And then I logged onto Pinterest. And some ridiculous idea popped into my head to look at a friends "home" board. Full of pins of beaaaautiful homes, designs and gorgeous kitchens straight out of a magazine. Homes that are not reality for most people, but we like to dream big. Or something like that.
And then I browsed her "Kids" board. And started feeling like my boys are probably going to suffer in school and need counseling as adults because I didn't do enough hand and footprint turkeys, and shoot... I never got around to making that homemade playdough or sidewalk paint.
The "clothing" board suddenly made me feel like my closet is full of ugly clothes and that I must.go.shopping.now. The "exercise" board did a great job of convincing me I was a big fatty who only went to the gym once this week. And let's not even talk about the DIY board, that screams at you to get up and construct something that very moment.
Are you seeing a trend here?
Pinterest makes me feel inadequate... like I'll never be good enough. I just can't help but feel that way every time I log on.
And then you check your Facebook, and see pictures from the Jones' recent family vacation to the Caribbean, and how the Smith's 3 year old now knows how to read. Or in my case, how the other local photographers have thousands of fans, while I relish in my 185.
It's the trap of comparison. False reality. And horrible Mom guilt.
I have to step away and question WHY I feel the constant need to "keep up". And remind myself of the truth, that I may not be a perfect Mom, wife, or house-keeper... but I am,
A loving Mom... who adores hugs, cuddles, kisses, tickling backs, and holding hands.
A supportive Mom... who will always listen with an open heart. Who will pray constantly and faithfully.
A baking/cooking Mom... who will provide dinner each night and bake their favorite treats.
A movie Mom... I will cuddle them on the couch all day long, if given the opportunity.
An "on the go" Mom... who will take them with me to the store, gym, and to fun places as well... the indoor mall, indoor playground, local parks, and many other places all over town.
A dance party Mom... watch out, I have some mad moves when that right song comes on.
A "kiss your Dad" Mom... who will be affectionate and loving and kind to their Father.
Or just "Mom".... frequently imperfect, but constantly trying. Always learning. Frazzled at times. But someone who will love them the exact way they need to be loved.
Comparison is getting me no where, other than opening a door for the Enemy to come in and lie to me, telling me I'll never be good enough.
All my boys ask from me is that I try, and for my love. Those two things they will always have.
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
Romans 12:2
I don't think you're alone in that Pinterest theory. I think a LOT of women battle that. I know I do. Honestly, sometimes I go in phases where I won't even log on for a while because it just makes me feel more overwhelmed. Othertimes, when I'm feeling creative or motivated, then I'll browse just to get ideas. Pinterest can be a beast. In fact, I've even seen some of my facebook friends comment how they were deleting their Pinterest account all together because it was not helping their spiritual life in keeping a content heart. Also, another thing...just because someone PINNED something doesn't mean that it reflects who they really are. I have about a million "tone your body" pins, but am I doing them? no. I have a ton of recipes pinned, but have I ever baked them? No. I have a ton of DIY projects and home decor and organization tips pinned...have I done any of them? No. So...you know...just keep that in mind.
ReplyDeleteI love you and I think you're amazing. I think your sense of style and decorating is incredible and I'm jealous of your photography skills and I think you've got the most adorable little family. You're blessed beyond measure. Just remind yourself of that.
Love you
Ugh. I fall in to this stupid Satan trap, too. Especially as a new mom. It's funny though because even when we realize that we DO have something that we want, the irony is we tend to take that for granted, too! One thing I really like about Pinterest is the quotes and verses I find. One of the quotes that I pinned says, "Don't let comparison steal your joy!" And that has really touched me lately.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, mama! You've been an amazing inspiration to me! :)
I love this. Thanks for the reminder, Megan.
DeleteDude, I rarely log into pinterest because it makes me feel like crap in every sense of my life. But I just wanted to cry reading this because I struggle so much with the "keeping up" part of life too. It's just ridiculous to try and compare, ya know? But we do it anyway.
ReplyDeleteTRUST ME - you are a great mom! You are an amazing photographer (that's coming from one of your very happy customers)! You - YOU - created photos that grace the walls of our home and that EVERYONE comments on when they come into our house! Take a deep breath and fill your lungs up with the breath of truth, Megan.
You're so worthy. You and I both need to try to love ourselves more and the confidence will be reflected in every part of our lives.
This is such a beautiful post, Megan. I think in this day and age when everyone's biz is up in our faces at all times through social media, it's easy to compare because we just know so MUCH about everyone now. But rest assured that Pinterest is like a fake place full of pretty eye candy that just isn't real. It's not--no way. Don't let it get to you, lady! You are a great mom and wonderful person. And Hot, too---hello family pictures beneath this post! Amazing!!
ReplyDeletePinterest does the same for me. Mostly in regards to activities for Isaac. Most days, I can use it to find fun ideas, but some days (like yesterday) it's just too darn much.
ReplyDeleteI wish we lived closer to each other. Posts like this make me want my bloggy friends to all live in the same town. :(
Amen and AMEN! Some people are motivated by the comparison but I am frozen by it. I'm happy for those who can use pint. and fb without any struggles or difficulties though!
ReplyDelete2 verses that have helped me a lot. I know Paul didn't write these verses with exactly these thoughts in mind but I am still encouraged.
Col. 3:3 "For you died, and your life is now HIDDEN with Christ in God." None of the arrows of jealousy or others criticism or what I think they think of me or how I feel about myself can touch me. I am HIDDEN. I am SAFE. I am SECURE. HE loves me and that helps me relax and feel joy by others' creativity and success.
Rom. 8:1 "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus..." NO one can condemn me not even myself! First and foremost for my own salvation but also to whatever "law" someone else places on me.
You are fantastic, Megan and God has blessed you with abundant gifts and abilities. If only I had an ounce of it! (: And I say that without an ounce(or almost) of jealousy! (: Love to you all! Debbie
Exactly. Well said.
ReplyDeleteOh this is all too familiar. It's so hard not to compare yourself/your life/your photography to others. I battle with this all the time. You're aren't alone. Keep your head up and eyes forward. You are blessed with a gorgeous family who won't love you an ounce less if you don't make footprint turkeys. ;)
ReplyDeleteMegan,
ReplyDeleteI read your post this morning and thought about it off and on all day long. Your posts are always so full of life and honesty and joy and frustration, and you know what? That's what life is like for EVERYONE!! We all have good moments and bad moments, so just remember that all those people who look like they have their act together still have plenty of opportunity to grow and change. They may do some cool craft with their kids, but maybe they can't photograph their children like you can. Maybe they can cook up a gourmet meal, but they might not have friends to share it with like you probably do. Their house might be decorated beautifully, but they may have a lot of credit card debt to prove it. Someone might exercise a little more, but maybe they're doing so to avoid something else in their life. They might be going on a fabulous vacation, but they may be celebrating the fact that they are alive after being hit with a lot of medical challenges. I guess my point is that I have yet to meet a perfect person, and there's always more to the story than meets the eye. I think you're a fabulous mom and wife, and I'm always drawn to your blog. Keep on writing! You are gifted!
Love this. We all fall victim to this, it's so hard in this digital age to see real people. I'm glad you were able to take a step back and see how amazing you truly are.
ReplyDelete