10 years ago I was in high school. Spending each day trying to fit in, trying to be accepted. For the most part, I was, but it didn't come natural for me. I was rude, I was selfish, I was seriously immature. The one good thing that did come from those years: my boyfriend, who is now my husband, who is my rock.
5 years ago we were living in California. Just a year into marriage we were still figuring out each other's quirks. Weekends were spent staying out way too late and sleeping in till 10am. I would clean the house well enough to eat off the floors, I took pride in the way our lives and marriage had unfolded. We had peaceful and quiet dinners together, we could spend our evenings doing what we choose. We missed our family each day, but I'd never trade those first couple years of marriage for anything. We needed to live away from our families. We needed to become our own family, just the two of us.
And now, here I am today. A Mom of 2 boys. I didn't imagine it this way... but before I go any further, lets pause to clarify: I wouldn't have my life any other way. However, if you would have asked me 10 years ago where I'd be today, I would have clearly told you without hesitation: a career lady. Definitely in ministry somewhere, as a music pastor or serving in worship ministry in some way. I would have never guessed I'd be a stay-at-home Mom, who clips coupons, pushes that obnoxious huge truck cart through the grocery store, buying juice and string cheese, and managing melt downs on aisle 6. A Mom who can never shut her brain off, worried whether or not the boys had enough fruits/veggies with their meal that day, or thinking about the future and who they'll become... of course praying that they serve the Lord and become men of character. Someone who spends her days singing, reading books, playing with trains, breastfeeding, babywearing, cloth diapering... someone who sweeps her kitchen at least twice a day to clean up cheerios, someone who goes to bed more often than not without a perfectly clean house.
These days are filled with servant hood. I think of 3 other people before I think of myself. I feed 3 other people before I even wonder what I'll have to eat. I dress and provide for 2 boys, who don't know any different. People have commented about the way I serve my husband, and all can think about as they tease me is Jesus, as he washed his disciples feet, and how He served them in that moment. During my quiet time as I was reflecting on this, I clearly heard the Lord minister to me. "You are serving me, by serving your family."
Nope, this isn't the exact life that I would have pictured for myself. But it's better than I could have ever imagined. I'm grateful. Yes, I can look back on those days and reminisce about the girl I used to be, all the while thanking Him for the life I have now. No, I may not be in front of a church congregation in ministry. But I am in ministry to my kids and husband. His plan is ALWAYS better than our own, yes?
I am blessed indeed.
