Morbid.

If given the opportunity, would you want to know when (and how) you're going to die?

Don't know why I thought of that today. Just curious what you think.

Second chances.

Remember the whole Ted Haggard scandal?

Most of you probably don't know that Pastor Ted was my pastor while I was in college. Because of the school and program I was enrolled in at the church, we were required to attend staff meetings every week at New Life church. A lot of people hated these meetings, but I personally loved them. It was a time to worship with all of the staff, to hear a lot of "behind the scenes" things, and to hear Pastor Ted speak to his staff members. To hear what was on his heart and a lot of times just to hear/see him be silly and relaxed. I really respected Pastor Ted.

Then the scandal happened. I remember the exact time I heard about it. I was driving from Palm Springs, CA to Olathe, KS (when we were moving there) and my best friend Angie was in the front seat at the time. We happened to stumble across some guy talking about it on the radio and of course it caught my attention. I remember sticking up for him from the beginning, saying they were false allegations and there was no way he had done the things that were being said about him. They even played this audio clip of him talking and I said "nope, that's not him." In the back of my mind I thought it sounded like him, but there was no way I could believe that this leader that I really respected could have done this.

Then, come to find out, most of those things were true. I was completely heart-broken. At first I felt betrayed, like he had been living this false life the entire time he was leading New Life. Then over time I started getting angry because of all of the media attention. I remember sitting in a church in KS the following Sunday and the Pastor mentioned the situation and prayed that we could all be stronger than temptation, and I was offended that this Pastor had made Ted seem so high and mighty above sin, like he should have been a better Christian and this wouldn't have happened. As time went on, it seemed like that settled as most people's mind-set of him. That if he would have just been stronger, a better leader, or a better Christian, that this wouldn't have happened. UGH... to this day I could still go on and on about the situation. And a lot of people don't understand why I defend him.

Here's why I defend him. Ted is human. He is just as prone to sin as I am, as you are. Let's get one thing straight: I am not condoning his behavior, what he did, or saying it's okay by any means. What he did was definitely wrong. But in God's eyes, sin is sin... him doing what he did would be the same as you or I telling a 'little white lie'. Yes, he is a Pastor and it says clearly in the bible that he will be judged at a higher standard or level. But who are we to judge him and label him like he should have been perfect? I am sure he battled with many things just like you and I do. One of the biggest differences between us is that he had a bigger support system than we could ever imagine ... I can only guess the thousands of people that would have been there for him and helped him through those tough thoughts and things he was struggling with. I'll say it once, I'll say it a thousand times ... get plugged into a community group or small group. Everyone NEEDS a group of people who you can tell anything to and will pray for you and carry you through the tough times.

This has turned into more of a book than I had planned, but the point of this post ... Pastor Ted started a new church in Colorado Springs out of his barn. I admire him, and I think it is amazing that he is strong enough to go through tragedy and come out the other end of it and go back into ministry. I would love to attend his new church sometime ... he was always a fabulous and energetic speaker.

I believe in him. Many prayers are with you, Pastor Ted and your wife Gayle, in your new adventure.

Tears.

We are still in Denver, but we are packed and loaded and just waiting for the shuttle to arrive to take us to the airport, where I'm just praying Jaxon will sleep on the flight home. Please Lord.

Tyler left for work this morning, and just like last time, we had a couple of good cries and promises to see each other again soon. Had a great time here. Lots of new memories made and learned how to appreciate our time together even more. As Tyler left and his car pulled out of the parking lot, Jaxon started whining, then kicking his legs and eventually tore out of my arms. He ran towards Tyler's car and was screaming "Dad-deeeee!!! Dad-deeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!"

He didn't do that any other morning while we were here as Tyler would leave. He definitely knows something is going on. My poor, poor baby.

So what did I do... I broke down and cried with him. Because my heart breaks, just like his does, when we have to say goodbye to "Dad-dee". Life is not fair. But it's life, and we'll get through.

Goodbyes do not get easier, just in case you were wondering.

Have you seen this?

I love it.

To the men in my life.

I am the luckiest girl in the world. And here's why.

Not only do I have the BEST Dad ...
... a Dad who has a heart of gold. He cares genuinely for others. He puts himself behind others and puts others wants before his own. He loves authentically. He is real, you never doubt his motives or for the reasons for the things he does.
... a Dad who has been there for me and my family no matter what the circumstances.
... a Dad that has been through so much {ask to hear his testimony sometime!} and has thrived through it all, bringing our family closer together though the hard times.
... a Dad {and Mom!} that has taught me what commitment and true love in your marriage really means.
... a Dad that has shown me and taught me how to express my feelings through worship and music.
... a Dad who LOVES his children and grandchildren. There is no other relationship more important to him than the ones with his family, other than with God of course.
... a Dad who prays. Prays for his family. Prays for his leaders. Prays for his community. "A family who prays together, stays together."
... a Dad who is the spiritual leader in our family.
... a Dad who is amazing. What else can I say?


BUT ... not only do I have the best Dad, but so does my son. I truly have the best husband.

... A husband that loves me unconditionally. He knows my faults, my failures, my dreams, my goals, and loves me and supports me the same.
... A husband knows how to comfort me like no one else.
... A husband who is can be funny and serious in the same sentence, always keeping me on my toes!
... A husband who is dedicated to our marriage, through the thick and thin. Not only to our marriage, but to our family.
... A husband whose goal is to have a stable family and marriage for our kids' sake. And our own, of course.
... A husband that is a hard worker, and who will do anything for our family, no matter the cost.
... A husband who leads our family in prayer every day.
... A husband who loves loves loves his Jaxon baby, and puts their time together and their relationship above anything he wants to do on his own.


Happy Father's Day to all of the amazing men out there ... but especially to my Dad, my husband, and my Father-in-law! Love you all so.very.much.