week a lot about how often I compliment other women, and how hard it's become.
It's a difficult thing to do, don't you think? Behind a computer screen, it's easier. I've told my husband on and off throughout the years that I feel closer to a lot of my blog friends than I do to people in real life. Not because my friends are bad people, but I'm really starting to see it in my own life as well, that it's easier for me to compliment, to encourage, to build someone up, behind a computer screen than it is in person.
I used to think that I was a good encourager, and while I don't think I'm awful at it, I have also gotten sloppy in the last year or so. Jealousy creeps into my heart and when I see a friend that has lost weight, bought a new house, or just simply looks extra beautiful that day, I struggle more than normal to compliment her.
The sin of comparison is a big reason behind this, wouldn't you agree? "It's not fair that she gets a brand new house..." or "why does she always look put together while I look tired and sloppy?" We each have our own battles we fight, and the person that I am jealous of has struggles of her own. She may be caught in a trap of comparison herself, struggling to be content as well, but from my limited perspective she seems to have it all together.
A lot of times a simple, authentic, compliment can really change someone's attitude and the way they may be feeling. I can think of so many times that I was having a crummy day, and felt like a friend really swooped in to save the day, just by taking a second to lift me up. Knowing what a big difference encouragement does in my own heart, it should come more natural for me to do the same to others.
I want to do a better job of sharing an encouraging thought when it comes to mind, instead of holding it back. To realize the importance of my words, and become aware of my presence when someone is having a tough day. I want to really take note of what encourages me, and go out of my way to do the same for another person. Most importantly, I want to love with my whole heart, not just when I'm feeling like it... the way Christ has called us to. (Romans 12:10)
Life is so much sweeter when it's shared with people that are genuinely on your side. Who are authentic in their praise and love for you... the ones who truly share in your joy.
I want to be a friend like that.
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
1 Thess 5:11
I want to be a friend like that too!
ReplyDeleteGirl, I feel you on the comparison trap. The grass is always greener or so they say! But it's really not.
ReplyDelete"It's easier for me to compliment, to encourage, to build someone up, behind a computer screen than it is in person."
ReplyDeleteTruth. Something I honestly wasn't even aware of until you just said that.
And you are great at encouraging.
Just to encourage you:)
Oh. And I think the reason we feel closer to our blog friends a lot of times is because we write about our struggles, our adventures, our ups & downs. Non-bloggers you have to have that one-on-one time to connect to know where they are at. I think it's normal to feel that way. BUT. I know that a lot of times I need to be careful about placing my value of a person based just on their blog.
That person writing is still human. And still gets to control what you see/don't see about their life.
We just feel more connected to them because we think we're getting to see everything. When in reality, there's probably WAY more to that person's story than we even read about it.
Sorry to just go on & on about that. Can you tell I'm talking to myself at all there?! :)