Family pictures.

I was so happy to get a recommendation from my friend Susan for a photographer in town that is just starting out, whose prices were very reasonable and something we could actually afford.

Here's a few of my fav's...

I think she did a great job capturing our family ... I just wish I would have waited a little longer to have family pics taken... 5 weeks after having a baby is not typically your best look. Oh well!

There's a few others that I like but I can't post because I'm a crazy type-A and I want it to be a surprise on our Christmas card!

Overall I'm happy with them and glad to have pics of the 4 of us to put on our wall... I think poor Cohen was developing a complex seeing pics of Jaxon and just the 3 of us everywhere. Ha!

Saturday afternoon.

How to bake cookies with an almost 2 year old.

#1. Pray for patience.

#2. Recruit your helper.

Bonus points if he's amazingly adorable.

#3. Gather all your ingredients.

#4. Explain rules.

Starting with "don't stick your hand in the mixer"

and remembering the most important one: have fun with Mommy.

#5. Mix ingredients in mixer.

Watch carefully as your helper "ooooh's" and "ahhhh's".

#6. Beware of sneak thieves.

#7. Take a break when you need one.

Play your guitar if you have one... just don't forget to dance along.

#8. Recruit other cute helpers.

It's okay if they're too young to participate, they still make great teammates.

#9. Bake cookies.

Put on your listening ears as your toddler explains to you that the oven is hot,

do not touch it Mommy.

#10. Remove foil from kisses.

Take advantage of the opportunity for a counting lesson.

Again on high alert for taste testers.

#11. Allow your helper to make sure the kisses are edible before placing them on the cookie.

#12. Enjoy the delicious cookies and the memories you just made.

Note: I am not usually a big "peanut butter kiss" cookie fan, but this recipe is incredible!

Try it out... just don't forget to recruit your helper. And rule #1.

Incredible.

{credit here}

Trusting.

This year has been full of up and downs. If you know me in real life, or even if you've regularly followed my blog, you know that. Re-reading our Christmas letter from last year, it was all frilly and perfect. "Tyler still enjoys his job..." - "Megan is still working at..." - "Jaxon is 10 months old and is the light of our lives..." - etc. Oh me oh my... how times have changed. And it didn't take long... a month after Christmas our lives were flipped upside down and we had to learn to trust. To really trust. To let go, and believe, even when every circumstance in our lives told us not to.

As much as I want to say we've completely learned the concept of letting go and trusting, it would be a lie. I want to say we have it all under control. But we don't. I still worry, I still fret. I hate that I do. I wish it was easier to trust in His provision.

Even today, I am on the verge of tears as Christmas approaches and I want so much for my boys, but can't give it all to them. I want so many more gifts to be under the tree from us {their parents}, but they won't be there. I want to drive home to the Midwest and not worry about gas money or our car breaking down on the way there. I want to give and give and give so much to my parents and inlaws, because they deserve it. I want to go to the grocery store and not have to cut coupons and buy off-brands. I want to be current on our mortgage in Kansas City, not months behind. I want to pay off all these medical bills that keep showing up each day from having a baby, and not have to make payments. I want to go back to our Christmas last year, when all seemed perfect, and continue those traditions we wanted so badly to have and continue each year... but instead we're striving to be content with what we have now and where we are.

Did you notice every sentence of the above paragraph started with "I want"? Yep, I want all those things. But I don't need any of it.

If I have a "come-to-Jesus" meeting with myself, I realize we're in this position financially because of sacrifices we've made. We've made these sacrifices for our boys, so that I'm able to stay home with them. It's what I've always wanted, but I truly believe it's whats best for our family right now. We've gone from 2 incomes and 1 baby to 1 income and 2 babies... but wouldn't change it for the world.

Money problems are for the birds. I hate the stress it brings, not only to yourself, but to your marriage. The extra pressure it adds to my husbands shoulders as he worries about being able to provide for us. Every time another bill shows up on my door step I always jump to the conclusion that it's my fault because I stay home and it literally makes me want to give up this SAHM gig and sign up for the first job I find on Craigslist. Or take up a fancy craft and sell it online. Or sign up for Avon. {just kidding about that last one.}

I am so thankful for a God that has provided for us faithfully this year and won't leave us now. Even when we both were jobless and had no idea what we were going to do, the bills were still paid. The heat was still on. There was still food on our table. People kept telling me that they admired how strong I was through it all, but I didn't feel strong. I felt weak. They kept telling me that they admired how I was able to trust God through it all. But really, what other option did I have? I could trust, or I could not trust. Take your pick, Megan.

So this Christmas, once again, I am choosing to trust. Trusting that, once again, He will provide for all of our needs. Not our wants, but our needs. And while I am bummed that Christmas won't be as fancy as I would want it to be for my boys, I am trusting that they'll remember this Christmas being filled with love.

And my God will meet all your needs according

to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.

~Philippians 4:19

Na-night.

It was the day my baby turned into a big boy.

I remember sitting in the nursery before Jaxon arrived, just staring at his crib. We spent months upon months before his arrival getting his room put together and imagined the first time we'd lay him in his crib. I'll never forget how itty-bitty he looked as we laid him down, just hours after getting home from the hospital. Unfortunately I don't have a picture of the first time he was in his crib, although I know we do have it on video.

{march 2009}

{august 2009, in his old room...sniff sniff}

{october 2009 - 8 months old}

I love this crib. We got it for a steal on Craigslist. I love the design, the color, and most of all... the sentimental meaning behind it. It's where my baby sleeps at night. Where he's safe each night. Where he sleeps and dreams.

Until now.

My parents came for Thanksgiving and brought with them a big boy bed, given to them by my Grandma Nancy. {thanks again!} The day after they left, Tyler and I spent a few hours in the boys room re-arranging the furniture trying to figure out how to fit an extra bed AND dresser in there. After we figured it out, Tyler asked me when we were going to let Jaxon sleep in his big boy bed. "When I'm ready" was my response. "You mean, when Jax is ready?" - "No... When I'm ready."

I don't know why I was dreading this moment so much, but I was. There is a huge emotional attachment to the crib, and there was no way my baby was ready for that change.

That same night after our usual bedtime routine, Jaxon crawled up onto his new bed. Then he laid down. So we went for it, with tears in my eyes. I grabbed his blankies out of his crib, gave him a binky, and we said goodnight.

Tyler and I thought for sure it wouldn't happen. The moment we left the room, he'd get out of bed and play with toys. Or cry. And we'd give up -- into the crib he would go.

We left the room and didn't hear a peep. I even got out my stalker video monitor and watched as he laid there. Rolled from side to side. Adjusted his blankie. Then... not a twitch from him.

Tyler went in about an hour later to grab some diapers for Cohen. When he came back out, he showed me this picture:

I mean, really? Was it really that easy for him to just ditch his bed, the only bed he had known for 21 months? Was it really possible that, just like that, our baby had turned into a big boy?

Yep. It's possible.

He's so proud of his new bed too. He loves to climb up there by himself, lay down, and simply state "na-night! na-night!" Hit the road Mom, I don't need you anymore.

Anyone who has been through this before can surely understand the feelings we had that night. It was such a bitter-sweet moment.

Thank the Lord we have another baby that will sleep in the crib. Because right now, I'm no where near being ready to get rid of it. Honestly, I wonder if I ever will. Surely we can find another use for it after Cohen outgrows it ... new love seat? A flower bed for the yard? ;)

Okay, Megan... it's time to let go. Let your boy grow up, just like he's supposed to. Just don't blink, because you'll miss it. Time really does fly by that fast.